To Philadelphia and Back in 22 Hours

How are we already here again? Two years ago exactly, my older kid and I were on a whirlwind tour to see one last college before she made up her mind about where she was going to go to school. 

That feels so long ago, but also like it was yesterday, you know? That kid I took on her last college tour before Decision Day was still a kid. Just two years later she's still my baby, but she's no longer a child. She finished growing up there at college when I wasn't there to see it.

Now I'm supporting my younger kid as she makes the same kind of agonizing decision, and she's simultaneously the most grown-up, confident, sophisticated human I've ever had the privilege to know and also my precious four-year-old in a thrifted velvet dress, butterfly wings strapped to her back, mashing dandelion flowers into a pretend pie in her backyard mud kitchen.

How can I let that tiny little sprite out of my sight, much less drop her off and leave her at a college 700 miles away? Wasn't it just last week that she sat on Santa's lap and told him that she wanted a kitten for Christmas?

How about we just try not to think that far ahead for a bit. Let's just think about not forgetting where in this massive Economy Lot we're leaving the damn car:

Then we'll just think about the following:

• airport security
• napping during the flight
• finding the SEPTA station at the Philadelphia International Airport and buying rail tickets for later (the station in the college town apparently doesn't have its own ticket kiosk? Because... reasons?)
• booking and riding in my very first Lyft (super smooth process, but our driver did treat us to an anti-Philadelphia screed while also spurning the highway in favor of only surface streets, making the ride take so long that the Lyft app sent me a push notification asking if I was okay or was I in peril)
• getting dropped off at the campus gates and then immediately hoofing it to the nearest Starbucks for caffeine and a breakfast wrap
• taking one sip of my chocolate cream cold brew and realizing as soon as the stimulant hit my brain that we were about to be late for the Welcome event
• hoofing it back to campus at double-speed

And then, of course, exploring this beautiful college campus and learning about the school and meeting some students and staff and watching my kid make friends with the other kids on the tour. 

This school has a literal cloister why?

The kid is more of a sucker for the Collegiate Gothic architectural style than I am. Who wouldn't want to have class inside a castle?

Just between us, and knowing what y'all know about this kid, I'm pretty sure the fact that this school is basically a poorly-disguised cult for worshipping Athena is its biggest draw for her...

Statue of Athena, at which the students leave offerings. Tell me it's not a cult.

When we were given a little free time, the kid and I OBVIOUSLY beelined straight to the library. College libraries are some of my favorite campus buildings to explore!

Check out the original statue of Athena up high where students from the rival college can't reach her, and also plaster casts taken from the genuine Parthenon metopes on display at the British Museum. I'm just gonna leave this right here.

So envious that they have a whole room of puzzles! They also have a craft club with its own permanent, dedicated studio and an art club, also with its own permanent, dedicated studio. 

I read this book in grad school!

I'm telling you, the owl iconography is INTENSE. I kind of wanted to ask how this impacted their enrollment of students from certain Native American nations, but I'd already asked soooo many weird questions that I felt I should probably leave some weird questions for other people to ask.

Tell me that this is not a shocking number of owls, though?!?

I am SO glad that I'm not seventeen years old and trying to figure out where I want to go to college. The amazing choices that she has are a blessing, a luxury, and a direct result of the hard work this kid has done and the phenomenal person she is, but it's also an awful burden to have to decide.

Let's spend the next few hours not thinking about it, and instead thinking about how to navigate the SEPTA system, especially because Jefferson Station booted us out into a shopping mall with no discernible exit, and it took us at least 20 minutes to find our way out to the street. Also, while I was standing at one of the big maps and figuring out our route, a kind stranger came over to gently point out that I was tracing the trolley line and not the rail line. Because apparently Philadelphia also has trolleys!

I'd wanted to see Chinatown, browse a couple of bookstores, walk around the Independence sites, etc., and we had plenty of time to do that, but I'd neglected to take into account that by the time we got downtown we'd have been up and at 'em for approximately 14 hours, and shockingly for me when confronted with a tourist site, I was starting to fade.

Imagine! ME!!! Forgetting to so much as take a snapshot of the Chinatown Gate as we walked under it! Unwilling to walk a few extra blocks over to the bookstore I'd Pinned! Too tired to make the extra effort to take a close-up photo of Independence Hall!

Not even the facts of my own exhausted near-tears and the kid who dances on pointe six days a week admitting that her feet hurt could stop me from paying my respects to Ben, Deborah, and Francis Franklin, though:

That was the last tourist thing we did, though. After that we trudged straight back to Jefferson Station, caught the train back to the airport, did the whole security theatre dance number one more time, and collapsed at our gate, where the kid proceeded to sleep as soundly as if she'd been in her bed back home for the remaining two hours until our flight.

