Alchemy: A High School Chemistry/Geometry/World History Combo Study

We use CK-12's Chemistry for High School textbook as the teenager's spine for Honors Chemistry, with, of course, our own lab component added and a LOT of supplementation. 

We started supplementing right in Chapter 1, when we added a short study of alchemy to the textbook's brief history of chemistry.

I think that most teenagers find the concept of alchemy interesting--it's mystical and a little spooky, and it's very, very incorrect. Teenagers have SO much fun learning about adults who were incorrect!

Unfortunately, there really aren't a ton of great resources about alchemy that work well for a high school/undergrad readership, and there are a TON of contemporary, fantastical, and otherwise ahistorical resources that muddy up any kind of student-led research. 

Therefore, this study of alchemy was necessarily a short one, able to be completed within 1-2 hours. You could draw out the art component further, of course, by requiring a more polished piece that used a larger vocabulary of alchemical symbols and moves, but this brief afternoon's work was enough for our own purposes.

After reading the relevant material in the CK-12 Chemistry for High School textbook, my teenager and I watched this Crash Course History of Science episode (if your student isn't studying History of Science as a discrete topic, I highly recommend reviewing the playlist and adding applicable videos to their science/history syllabi as interdisciplinary enrichment):

Crash Course videos tend to be meaty, so it might be worth going over it a couple of times to make sure you absorb all the info.

After the video, my teenager and I looked through a number of alchemical illustrations and excerpts from alchemy books from alchemy's heyday. This Getty Research Institute's virtual exhibit is a treasure! Click on the link in the caption of most of the images to be taken to the digitized version of that book, which you can then flip through to find other interesting images and text. 

The teenager practiced her close reading to notice all the details in each piece of artwork, and used semiotic analysis to attempt to interpret the pieces. But also take time to notice how lovely each piece, is, as well; alchemy artwork is ART!

Using these pieces and some reference books, we then spent some time playing around with creating our own artwork that had (or looked like it had, lol!), alchemical meaning. The nature of the pieces also meant that the teenager could use the works she created as process pieces in her geometry art portfolio: 

Check out the accurate geometric shapes and the overall balance of the piece! DON'T check out my noisy digitization of the work; I really need to learn how to clean up art when I scan it, sigh...

That was as far as we took this particular lesson, but here's some further reading appropriate for an interested high school student:

• Alchemy: The Great Secret. This is a fairly accessible history for those who watched the Crash Course video but would like to learn more.
• Alchemy: An Illustrated A to Z. I wouldn't use this as a textbook supplement, but it was an excellent art reference. 
• Alchemy and Mysticism: The Hermetic Museum. Most of the text was beyond me, but it has tons of art to reference.

My favorite thing about alchemy is how it sits just next to being correct; like, they were wrong about the Sun and the Moon and dragon's blood and the mystical marriage of lead and tin, but while they were drawing their allegorical wedding feasts and busily melting silver in little pots, they were butting up against the actual chemistry that alchemy would evolve into. What they did reads now as adorably naive just because we know better, but these people were actually pretty bad-ass wizard scientists.

They also for sure all had lead poisoning, which explains a LOT of their artwork.

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Homeschool High School English: Gothic Literature, The Haunting of Hill House, and Why Teenagers Should Watch Rocky Horror Picture Show

Our 2023 pumpkin army is a vision of Gothic decrepitude!

If you know me AT ALL, you will be so surprised to learn that I think that you should watch The Haunting of Hill House Netflix series with your teenagers before you read the book!

It's really good, first of all, and it stars one of the guys from Leverage, which is another teenager favorite around here, and it's so genuinely scary that my one chicken teenager actually noped out of the experience, and it's a terrific set-up to the Gothic literature genre, especially the idea of the decrepit old house as a representation of the darkness inside ourselves... AND it's completely different from The Haunting of Hill House book in every important way, BUT has enough nods to the book that when you read it with the teenagers afterwards, they can discover all the little connections for themselves as an aid to interest and an encouragement for close reading.

