I Read the English Heritage Book of Glastonbury Because the Spirit of a Medieval Monk Told Me To

English Heritage Book of Glastonbury by Philip Rahtz
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I wish I had read this book before I went to England, not after, because not a single person bothered to tell me about poor Richard Whiting, the final abbot of Glastonbury Abbey. During the Dissolution he was dragged across town and then up Glastonbury Tor and hanged, and THEN he was quartered and his head was mounted over the gateway of the Abbey!

Apparently people thought he'd hidden treasure in the Abbey? But the thing is that later they literally DID find a ton of treasure in the walls, but poor elderly Abbot Whiting probably didn't have anything to do with it.

Fun facts like these kept me fascinated by this history of Glastonbury, and I enjoyed reading the history through the lens of the texts and archaeological evidence that vividly illustrate it. I really liked the Lady Chapel when I visited, for instance, and it was cool to read that this spot is also the location of St. Joseph's Well, which is likely pre-Normanic and possibly the very first thing ever built on this site. 

Lady Chapel crypt, but the part with St. Joseph's Well is out of frame because I didn't know it was important, damnit.

I wish I'd known that when I was standing next to it--I would have taken a photograph! It's a bummer that the on-site resources didn't tell me all this interesting info, so thank goodness for archaeologists who write books for English Heritage!

The literal illustrations are also excellent, and now I get to pine for my own print of the works of Judith Dobie, who apparently has the coolest-ever job of creating illustrations of historical England. I wish *I* knew how to watercolor Neolithic long barrows! 

Embed from Getty Images

My teenager, who's very into Arthurian legends, really wants Dobie's print of the exhumation of Arthur and Guinevere from this book--you can actually see in the illustration both the monk who picks up Guinevere's golden hair only to watch it disintegrate in his hands (doh!) AND the monk who finds the lead cross that super conveniently is inscribed something along the lines of "Here Lies the Definitely Very Real Not Fake King Arthur."

Even though Rahtz is very much NOT a fan of the Arthurian legends like these that surround the place, which is a bummer because I think the legends are the most fun and that's why I went to visit Glastonbury myself, he still devotes time to mentioning them and other woo theories, including some woo theories that I hadn't heard about! I know about King Arthur and ley lines and Joseph of Arimathea, etc., but I did not know that in the early 1900s a wealthy artist also decided that the entire Zodiac was recreated in the topology around Glastonbury. What Rahtz says about her is probably my favorite quote in the entire book:

When Mrs. Maltwood died, she left a considerable sum of money to further the understanding of her ideas. The Trust which administers this has taken the liberal view that understanding of the Zodiac will be achieved only by a wider understanding of the archaeology of Somerset; to this end many grants have been made to archaeologists in the area (including the present author), for which we must be thankful.

Lol!

This is rivaled by my second-favorite anecdote, that of the director of excavation in the early 1900s (what was with the early 1900s and its woo?!?), F. Bligh Bond, who decided that archaeology probably wasn't as good of a way to get at the truth as sacred geometry and automatic writing guided by spirits would be. I mean, of course! He effed up a BUNCH of stuff before the Church of England finally got wind of his shenanigans and fired him. Rahtz sums up his biography this way:

In 1926 he went to America, where he lectured on Glastonbury, and on his psychic techniques concerning the 'Company of Avalon.' He returned to England in 1936, and died, very much alone, in North Wales in 1945.

I did some more reading up on Bond because he sounds so weird, but nowhere else have I seen the fact that he died "very much alone." Like... Rahtz, you got a bone to pick with this guy? He's already dead--you don't have to keep punching him!

The book ends with some excellent suggestions for further readings and a thorough bibliography, both of which I've picked through. I'm especially interested in the "Myth and Legend" sources that Rahtz gamely includes despite his abhorrence, and the Bond book entitled The Gate of Remembrance: A True Story of Psychic Archaeology. I want to see for myself what bonkers stuff he wrote via his spirit monk!

P.S. View all my reviews!

P.P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to random little towns, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Day 12 in England: It All Begins at Tintagel

 

It was definitely a Bank Holiday weekend! Breakfast was packed, and the hostess was freaking out. People kept trying to change up the combinations of their full English breakfast even though she admitted she had no way to keep their orders straight, and the Australian couple behind us kept making her go back and put more scoops of coffee in their coffee press, because "British coffee is weak."

Here's my dutifully complete full English breakfast, black pudding and all!

See my delicious orange juice? We kept sneaking back up to the community carafe for refills every time the hostess went into the kitchen to cry, so that she wouldn't be additionally distressed at how much we were hydrating. Everyone else in the restaurant barely touched the juice!