I, on the other hand, finished my book (Peter Darling), started another (Beartown), and discovered that, gasp, the Philadelphia International Airport only stocks Pepsi products?!? NOOO!!! Mama needs her Diet Sprite!

I reluctantly nursed my... Starry? WTF is a STARRY?!?... and made it last until we got back to our home airport, at which point I'd forgotten that I'd even taken a photo of our parking spot. Thank goodness for the teenager, who just flat-out remembered where we parked in her head, and who loudly sang our personal mash-up of "Party Rock Anthem," "California Girls," and the entire Percy Jackson musical with me to keep me awake for the drive home. 

I want her to go to absolutely the BEST college, y'all, and also I never want her to leave my side for a second. 

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

The Most Comprehensive Solar Eclipse Unity Study for Homeschoolers

Because if there is one thing that I am great at after homeschooling for 14 years, it is making a comprehensive unit study for homeschoolers!

My favorite thing about creating a unit study around an upcoming event is that the entire world becomes your hype man. Kids pick up on how excited everyone is about the eclipse, and learning more about it becomes just another way to engage with that excitement, mwa-ha-ha! 

What you see before you is THE most comprehensive solar eclipse unit study for homeschoolers. Almost all of it can be leveled up and down, usually just about simultaneously so you can work with your kids of different ages together. Pick and choose what you've got the time and materials for, interspersing activities you know your kids will love with activities that will stretch their skills and interests a little. 

Anchor Charts, Infographics, and Other Decorations

Because when you homeschool, even your decorations are educational!

solar eclipse bunting. Sew this from stash fabric and upcycled blue jeans. 

free printable easy reader book. If you've got a kid on the cusp of independent reading, you know the pain of keeping them in those teensy books! There can never be enough! Well, here's one more!

image credit: NASA/Tyler Nordgren

NASA posters and graphics. This poster is a good US Geography resource for a middle-grade kid to use to trace the eclipse's path on a map. The back of this poster is an excellent anchor chart to use with any age to inspire further research.

printable map of the Moon. Use this with binoculars or a telescope to identify the Moon's features, or simply display it because it's pretty!

solar eclipse diagrams. They're a little dry, which in my home makes them perfect for taping to the wall directly facing the toilet in the kids' bathroom. Ahem.

April 8 Eclipse Activities

Do these activities during the partial phase of the eclipse.

Are your eclipse glasses safe? Okay, do this one BEFORE April 8! My town is getting a total solar eclipse, and so eclipse glasses are EVERYWHERE right now. I love that, but I do NOT love how I've seen some of those glasses being stored and handled by the places offering them. PRETTY PLEASE triple-check your eclipse glasses well before the eclipse, have extras on hand in case of accidents, and store them so super carefully to keep them from scratches. 

Eclipse Soundscapes project. This Citizen Science project is a great way to encourage all ages to be mindful and present during the eclipse, as well as to document their observations. If you don't want to do something this formal, you can simply talk about being observant with all the senses during the eclipse, then have kids write--ideally the same day!--about the eclipse using as much multi-sensory detail as possible. Younger kids can draw their observations and impressions.

GLOBE Eclipse Citizen Science Project. If you're in a country that will experience the eclipse, you can use the GLOBE Observer app to record observations and meteorological measurements during the eclipse. Elementary kids can do this with family help, while middle and high schoolers can work more independently. For a longer meteorology study, use the GLOBE Observer app regularly. This project would work as a lab for a high schooler wanting to study Astronomy and earn a Lab Science credit on their high school transcript.

pinhole camera image via NASA Jet Propulsion Laboratory

pinhole projector. This NASA one is a little overengineered, but the experiment they suggest would keep younger kids busy and engaged during the partial phase of the eclipse. Here's a more basic one that's more than sufficient for your purpose--my kids have made this kind, and it works great!