The only thing to be wary of is that my teenager loved the Netflix series so much that she was Big Mad that the book was completely different, and therefore decided that she Did Not Like the Book, which is a shame because it is so good, just... different. So if your teenager, like mine, is spiteful and loves herself a grudge, maybe rethink this order.

For all the other teenagers, it's 1) the TV series, then 2) the book!

https://www.tumblr.com/brutaliakhoa/722303965399859200/what-if-the-house-was-haunted-what-if-the-house

Genre studies are very good for high schoolers, because a genre study gives them a lot of practice picking out themes from different artifacts and doing a lot of comparison/contrast, all supported with lots of evidence and that good flow of logic that connects evidence to conclusion. 

Gothic literature makes an excellent high school genre study for a few reasons:

1. It's not exactly horror, so it shouldn't actually scare off the scaredy-cats, but it IS horror-adjacent, and has a kind of aesthetic that really appeals to a lot of teens. Even kids who aren't super emo tend to appreciate Gothic vibes!

2. It's a genre that's covered a lot of ground, historically, so it gives teenagers more practice reading and analyzing older works than they're often used to. A lot of the teenagers that I've worked with get so fussy when asked to read anything with challenging language/syntax, including just about anything that's not completely contemporary. But they'll work harder for something that they find genuinely interesting, and I have a lot more luck making Frankenstein interesting than I do Romeo and Juliet!

3. Speaking of Frankenstein... there are so many excellent female authors within the Gothic literature genre, and this study is a great chance to focus on Mary Shelley, Shirley Jackson, Toni Morrison, Anne Rice, and other important female authors within the canon. Gothic literature is, as far as I know, entirely Eurocentric, but there are plenty of Black voices to add, especially if you delve into one of my favorite sub-genres, Southern Gothic. Researching to find works by other POC or authors across the sex/gender spectrum or other continents (now I'm thinking that some Japanese horror could also work?) would make an excellent final project for a teenager!

https://www.tumblr.com/angrylittleburd/730460890258980864/spatial-horror-isnt-i-am-in-a-scary-place-so

For our The Haunting of Hill House study, I got my teenager's buy-in because that Netflix series was so good. After we finished, I asked if she would want to read and study the book version next.

Reader, she did!

After that, I'd planned to go on a whole Shirley Jackson deep-dive with her, doing some short stories (including "The Lottery" of course!) and then my own personal favorite Jackson book, We Have Always Lived in the Castle. Alas that she didn't love the book version, because it caused me to scrap those plans, but to be honest, broadening the study out to cover other authors over a larger time period was more academically sound, anyway. 

For a semester-long, in-depth study that you could put on your kid's transcript as its own English course, I suggest reading several entire novels together. A lot of very early Gothic is super messed up, though (*cough, cough* The Monk *cough*), sooo... pre-read! But even without the most messed-up stuff, though, you've got Frankenstein, Dracula, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, The Picture of Dorian Gray, etc. I don't usually like to get too invested in authorial intentionalism, but author studies of Mary Shelley and Oscar Wilde would make good rabbit trails if your teenager seems especially interested in their works. Or utilize those author studies in their history course to add more inter-disciplinary work. 

More modern Gothic choices could include Shirley Jackson, Ira Levin (Rosemary's Baby is the more obvious choice, but The Stepford Wives plays with the theme of place in the Gothic genre in some interesting ways that your high schooler can use for their compare/contrast paper), Anne Rice, and Toni Morrison. If you do Interview with the Vampire, consider contrasting it with Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter, which is just as schlocky as it sounds, but actually has some interesting things to say about enslavement. 

Here's a New York Public Library list with even more Gothic literature books.

If you don't have an entire high school semester-long course to dedicate to Gothic literature, I also like the idea of covering the same ground via short stories. This list of Gothic short stories has Shirley Jackson, Edgar Allen Poe, Virginia Woolf, and William Faulkner on it, and also includes "The Yellow Wallpaper," mandatory reading, in my opinion, for any Liberal Arts major in the making.

