Craft Knife: Day 6 in England: Pax Lodge, the Tower of London, and Afternoon Tea

The day's agenda:

9:00 flag ceremony at Pax Lodge
Tower of London
5:00 afternoon tea at The Wolseley

The Pax Lodge WAGGGS World Centre was on my must-see list for London, but OMG it was SUPER far from where we were staying! Like smack on the other side of the city far! Fortunately, the time change really worked in my favor, as everyone in the family was so chronologically disoriented the entire trip that they didn't care what godawful time I woke them up at, because what even is time?

And an extremely long bus trip just means that we can sit on the top deck and sight-see!

Welcome to Pax Lodge!

We arrived in time for the 9:00 flag ceremony, which, as all Girl Scout ceremonies must, required us to sing a multi-verse song that we did not know the tune to. Fun fact: I actually knew ahead of time that this would happen , and I prepped everyone but the teenager, on account of 1) she would NOT be a good sport about it, and 2) she would smother me in my sleep if she knew that I knew this was going to happen and made her do it anyway. Ahem.

A better parent would have probably just made us all learn the song ahead of time, but I had packing to do and I'm pretty sure that two of us are tone-deaf, anyway, and the other one who isn't wasn't going to sing, regardless, and singing out loud, whether or not I know the tune, is, like, the one thing on this planet that doesn't give me anxiety, so we toughed it out without having done the homework.

Pro tip: If you need to sing a song with people who don't know the tune, do it as a "repeat after me" song for the first verse and chorus, and then they'll be able to bumble along pretty well for the rest of the song.

Anyway, singing folksy songs together, whether or not you know the tune, is charming, and so is the rest of Pax Lodge!

One of the live-in volunteers offered us a private tour, which I did not expect, so here are some of the random things that I was delighted by:

International collection of bandanas from other WAGGGS organizations

International and historical collection of trefoil pins

London's original center was named Our Ark, and it had its own china pattern with little arks on it!

Pax Lodge has a ton of original Baden-Powell memorabilia.

The teenager got to pin our town on the world map of visitors.

We left with official Pax Lodge pins, ones that you can only earn by visiting Pax Lodge in person and that you can wear on your official Girl Scout uniform, and Challenge Around London fun patches that we could earn by visiting various spots (you KNOW I checked the booklets first to make sure it was all stuff we were already going to do anyway, ahem...).

All that, and by five minutes to ten, we were back in the Tube station on our way downtown!

When we got off the Tube at Tower Hill, I told the family that I was taking them somewhere for second breakfast, but actually I was taking them here!

It's best to keep a teenager who professes to hate traveling on somewhat of an information diet--tell her the big stuff, sure, but the small, annoying stuff might as well be a surprise. She'll bitch about it during and after, regardless, so it just saves you a bit of beforehand bitching.

So what a surprise that on my somewhat meandering path to the local Pret a Manger, we just happened to walk right by the Leonardo Royal London Hotel! I took a hard right into the private entrance, my ducklings followed, one clucking in minor distress, through the entryway, past the hotel restaurant's outdoor seating (more distressed clucking ensued), and straight to the London Wall!

Fun fact: the kids freaked out multiple times on this trip because they thought we were trespassing. Trespassing is definitely still a thing that you can do in England, but all of the places that we went had public access rights to walk through them, and the "private" signs that the kids were freaking out about always ended up referring to vehicles. It was a very eye-opening concept for my young "Get off my lawn!" Americans to wrap their heads around!

*I* cannot wrap my head around the concept that the ground level has risen so much since Roman times that the bottom of the excavated wall now essentially sits in a deep ditch. That balcony to the right is the street level!

London kept building on this wall for 1,000 years, so the upper sections, with the windows perfect for shooting a crossbow out of, are Medieval:

I know it's supposed to be disappointing chain food, but I LOVE Pret a Manger! It's super basic, I get it, but a super basic sandwich with chips is one of my ultimate comfort foods, and having the British versions of sandwich fillings and crisp flavors was just the right touch of novelty to make me feel both cozy and adventurous. Also, it's quick and easy, because my least-favorite activity during sightseeing is stopping my sightseeing to obtain precious nourishment--I'm a lot of fun to travel with, I promise! Everyone else was on a spectrum of Pret tolerance, with Matt outright hating it, but I was happy as a clam whenever I could conveniently snooker us into grabbing a quick bite there.

Our tummies comfy with basic sammies and crisps, off we went to the Tower!

I wasn't sure how great the Tower of London would be, compared to how expensive the tickets were, but there was a lot to do there! We started with our obligatory guided tour, led by Yeoman Warder Hardy--

Check out the brand-new uniform, not even a month old, with the King Charles cypher on it.

--which was a good way for me to get my bearings, as, GASP!, I have not read up very much on the Tower of London! Please feel free to spam me with your book recs!

The memorial to the royal victims executed at the Tower of London is set on Tower Green, supposedly the site of these executions (there is primary source evidence, however, that Anne Boleyn, at least, was executed at a spot between the White Tower and the Jewel House):

The centerpiece is a glass cushion. I've seen photos of it soon after its installation, showing that the corners tassels were originally glass, as well. I've also seen later photos that show that some of the glass tassels had disappeared. And in THIS photo, the cushion has a metal band around it--and metal tassels!