Here's the rest of our day:

• Tintagel Castle
• Dartmoor National Park
• Lyme Regis

Thanks to Matt attempting to ask for only ham, sausage and eggs for breakfast and therefore working the hostess into a dither, we didn't arrive at Tintagel right when it opened, and OMG it was crowded. We learned that not only was it the Bank Holiday Weekend we'd been hearing about, but also the next week was a nation-wide school holiday... we had lots of company everywhere we went for the rest of our trip! 

Much of the Tintagel site is on a headland whose access point to the mainland has mostly collapsed, so you walk across a beautiful pedestrian bridge towards the ruins of a 13th century castle built by the Earl of Cornwall:

There's the bridge connecting us to the mainland.

The tide was high during our visit, but during low tide you can explore the beach and walk into many of those caves: 

Some of us had a wonderful time exploring this headland, taking in the views and the vista and enjoying the height:

Others did not enjoy this, and huddled as far away from the views and the vista and the height as they could:

I'd been inspired to check out the logistics of this drive all the way to Cornwall solely because of its connection to Arthurian legend, which is one of the teenager's current Special Interests. In Le Morte d'Arthur, which we read together last semester (and in Geoffrey of Monmouth's History of the Kings of Britain, which we're going to start this week!), Arthur is conceived inside Tintagel Castle, where Igraine is hiding after Uther Pendragon takes a rapey liking to her. Igraine's husband Gorlois, Duke of Cornwall, got his wife the hell out of that party where Uther first noticed her, which pissed Uther off, so he used their departure without his permission as his excuse to wage war against Gorlois. 

While Gorlois was off fighting and Igraine was hiding, Merlin figured out a plan to get Uther inside Tintagel Castle so he could rape Igraine. His price: why, only their firstborn child, of course!

Uther had NO problem promising their firstborn child to a magician whose father was an incubus, so he was completely on board with Merlin's plan to magically disguise him as Gorlois. Wearing his Gorlois skin, Uther rode right up to the gates of Tintagel. His servants were shocked to see him, since he was supposed to be literally fighting a battle really far away at the moment. His wife was equally shocked, but Uther got his booty call.

He would have gotten away with it, too, except that the real Gorlois was actually right that second dying in battle...

Anyway, Igraine actually did come around to marrying Uther after her husband (and therefore all means of support and defense against a predatory, powerful king) died, and she, too, had no problem giving baby Arthur up to Merlin. Merlin sent Arthur to live with Muggles, and The Once and Future King is my favorite continuation of that story. 

This is the perfect spot, then, to pay our respects to the birth of the legend that's brought so much magic and beauty into my life:

Matt was so embarrassed to take this photo, lol, but the teenager and I were VERY into it! We're being real knights!

Also, cheese!

Also on the headland are the remains of a beautiful Medieval garden that the Earl of Cornwall may have had constructed to mimic the garden from the story of Tristan and Iseult. 

As you walk around the perimeter of the garden, stepping stones tell you the story:

After exploring the headland, we walked down the path--

--under the bridge--

--past the beach and Merlin's Cave, and then up the long, steep road back into Tintagel... and Cornish pasties!!!

This was our best meal of the entire trip. These Cornish pasties were DELICIOUS!!!

I wanted to be in Lyme Regis in time for the late afternoon low tide, but fortunately we had just enough wiggle room in our schedule for a quick drive and a short hike in Dartmoor National Park. 

The parking lot was teeny-tiny and tight, so the college student and I, the two who were the most revved up about hiking in Dartmoor, bailed and started our hike while Matt waited in the car in case anyone left the lot and he could squeeze in. The disinterested teen stayed with him, and to be honest, we didn't expect to see them at ALL. Imagine our surprise, then, when we saw these two figures on the horizon!

We were technically hiking towards Scorhill Stone Circle, but there wasn't any signage or really any paths, so what we actually did was wander up towards Hound Tor and simply admire the endless moor all around us. Here's a nice rock, though!

People live in Dartmoor National Park, as well, and our walk back abutted someone's sheep field and this very old wall to demarcate it:

Driving through Dartmoor National Park was some of our most terrifying driving yet. And it wasn't even the sheep that were often snoozing in the middle of the road, because we were only going about 5mph so we had plenty of time to stop for them.

Instead, it was THIS!

This is not a road. This is a HEDGE MAZE!

It is a single car-width hedge maze, complete with all the twists and turns that make it impossible to see what's coming from the other direction.