Here's a list of Black authors of Gothic fiction that I've put on my own must-read list. I read Incidents in the Life of a Slave Girl back in undergrad as a slave narrative only and I've only read Octavia Butler's post-apocalyptic Parable of the Sower, so I'm very interested in reading/re-reading the works from this list through a Gothic lit lens! 

https://www.tumblr.com/string-star-lights/691764710603980800/rocky-horror-picture-show-asks-what-would-happen

I'm trying very hard not to raise a bunch of hopelessly unemployable Lit majors like myself, so even with high school English, and EVEN with high school AP English Literature and Composition, which is the teenager's current study, I like to extend the analyses beyond just written text to a wide variety of other cultural artifacts, and the work beyond just reading and writing to a wide variety of other intellectual explorations. 

Fortunately, movies, music, and theatre are all very easy to incorporate into a literature study, because you can use many of the same analytical processes with them. They tend, especially movies and theatre performances, to hit the same plot and thematic beats in much the same way as literature does, so it doesn't feel like a big stretch for a teenager to write about them while writing about literature. But you can then help your student notice the parts that ARE different, like costume and setting and acting choices and audience, and adding those analyses helps them deepen their thinking on their topic. 

As part of this study, we watched The Rocky Horror Picture Show, both at a family-friendly live show and (because the teenager fell asleep during it, lol) at home. Especially if your student has already studied Frankenstein, The Rocky Horror Picture Show is semiotically rich with its overtly mad scientist and self-aware Frankenstein's monster and heroine who is required to choose between man and monster. If you watch a live show, you also get to add in the audience as further cultural artifact; the concept of a self-aware, non-consensually modified character has a lot of appeal to a lot of people, and witnessing an audience seeing the experience as a celebration instead of a taboo is enriching. 

I also recommend The Hunger and Pan's Labyrinth as semiotically rich Gothic horror films, although Pan's Labyrinth scares the snot out of me! 

For a more in-person folklore/social history/anthropology element, and depending on how scaredy your own teenagers may be, it can be very fun and intellectually rewarding to visit a haunted house (in October), or attend one of those paranormal/ghost hunting excursions that a lot of cities have. Even my own corn-fed Indiana locale hosts several such events. Place semiotics is easy to see during these activities, and although analysis of a first-person event can be extremely challenging for this age range, it's a useful skill that teenagers should start developing.

Other hands-on activities for this study include creating one's own Gothic art (take a rabbit trail down the path of Gothic art for a day or two first, because that's another whole entire fascinating exploration!); DIYing a model haunted house that fits into some of the themes you've explored (if you do this, add in some extra STEM skills by incorporating this Pepper's Ghost element); or, of course, writing one's own Gothic short story or poem. If you've got a bit of a reluctant writer, or just one who gets writer's block, it's fun and low-stress to first have them write themes, elements, characters, etc. on notecards to pick at random to be included in the work, or even to write a circular story, in which every five minutes you pass your stories back and forth and collaborate on all of them.

And in my family, we end essentially every study with a themed family dinner and movie night. Is the most Gothic dinner food bloody finger breadsticks, or is it mummy head meatloaf? 

You're all wrong. It's mashed potatoes carefully unmolded from my skull pan, with pats of butter melting in the eye sockets.

P.S. Want even more high school lit studies? My kids really love the Gothic vibe, and we've done full studies on both Frankenstein and Dracula!

P.P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, handmade homeschool high school studies, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

My England Travel Journal Is... Excessive

 It took an extra six months and a final boost of half of The Crown Season 3 on DVD, but my England travel journal finally went from this--

--to this!

It might be just a tad overstuffed...

The actual travel journaling didn't take six months, but I also wanted to incorporate all of my favorite family photos from the trip and some of the ephemera I'd collected. 

And then at the Half-Price Books Outlet one day I found an old Eyewitness Great Britain, the kind where every page is illuminated with all the little pictures and maps and infographics, and things got a little out of hand.