I got distracted in the Chapel of St. Peter ad Vincula and didn't take photos, but I've since read a lot more about it, and I was interested to learn that they're not completely sure that the burial site inside it that they've marked as belonging to Anne Boleyn actually does belong to her. Here's another source that talks more about that Victorian restoration of the chapel and the condition that the remains were found in.

Of everything at the Tower of London, the college student was most excited to see the ravens! Because of the bird flu, some of them are in enclosures east of the Wall of the Innermost Ward--

--but others were happily roaming about while we were there:

The college student and I watched the raven below for quite a while, as it bopped about on the grass and the wall. I'll spare you the approximately five hundred adorable photos that I took of it...

When we could finally be dragged away from the raven, we visited an exhibit on torture inside the Bloody Tower:

The most famous victim of torture here was Guy Fawkes, and earlier, Yeoman Warder Hardy had treated us to a rousing recitation of the entire poem. Remember, remember, the Fifth of November!

There were several small museums inside the various buildings in the Tower, so we also popped into Beauchamp Tower to see some of the graffiti that prisoners had carved into the walls:

This guy made himself a rebus. His last name is a bell with the letter "A" on it, because he was Thomas Abell!

Here is the White Tower, built by William the Conqueror:

Here's the storage space where the bodies of two children, identified by consensus (not forensics), as the lost princes, were found:

A few days earlier, we saw their current resting place in Westminster Abbey.

The White Tower also has an excellent collection of historical arms and armor, including many of the actual pieces worn and used by former kings and queens of England.

Fancy horse armor! This belongs to young Henry VIII, back when he was fit and trim from spending his days hunting, jousting, and playing tennis. His skirt reads "H&K" for him and his first wife, Katherine.

This is Henry VIII's armor in the latter part of his life, when he was sedentary but still ate like an athlete.

This child's armor belonged to Henry, son of James I. Henry was raised in Stirling Castle in Scotland, and liked dancing, tennis, and golf. He also wanted to learn to swim, but his father forbade it. He had a swear jar, and would piss people off by making them donate to it when they cursed in front of him. He died at the age of 18 from typhoid fever.

Henry's armor is decorated with scenes from the life of Alexander the Great.

This is listed as the armor of Charles I, but since it was technically created for his older brother, Henry, who knows if Charles actually ever wore it? His reign also was... not as long as it could have been.

Fun fact: I am obsessed with castle privies, and really all Medieval plumbing--just ask the children how many times in their young lives I have brought up the origin and history of the phrase "Gardyloo!!!", or how many excuses I find to shout it myself in proper context. It's great when tossing out a bucket of mop water!

And whenever confronted with a castle privy, I will sit on it and ask someone to take my picture:

Giant Norman fireplace!

Lovely stone chapel! Chapels were either on the top floor of a castle, or they stuck out weirdly, because putting another room on top of a chapel simply wasn't done.

George III's sword is in the middle. The label for this read, in part, "Today he is best known for losing the American colonies," lol. Happy Fourth of July!

You guys. All of the weapons below? They. Were. MUDLARKED!!!!!!!

Here's a nice view from William's riverfront property:

I almost begged off seeing the Crown Jewels after seeing this line--

--but all the signage swore that the line moves quickly, so we decided to give it a whirl. And yay, because the line moved quickly!

I can't believe I almost didn't go in, because the Crown Jewels were the most wonderfully ridiculous things that I've ever seen! I can tell it's meant to be pretty because there's so many diamonds on it, but in point of fact the whole lot is pretty cringe. Like, how about you put on this hat that's made of purple velvet, crammed with blood diamonds and other gems that are blue and green, colors that don't look cute with purple? Afterwards, we'll have a party and drink wine from this gold punch bowl that's big enough to drown a seven-year-old in?

After we'd marveled over Tudor excess, the kids piddled in the gift shop for approximately forever, then we exited by the Thames with beautiful views of the Tower Bridge:

If you don't have a photo of yourself in front of the Tower Bridge, were you even a tourist in London?

This felt like a better view of Traitor's Gate than we got from inside the Tower:

And even though the Yeoman Warder uniforms were updated, the gates were not!

Back to the Tube, and back to Green Park, where we had a reservation for a fancy afternoon tea at The Wolseley:

I made this reservation after submitting sample afternoon tea menus from several restaurants to the pickiest of my picky eaters, and reserving the sole one that she said she'd consent to eat from. So of course on the big day she woke up with an awful sore throat. Even though I'd been regularly dosing her all day from my backpack full of OTC meds, the hot tea here was the first time she felt any relief, poor kid. She drank tea and managed to get down a couple of scones with clotted cream and jam, while the rest of us absolutely mowed down tiered tea trays piled high with delicious treats:

Here's when we all discovered that even though none of us like tea, we ALL like tea when it's stuffed full of milk and sugar!

This begins my obsession with scones with clotted cream. In a couple of days when we hit the road, I will discover that every English Heritage site has a tea room, and I will proceed to sit and have a nice cream tea next to every national treasure the country holds.

Aftermath! We were all very pleasantly full.

Afterwards, we went straight home, and although we thought that we were full from the afternoon tea, it turned out that we did have room for take-out Indian food.

Here's our trip so far!

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Tuesday, July 4, 2023

Day 6 in England: Pax Lodge, the Tower of London, and Afternoon Tea

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