Art and Craft Projects

Because if you're not doing a weird and unwieldy craft project, are you even homeschoolers?

image credit: xkcd

Aztec Sun Stone drawings. This slightly guided, mostly creative art project is a sun-themed craft that works with a history/geography study of the Aztec people. If you didn't want to dedicate a huge amount of time to the study (but you still wanted that cute sun craft for eclipse decor!), you could get away with reading a couple of picture books or documentary clips, as long as the importance of the Sun Stone was covered.

chalk and construction paper solar eclipse. The easiest and best model that a kid can make of a solar eclipse is also the cheapest! I'm trusting you as a homeschooler to have chalk and construction paper in your house.

coffee filter partial eclipse. I wouldn't go purchasing a set of coffee filters just for this project, but if you've already got them on hand, go for it! Add some more interest and sensory art experience by having the kids color the filter not with crayon, but with washable marker, then let them drip water from an eyedropper to watch the ink bleed. 

cupcakes. This is the easiest and cutest eclipse treat I've seen yet, and it's pretty accurate-looking, too! Even young kids can help with these, and older kids can simply up the independence-level, and/or bake the cupcakes completely from scratch.

glow-in-the-dark solar eclipse T-shirt. Because who doesn't love an excuse to play with glow-in-the-dark paint?

moon map for coloring. My kids had SO MUCH FUN one week when I printed and assembled this Moon map, taped it to my wall, and invited them to color on it with markers. 

mosaic sundial image via Marvelously Messy

mosaic sundial. You can incorporate this into the sundial lesson in the Astronomy section, below, but especially if you've got younger homeschoolers, it's totally okay to just make this simple (but beautiful!) sundial together as a family and have a fun summer exploring how it works. Learning how to mosaic is actually a surprisingly accessible skill even for younger kids, and you might find yourself with a whole new Mosaic Special Interest.

solar eclipse cake. Marshmallow fondant is shockingly easy to make, so other than the difficulty coloring it (I've never found a good black food coloring, so tbh I'll probably just buy some pre-dyed fondant), this entire cake is dead easy. My teenager and I are going to make this for our own solar eclipse guests, but I'll probably do a Victoria sandwich and skip the habanero...

solar eclipse sandwich. Even younger kids should be able to make this eclipse sandwich layout mostly independently, and it's a great way to encourage them to try a couple of perhaps new-to-them foods. 

Sun, Moon, and Earth masks. Get out the cardboard and the paints to make these giant masks with the kids... then send them outside to chase each other in them!

total eclipse tostadas. My kids LOVE themed meals! We'd make an entire spread of eclipse-themed food and then eat it while watching a nerdy NASA documentary.

Astronomy Activities, Crafts, Games, and Resources

This time period around the eclipse is the BEST time to get a kid excited about astronomy, not to mention make memories of this special, once-in-a-homeschool-education opportunity.

cookie Solar System. If you're learning about the Moon and the Sun, you might as well learn about the entire Solar System! This activity is suitable for preschoolers through high schoolers, with scaffolding for younger kids and more detail, creativity, and independent calculations and research encouraged in older kids.

If they're not doing science with dirty fingernails, how do you know they're homeschoolers?

Investigating prisms. This is a great time to dive into everything sunlight. The youngest homeschoolers can enjoy process-oriented, experiential play with prisms, while older kids can start to learn about the science of light refraction. Middle schoolers can develop their own experiment, and high schoolers can write that experiment up in the Astronomy Lab Notebooks for a lab science credit in their transcripts.

Moon journal. The most educational way is to have kids make their own from scratch by tracing a bottle cap into their observation journal or onto a piece of paper, but here's a printable template if you'd rather have a leg up. Have them sketch the Moon's phase every night and record the date, time, and weather. Incorporate a simple meteorology study by also having a kid record the temperature, air pressure, wind speed, etc. Kids can make DIY versions of all those measuring tools, or you could splurge on a simple weather monitoring tool.. or a fancy one!

paper telescope models. These paper models are quite fiddly, so I wouldn't even offer them to anyone other than the craftiest of high schoolers. My kid was practically born with a craft knife in her hand, and even SHE found them tricky! But if you've got a mechanically-minded kid who's very interested in the instruments of astronomical observation and exploration, it can be worth even making these yourself so that they can have a tactile representation of these instruments. The models aren't so delicate that younger kids couldn't incorporate them into their small-world play.

phases of the Moon demonstration and model. THIS is how you teach the phases of the Moon to kids of every age! The Oreo model is just for fun, but the prospect of making it is very good incentive to attend to the lesson, ahem. And here's a similar worksheet to keep them busy during their sibling's gymnastics lesson...

phases of the Moon flip book. Here's another great way to give kids an understanding of how the Moon waxes and wanes, especially if you can bring them outside regularly to watch it happen for themselves. You can make this flip book for the youngest kids to enjoy, but kids even a little older can help with assembly, and even older kids can use this as a jumping-off point for a flip book or animation study. My younger kid went through a HUGE DIY flip book phase when she was little!