So the book may indeed be morbidly overstuffed, but now I'll never forget the name of the delicious ice lolly that I got at the ice cream truck after making it down from Glastonbury Tor without having a heart attack--

--or the excitement/exhaustion of our first day in London, and how maybe some of us possibly wanted to curl up on the grass and die in front of Big Ben, but we rallied and toured Westminster Abbey instead:

If I ever want to remind myself of the floorplan of the White Tower, or reassure myself that yes, the Uber Boat schedule IS completely impossible to interpret and no, I do not EVER want to get back on that boat again no matter how lovely the Tower Bridge looks from the water, all I have to do is turn to my travel journal!

I can also use my travel journal to remind myself that I DO want to go back to Canterbury one day!

And, of course, anytime I want to debate with myself about which of the approximately 1,000 photos I took of my family at Stonehenge is the most marvelous, I can just flip through my travel journal and admire them all:

It's the perfect final chapter to a perfect trip!

I don't think I've got any massive trips coming up this year, not with all the fun my partner and I are going to have adding a second college tuition to our bill schedule. 

But we ARE going to New York City for a couple of days later this winter so I can finally see Hadestown on Broadway...

Okay, and my Girl Scout troop IS currently planning a spring trip to Boston...

And my younger kid and I might need to do some college visits after acceptances and financial aid offers come out...

And my older kid might be studying abroad next Fall, and if she does, well, it *would* be nice to go visit her...

P.S. Want to follow along with my unfinished craft projects, books I'm reading, cute photos of the cats, high school chemistry labs, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Sew Nesting Fabric Baskets from Stash Fabric

I originally posted this tutorial on Crafting a Green World in 2023.

Nesting fabric baskets make sorting and storing all your stuff super easy!

I’m willing to admit that I have too much stuff. But I mean, everyone has too much stuff, right? Please tell me that we ALL have too many books and mugs and LEGO sets and gel pens and plastic dinosaur figurines and interesting rocks… and they’re all important!

Other than getting rid of some of my stuff–which I am NOT willing to do!–I feel like keeping stuff contained and organized goes a long way towards making my house look only charmingly cluttered. Pile of interesting rocks on the bathroom counter? Put them in a cute fabric basket, and now they’re decorative! Soda can pop tops all over the kitchen table because the teenager “collects” them? That little fabric basket is the new pop top holding area!

Last week, I showed you how to sew a single fabric basket. These nesting fabric baskets sew up just the same, but give you a lot of storage options. Sew a set in the same colorway from the same fabrics, and they’ll all match each other and your decor. Since they nest, they don’t take up a lot of storage space, but when you need them, you’ve got four whole baskets’ worth of storage!

To make a nesting set of four fabric baskets, you will need:

• five squares of outside fabric for each basket. You’ll need a set of five squares in each of the following dimensions: 6″x6″, 5″x5″, 4″x4″, and 3″x3″. I generally use quilting cotton for this, although I’ve also upcycled some curtain fabric that was definitely some kind of polyester, and it turned out beautifully. The outside fabric for the set of baskets in these photos is an old pair of dress pants.
• five squares of lining fabric for each basket. You’ll need a set of five squares in each of the following dimensions: 6″x6″, 5″x5″, 4″x4″, and 3″x3″. Quilting cotton is also great for this, and it’s what I’ve used for the linings of these baskets, but I’ve also used old bedsheets or other random yardage in my stash.
• cutting and sewing supplies. Fancy supplies like a gridded cutting mat, clear gridded quilting ruler, and plastic sewing clips are fun to have, but you can work with any ruler, straight pin, and sharp scissors.

Step 1: Measure and cut the fabric for the four nesting fabric baskets.

For the 6″ basket, cut five 6″x6″ outside pieces and five 6″x6″ inside pieces.

For the 5″ basket, cut five 5″x5″ outside pieces and five 5″x5″ inside pieces.

For the 4″ basket, cut five 4″x4″ outside pieces and five 4″x4″ inside pieces.