Fortunately, the one time we did encounter a car, we were near enough to someone's gate that Matt could back up, squeeze over against it, and the opposing car could squeeze up against the hedges on their side and creep past. I have NO idea what you're supposed to do if a car wants to pass you here:

At least it made the highways after Dartmoor National Park seem less terrifying by comparison!

We made it to our hotel in Beer with just enough time for us to throw our bags in our rooms and for some of us to head right back out again (others of us took that time to catch up on their socials and pretend like we don't exist). We were going to be in this area for two low tides, and I didn't want to miss a single second of either of them!

We weren't exactly fossil hunting at a Mary Anning level, ahem, but we did find plenty of pretties to weigh down our luggage and distress airport security:

And here are some huge pieces that we admired on our walk:

We got back to Beer around 7:00 to discover that although the town was HOPPING with vacationers, there was absolutely no food to be found. The pubs were overflowing and were all serving drinks only at that point, no food whatsoever. Matt walked around and checked a couple out while the teenager and I hung out on a bench and did some people-watching. The best thing we saw was a group of about four drunk guys, walking down the middle of the road with their arms around each other, singing "We are the cheeky lads!" When we travel, we're always on the lookout for local color, lol!

And that's how we all ended up back in our hotel, bingeing a reality show about people who vacation in caravan parks and supping on only slightly smushed crisps and chocolate bars from our bag of road snacks. 

• Day 1: We made it to England!
• Day 2: Westminster Abbey, National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, and Six
• Day 3: British Museum and Buckingham Palace
• Day 4: Mudlarks and Southwark
• Day 5: Natural History Museum and Victoria and Albert Museum
• Day 6: Pax Lodge, the Tower of London, and Afternoon Tea
• Day 7: Back and Forth by Boat to Greenwich
• Day 8: We Careen Our Way to Canterbury Cathedral and Dover Beach
• Day 9: Dover, Hastings, and a Holloway
• Day 10, Part 1: All the Giant Rocks
• Day 10, Part 2: Stonehenge, At Last!
• Day 11: To Avalon with King Arthur
• Day 12: Tintagel
• Day 13: In the Footsteps of Mary Anning
• Day 14: Homewards!

Day 11 in England: To Avalon with King Arthur

With the whole of Le Morte d'Arthur under our belts, the teenager and I were especially excited for our day at Glastonbury, also known as Avalon, burial site of Arthurus, Rex Quondam Rexque Futurus. 

But first a Full English, then a bit of time exploring THE most epic creation in all of England:

Mini Stonehenge!

Here's our full day:

• Glastonbury Abbey
• Glastonbury Tor
• window shopping in Glastonbury
• drive the long drive to Devon

We needed emergency crisps and biscuits and Cadbury bars for our long afternoon drive later, so we stopped by a Tesco Express on our way out of Salisbury and the college student found that our favorite biscuit, Jaffa Cakes (or are they a cake? I feel like England has a Whole Thing about biscuits vs. cakes), also sells something called a Jonut. And it. Is. Delicious!

I am currently very sad that my mouth is not full of Jonuts, Cadbury with Popping Jellies, and scones with clotted cream.

With Matt's three full days of driving experience by this time, we didn't actually do too badly in the narrow streets of Glastonbury, especially considering that window shopping along High St. later, we would see SO many near-accidents and drivers screaming at each other. 

Fortunately, we were able to avoid driving on High St.! Apparently the hippies wake up kind of late, because there was plenty of parking available in the one public lot near the center of town, and from there it was just a short walk to Glastonbury Abbey.

The history of archaeological excavations at Glastonbury Abbey is very checkered--the first archaeologist was also a spiritualist who believed that the dead spoke to the living, and he included some architectural features in his site maps that he hadn't actually found... but it was fine, because a spirit had used automatic writing to tell him it was there!

Ahem.

So there's a lot still not understood about Glastonbury Abbey and its history of occupation, but the museum did have some cool artifacts:

These cool artifacts include some contemporary ones, as the museum also displayed stuff they found during a recent dredging of the pond on their site:

And, of course, it had the obligatory several shelves of used books for sale!

I wish now that I'd purchased that Misty Copeland memoir and the A to Z Atlas of London and Suburbs.

Then, out the door to explore!

You know we love our architectural ruins! This is the Lady Chapel, supposedly sited on top of an even earlier "Old Church." There are glass walkways that allow you to cross the ruins at height, and stairs that give you access to the lower levels. Grass and flowers grow on the tops of the stones and in the cracks in the walls.

