Wednesday, July 19, 2023

Day 8 in England: In Which We Draw the Dread Sigil Odegra, and Careen Our Way to Canterbury Cathedral and Dover Beach

Do you know Good Omens, the Terry Pratchett and Neil Gaiman joint?

If you haven't, spoiler alert! Also, you should really be consuming media more quickly, because the book is, like, 33 years old by now. Read the book, then watch the series, then read a bunch of Aziraphale/Crowley fanfic, then buy yourself some cute little fanart on etsy to celebrate your obsession. You're welcome!

Anyway, there's a running joke/semi-major plot point involving the M25 that circles London, mainly how it's terrifying and terrible because it was secretly designed by the demon Crowley to form an ancient sigil that reads, "Hail the Great Beast, devourer of worlds." Everyone who drives it empowers and becomes part of its low-grade evil emanations.

So guess what was the very first road we drove on after picking up our very first right-hand drive car and veering our way out of the Gatwick Airport parking garage, poor Matt with his hands at 10 and 2, knuckles white, me screaming, "Left side! Left side! Oh Sweet Jesus LEFT SIDE!" as a helpful reminder of England's left-hand traffic, and both teenagers actively having panic attacks in the back seat?

I think we have never been so collectively terrified in our lives.

Also, I cannot BELIEVE that they let us just... rent this car and drive away? Like, they slapped a sign by the exit that reminded us to drive on the left hand side of the highway, and then boom! There we were, zipping along in bumper-to-bumper traffic!

I will go to my grave insisting that roundabouts are not better than traffic lights and why do they have so many lanes in them and how do you know which lane to be in, anyway? We never did figure that one out...

We had yet to experience how very narrow English roads could actually be, so after we'd careened our way to Canterbury and I was attempting to navigate us to a parking lot, I kept being all, "Turn here--OMG wait don't turn there that must be a sidewalk or something! Do the next--no, wait, that's surely another sidewalk. WHY IS GOOGLE TRYING TO GET US TO DRIVE OUR CAR INTO THESE TINY LITTLE CREVICES!?!"

I'm very glad we didn't reverse our touring plans and go to Lyme Regis first. Now THOSE were some narrow roads! 

Eventually we found a parking garage, left the car and kissed the concrete under our feet, thanked Thomas Becket for helping us arrive alive, and wandered through Canterbury to find the newly restored Christ Church Gate:


Zooming in on my photos at home so I can see all the little details is the next best thing to having binoculars!


We'd arrived a lot later than I'd planned, thanks to having no idea how to drive in England, so I dithered at first about actually going into Canterbury Cathedral, knowing I wouldn't have time to see everything. We wandered around a bit, checked out a couple of secondhand bookshops and vintage clothing stores, and then a shopkeeper gave us the tip that you could get a good view of Canterbury Cathedral through the second-floor window in the visitor's center:


The shopkeeper knew what she was doing, because as soon as I saw Canterbury Cathedral in real life, I said, "Yep, I've got to go there."

And thus my pilgrimage to Canterbury, begun four days earlier at Southwark Cathedral, is complete!


Even under construction scaffolding, Canterbury Cathedral is the most impressive building I've ever seen:


I kept craning my head to look at the super high ceilings:



Guess I wasn't the only person who walked into Canterbury Cathedral and stopped looking where I was going!


I was so busy goggling at the architecture that I barely got a single photo of the assassination site of Thomas Becket:


And I definitely almost fell down a giant flight of stairs in my desire to stand exactly centered beneath the Bell Harry Tower:

See the lovely fan vaulting! I don't know how tall this ceiling is, but the entire tower is over 250 feet tall.

It was honestly ridiculous how beautiful Canterbury Cathedral is. I was almost offended--like, how dare you just stand there and be the most beautiful thing I've ever seen in my life?!?



And then, as if that wasn't more than enough, there was an exhibition in the crypt that had manuscript Bibles, pilgrim badges, more cool stuff owned by the Black Prince, and some excellent Gothic statuary:


And then as if THAT wasn't more than enough, we also found a library!


Here's some of us, wandering around in baffled amazement:


We really didn't have time to explore the rest of the Canterbury Cathedral site (until next time, then!), but some of us needed fuel and fortification before we got back into our Rental Car of Terror, so we popped into our first (but very much not last!) pub of the trip, The Old Buttermarket:


We even let the 17-year-old order her very first hard cider with our late lunch, thinking that a bit of a sedative before the upcoming drive wouldn't hurt, and might even keep her from having to breathe into a paper bag the entire time:


Another bit of a wander, definitely us procrastinating to avoid the upcoming ordeal because we really did need to get back on the road...

I LOVE how you can look down little streets and see the cathedral!

When I come back again one day, I'm DEFINITELY doing the Canterbury Tales live-action experience omg.

Then we bravely set forth like stalwart pilgrims and let Thomas Becket preserve us as we veered over to Dover Beach:


There was an open water swimming club practicing nearby, as well as the busy ferry port, but, as always, some of us were mainly interested in our Special Interests:

Contributing to the heft of her suitcase!


After a long walk along the beach, we all piled into one hotel room to eat Caribbean takeout and watch, in baffled fascination, this amazing 1969 British TV show about a ghost detective. At the time I thought that maybe I only thought it was so bizarre because I was soooo tired, but no. It really was that bizarre.

And apparently the TV only got more bizarre after I fell asleep, because Matt swears that he stayed up later and found a dating show in which the contestants were completely naked...

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