For the 3″ basket, cut five 3″x3″ outside pieces and five 3″x3″ inside pieces.

Step 2: Sew the pieces of each basket into a T-shape.

In order to make these baskets look the best, you need to be REALLy precise with your seams here. If you have trouble sewing a perfect seam, consider drawing yourself a sewing line in washable ink.

You will sew each piece with a precise .5″ seam, and you will start and stop precisely .5″ from the end of each edges. I know it’s fiddly, but your baskets will look soooo nice this way!

Check out the photo below, in which I’m sewing one of the cross pieces of the T:

Here’s a zoomed-in view of where I stopped my needle:

Those precise .5″ seams allow you to use the stitching lines as your starting and stopping points for the cross pieces.

Step 3: Sew adjacent sides together to form a cube with an open top.

Sew each adjacent side together, again with a .5″ seam allowance. You can start sewing right at the top of each seam, but down at the corners, stop again .5″ from the end.

If you’ve been really precise sewing your T, you will see exactly where to stop stitching, because that’s where all the stitch lines will meet. If you overshot on a piece or two, though, just snip the stitches that went too far:

Just snip the couple of stiches that you overshot by, and you're good to go!

Step 4: Insert the lining into the outer fabric and sew a fold-over binding.

Turn the outside basket right side out, but leave the inside basket inside out. Insert the inside basket into the outside basket, and line up all the corners and side seams.

Fold the top edges down twice, so that the raw edge is encased. Pin or clip the fold in place:

Edge stitch around the binding to secure it. It gets trickier the smaller the basket is!

That’s one of the reasons why 3″x3″ is about the smallest you can go.

Look how fiddly that 3"x3" basket is to finish!

I especially love how great these baskets are for sorting projects in progress, like toys, puzzle pieces, and sewing supplies while I work. And when they’re not needed, they look so neat and tidy nested together!

These basket sets are a great stashbusting project, because you can make a set or two for every room. I used up that entire pair of dress pants making cute, useful fabric baskets for my house. My stash fabric bin is thrilled!

P.S. Want to follow along with my unfinished craft projects, books I'm reading, cute photos of the cats, high school chemistry labs, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

How to Make the Easiest Sewn Fabric Baskets

If you have enough fabric baskets to hold all your stuff, then obviously you don’t have too much stuff!

So what if my solution to my minor tendency to hoard interesting rocks, empty thread spools, soda can pull tabs, and pretty matchbooks is just to toss them into these beautiful sewn fabric baskets? The stuff is out of the way, attractively stored, and if one day you really need me to make you some pull tab chainmail, I will be able to get right to it!

These fabric baskets are purposefully a bit on the droopy side, because I don’t like to sew with artificial materials like interfacing. A little interfacing or even cereal box cardboard would firm them up, though, if you prefer that look. I like my baskets to look as slouchy as I am!

To make these baskets, then, you won’t need interfacing, but you WILL need the following:

• five 6″ squares of outside fabric. I generally use quilting cotton for this, although I’ve also upcycled some curtain fabric that was definitely some kind of polyester, and it turned out beautifully.
• five 6″ squares of lining fabric. Quilting cotton is also great for this, but I’ve also used old bedsheets or other random yardage in my stash.
• cutting and sewing supplies. I know it’s just one more thing to buy, but I finally gave in and bought myself some of those plastic sewing clips that are on trend. I’m not as obsessed with them as TikTok, is, and they’re a lot less eco-friendly than the steel pins that were good enough for your granny, but I WILL say that I never again want to sew binding without them!

Step 1: Cut the outside and the lining fabric.

Cut five pieces of fabric that are 6″ square for the outside of the basket, and another five pieces for the inside. Arrange your pieces like this:

If you’ve ever in your life done any math, then right now you’re asking me why you have to cut five different squares of fabric for these baskets, when obviously you could just cut one piece of fabric three times that length and save yourself sewing two seams.