I love how they arranged site access so you can see and explore these formerly underground areas.

This site was fun to research with the kids, because it is VERY steeped in the spiritual/mystical woo of Glastonbury. I didn't buy the map of ley lines that I saw in one of the High St. shops (a fact that I actually super regret now...), but apparently we're just walking right over all kinds of crossing ley lines here!

Just east of the Lady Chapel is the Great Church, dating from around 1230:

Once upon a time, it was the second largest church in England, but during its construction it fell on hard times and upkeep and renovations got too expensive. Fortunately, monks discovered that King Arthur and Queen Guinevere, long associated with the area by legend, were actually buried on the property! Yay! The monks got tons of money after that, they were able to finish building the church, and they reburied Arthurus Rex in the middle of the Great Church:

We walked around the grounds of the old abbey, exploring the space and admiring the views--

Here's where King Arthur's grave was discovered!

The site also has a surviving plant from two thorn trees that used to grow on a nearby hill. They were seen as holy thorns, possibly originating from the staff of Joseph of Arimathea, who local legend has it possibly visited here with a little lad Jesus back in the day. The Puritans, being religious extremists, cut down those original thorn trees, but lots of local gardeners had their own cuttings, and this tree is said to be from one of them:

There was a shuttle from the nearby visitor center to the base of Glastonbury Tor, but it only took cash, alas, so after exploring the abbey grounds, we walked the 1.3 miles from the abbey to the tor, uphill all the way:

The path is that way!

The pedestrian footpath was actually really nice, ranging along wooded paths and through gates that led us across fields and under arches of overhanging ancient trees:

Getting closer!

This was a HARD fucking hike, and my asshole family left me completely in the dust:

There's no place to sit and rest other than in the nettles next to the path, no place to really make it easy to pass someone who's slowly huffing their way upwards, and behind me as I slowly huffed were at least a dozen various UK vacationers taking their kids up the tor for a Saturday afternoon picnic. Not only was I about to die of a myocardial infarction, but I had to keep up my pace so as not to inconvenience the people following me. Also, my face gets REALLY red when I'm hot. Like, REALLY really red, so a couple of times total strangers asked me if I was well. 

I finally made it, quietly weeping and absolutely beside myself with embarrassment and exhaustion. 

But look at that view!

Check out these rats who left me to die, hanging out as happy as clams without me:

To get back to the abbey, you just do the trek in reverse:

But fortunately the ice cream truck at the base of the tor DOES take credit!

It's also much easier to enjoy how pretty the walk is when I'm walking downhill:

We spent most of the rest of the afternoon window shopping along High Street, where they have SO many awesomely woo stores. I particularly liked The Coven, White Rabbit, Goddess and the Green Man, and Speaking Tree, but there were so many little shops with tarot cards, dragon statues, sword letter openers, needle felted goddesses, etc., interspersed with hippies on the street giving away free hugs and trying to sell beaded necklaces. 

We bought sandwiches and crisps from a little co-op grocery, ate them near another thorn tree on the grounds of St. John the Baptist Church, then hopped back in the car for a quick two-hour drive to the sea. 

We landed in an inn in Instow, which on this Saturday before a Bank Holiday Monday was HOPPING! The whole town was bonkers crowded. Matt had to drop us off and park a mile away at a cricket club, then he and I hung out downstairs in the pub chaos for a while before our proper dinner:

Our rooms above the pub didn't have any air conditioning, so we had to leave our windows open (also no screens--does England not have rabid bats?) to the noise below, including a live band. I really wanted my sleep, but it *was* pretty magical to be lying in bed, reading my surfer memoir--

--and listening to the magic that is every single person in the pub below me loudly singing the lyrics to an Oasis song:

I think it's the most British thing I experienced on this entire trip!

• Day 1: We made it to England!
• Day 2: Westminster Abbey, National Gallery, Trafalgar Square, and Six
• Day 3: British Museum and Buckingham Palace
• Day 4: Mudlarks and Southwark
• Day 5: Natural History Museum and Victoria and Albert Museum
• Day 6: Pax Lodge, the Tower of London, and Afternoon Tea
• Day 7: Back and Forth by Boat to Greenwich
• Day 8: We Careen Our Way to Canterbury Cathedral and Dover Beach
• Day 9: Dover, Hastings, and a Holloway
• Day 10, Part 1: All the Giant Rocks
• Day 10, Part 2: Stonehenge, At Last!
• Day 11: To Avalon with King Arthur
• Day 12: Tintagel
• Day 13: In the Footsteps of Mary Anning
• Day 14: Homewards!