The answer is that 1) I own a 6″x12″ gridded quilting ruler that I’m obsessed with and all I do all day is think of things to cut that are 6″ or 12″, and 2) the seams help the basket have crisper edges. If you want to save yourself a couple of seams I won’t stop you, but your basket won’t look as cute.

Also, if you’re sewing a print fabric, like my pink one in the finished photos, you can rotate each piece so that its aligned in the proper direction before you sew it. No upside-down prints on YOUR baskets!

Step 2: Sew the pieces into a T-shape.

In order to make these baskets look the best, you need to be REALLy precise with your seams here. If you have trouble sewing a perfect seam, consider drawing yourself a sewing line in washable ink.

You will sew each piece with a precise .5″ seam, and you will start and stop precisely .5″ from the end of each edges. I know it’s fiddly, but your baskets will look soooo nice this way!

Ironing each seam open also really helps you sew precise seams on those cross-pieces. In the photo below, the stitching line is my starting point for sewing a cross-piece. At the end of the seam, the other stitching line is my stopping point!

Do this for both the outside fabric and the lining fabric, until you have two perfect T pieces.

Step 3: Sew adjacent sides together to form a cube with an open top.

Sew each adjacent side together, again with a .5″ seam allowance. You can start sewing right at the top of each seam, but down at the corners, stop again .5″ from the end. If you’ve been really precise sewing your T, you will see exactly where to stop stitching, because that’s where all the stitch lines will meet. If you overshot on a piece or two, though, just snip the stitches that went too far.

Step 4: Insert the lining into the outer fabric and sew a fold-over binding.

Insert the lining fabric into the outer fabric, wrong sides together. Make sure the corners match and that the seams are lined up.

Fold the top of the lining and the outer fabric over twice, so that the raw edges of both pieces are enclosed. Two .25″ folds will give you a perfectly square basket, but feel free to fold them over more if you’d like a shallower basket and a wider binding.

Pin the binding well with the pin or clip of your choice!

Edge stitch the binding in place.

These sewn fabric baskets are so quick to make that they’re an easy way to give some handmade love to your loved ones. Every now and then I’ll surprise one of my teenagers with a new little basket that matches their room decor, and that homemade matching game that I made a few weeks ago was lovingly packed into its own little fabric storage basket when I sent it to my niece.

The most important use of the fabric baskets, though?

Holding all my pull tabs, empty thread spools, interesting rocks, and best bits of sea glass, of course!

P.S. Want to follow along with my unfinished craft projects, books I'm reading, cute photos of the cats, high school chemistry labs, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

I Read The Cold Vanish and It Really Bummed Me Out

Cleaned Christmas off the coffee table, and now it's time to eat Domino's and watch Trolls!

Because why would I want to read something lighthearted and fun over my Winter Break staycation, when I could instead read something seriously depressing?

The Cold Vanish: Seeking the Missing in North America's Wildlands by Jon Billman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This book is tied with When You Find My Body as a compelling, first-person story of what it’s like to love someone who’s gone missing in the wild. The author, Jon Billman, spends the most time with Randy, the father of Jacob Gray, a bicyclist missing from Olympic National Park. Billman writes vividly about Randy’s obsession with searching for his son, and it really moved me… although not, I don’t think, in the way that Billman intended. Unless he wanted me to spend New Year’s Eve super sad about the meaningless and futility of life?

In between writing about Jacob and Randy, Billman writes about the cold cases and search efforts for other people mysteriously missing in the wild. Cases like Amy Bechtel’s and Marty Leger’s highlight how mysterious and frustrating it is when a person simply disappears, and how often it’s not even in what we would think of as “the wild”--both of those cases happened on marked trails. Bechtel’s case, especially, illustrates how easily a missing person’s loved ones can turn on each other or behave unpredictably; if Bechtel’s husband had submitted to a lie detector test, something that seems like a sticking point for her blood relatives, would it have put their minds at rest, or would the test’s notoriously faulty results have caused him to be unfairly targeted?

However, my biggest takeaway from this book is Coast to Coast AM, a radio show Billman mentions a few times in the book. I found its podcast version on Spotify, and while it’s not going in my regular rotation, it did keep my family entertained for a few hours off and on while putting together puzzles over winter break. 

I’ve since been told that in 2020-2021 the show was all about the anti-mask COVID conspiracies, which is gross, but I found that at least in the recent episodes the dynamic of the host nodding thoughtfully and asking engaged questions while his guests ramble on in pseudoscience nonsense-speak is actually kind of charming? Like, did you know that you should be writing down your dreams because they’re all precognitive? Also, aliens!

Anyway, Billman’s point in mentioning Coast to Coast AM was to bring up Sasquatches, and the people who believe in Sasquatches, and to kind of, in a wavy-hands sort of way, connect them to the search for Jacob Gray, in particular. I feel like the point he originally wanted to make was how kind, helpful, and generous the Olympic Project, in particular, had been regarding the search, including allowing Jacob’s father, Randy, to stay in their headquarters. The larger, better point was possibly meant to be how, due to lack of government oversight/interest in the plight of the missing on public lands, the absence of a definitive clearinghouse of data, and disorganization and petty disputes over authority, it fell to a group of goodhearted crackpots to fill in the gaps as best they could. However, what Billman ends up writing about is how he sat there and watched as Randy grew more and more desperate, and more and more willing to entertain all the crackpot ideas that came his way, whether it was aliens or Sasquatch or wild goose chases caused by every psychic with a cell phone and/or access to his Facebook page. It was abject--you could tell Billman also found it abject--and it ultimately felt unkind and voyeuristic, the way that he notes every time Randy brought up Sasquatches, or followed a lead that was about Sasquatches, or, in a scene that jarred and upset me, cried out to Sasquatches who might be watching invisibly to ask them to help him find his son. It felt wrong to vicariously stare at this man in the most broken moments of his life, a bridge too far while attempting to illustrate what it’s like to be a person whose loved one is missing in the wild, and it made me question Billman’s capacity for compassion.

I was also really uncomfortable with Billman’s anecdote about accompanying Alan Duffy and a couple of his bloodhounds on a completely unnecessary walk through the former neighborhood of the late JonBenet Ramsey just so Duffy could show Billman that even after all these years, his bloodhound still smelled cadaver at her house. The current homeowner--and her young child!--were apparently in their yard at the time, and these guys were enough of a disturbance that the homeowner threatened to call the police. I know Duffy and his bloodhounds do a lot of good, but this particular display was crass and unethical, it distressed innocent people, and Billman should have declined to participate.

Overall, though, this book is better than those few isolated lurches into looky-loo-ism. I did come away feeling like I could see the experience of loving someone who’s gone missing in the wild. That experience, though, is desperately sad, and this is, therefore, a sad book to read. The culmination of all of Billman’s first-person work is the phone call he receives near the end of the book from Randy, telling him that Jacob’s body has been found by some biologists working in the park. It is a terrible result, not the least of which because all of Randy’s efforts of the prior 16 months had been towards finding Jacob. He followed every lead, however unlikely, he dove into swollen rivers to search underneath logjams, he hiked over impossibly rugged terrain, he drove as far as Canada simply to see if Jacob might have gone there. And nothing that he did helped find his son. Those biologists were always going to be in that place at that time. He could have sat his butt at home that entire time and the result would have been the same. That’s the saddest thing, to me. If it was at all possible for a parent to find their child by force of will, by effort or determination, Randy would have found Jacob. But he didn’t, so it’s not possible.

I suppose my main takeaway from this book is that in these years-long searches for missing people, of course there are going to be people behaving poorly, but fortunately Billman also includes plenty of stories of people behaving admirably, as well. Duffy does admirable things with his bloodhounds. Elite cross-country runners volunteer their time to search backcountry areas that typical searches couldn’t touch. Randy Gray benefits from the kindness of strangers over and over again in his search, and is, in turn, kind and generous to everyone around him. Jacob sounds like he was an awesome guy, and I hope that Randy is able to feel some peace now that he knows where Jacob is.

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