Planet Hunters TESS Citizen Science Project. High schoolers can help scientists discover exoplanets by analyzing images from the TESS mission to look for eclipses of other stars. The project is technically complete as of right now, but does expect to obtain more data to analyze. This would work as a lab for a high schooler wanting to study Astronomy and earn a Lab Science credit on their high school transcript.

sidewalk chalk Solar System model. In the lead-up to the 2017 eclipse, my kids researched each planet and drew its picture on a labeled index card, then taped the cards to popsicle sticks. One beautiful afternoon, we headed out on our straight city-wide walking trail and we measured and placed the planets in their correct spots along the trail. It was just as fun walking back to the car, because instead of being tired and cranky, the kids kept racing ahead to find and reclaim their planets! SUCH a good way to reinforce a sensorial understanding of measurement AND astronomy!

solar eclipse foldables. For those whose kids love lapbooks and mini books, I've got you! These fill-in-the-blank infographics are also helpful for kids to use as illustrations when they write paragraphs or essays about the eclipse. This mini book is better for younger kids, who can sneak in a little scissors practice, too, mwa-ha-ha!

Solar Jet Hunter Citizen Science Project. High schoolers look for and mark solar jets to help scientists understand this phenomenon. This would work as a lab for a high schooler wanting to study Astronomy and earn a Lab Science credit on their high school transcript.

Solar oven. Even the littlest homeschoolers can help make a solar oven that will melt a s'more! Add a hot dog solar oven for a complete camping meal. Don't do this pizza box oven, though, because it's kind of crap. Older kids can do their own experimentation and engineering, and if you're really serious about it, you can invest some time and money into making an absolutely superb solar oven that will properly cook food.

sundials. Shadows are an accessible way to introduce any age of homeschooler to a study of the Sun, and kids who are studying shadows LOVE to make sundials! There are a million ways to make a sundial, from the preschooler-friendly to these more sophisticated papercrafts. 

Sungrazer Citizen Science Project. This project is for high schoolers or very interested middle schoolers. In it, you scan through images of the Sun taken by the SOHO Observatory, looking for previously undiscovered comets! This would work as a lab for a high schooler wanting to study Astronomy and earn a Lab Science credit on their high school transcript.

Sun prints. All you need is a pack of cyanotype paper to make the coolest prints and shadow art! When we did that set above, way back in preparation for the 2017 eclipse, we were all fascinated by the way the sun print plus the shadow print of the rectangular prism made a perfect cube on the paper. If your kids (or you!) are extra crafty, you can even buy cyanotype FABRIC! To add some academic rigor, combine sun prints with this free worksheet set. 

word searches. I recently reintroduced word searches to my Girl Scout troop, and they were all super into them! I feel like we as a people don't do enough analog puzzles these days, sigh. Here's a pre-made set of word searches, but you can also have kids make their own with graph paper as a template. 

History, Geography, and Social Studies Activities, Crafts, Games, and Resources

Learn about the cultural significance of eclipses around the world and throughout time.

Again with those dirty fingernails! I'm pretty sure that was the year that I put a nail brush in her Easter basket...

gingerbread Stonehenge. This is a delicious way to study ancient astronomy and the importance of the Sun to our ancestors. To be sure, it's not the most academically rigorous project, but it makes a fun capstone to a short unit on Stonehenge and its astronomical purpose.

track the path of the eclipse. Make, print, or buy a line map of the United States, then help kids use their resources to trace the path of the eclipse. Depending on the kids' interest levels, this can be the spine for an entire US geography study.

Video of Navajo and Cherokee teachings. It's probably a little too dry for the youngest homeschoolers, but if you engage with the video along with your kids you could make it fun for kids who are a little older, and middle and high school kids ought to be fine.

 

 

Cool Stuff to Buy

If you've got a little extra room in your homeschool budget, splash out with these educational materials that will encourage and expand your kids' interest.

• glass prism set. Younger kids can spend years playing with these, exploring rainbows and shadows and angles and light. Now that my kids are grown (sob), I've made little macrame hangers to put them in all my sunny windows so I can still enjoy them!
• planet stickers. My kids loved these even into high school! I let them place them (in planet order, of course!) on the wall of our long front hallway, and it's a decoration that we still all enjoy. I mean, if you don't have giant stickers of all the planets in order in your front hallway, how will your guests know that you're homeschoolers?
• Moon sticker. We had to put this in a different room from the planet stickers, obviously, because otherwise the scale would be wrong.
• star stickers. Kids do not seem to know about star stickers these days, because every kid I've ever showed them to has been SO EXCITED--especially when I explain that they go on your bedroom ceiling! My own homeschooler, as a high schooler studying astronomy, actually used star stickers to put all the major constellations all over the walls and ceilings of our entire house. It's kind of my favorite thing!
• sunprint paper. Explore shadows or make awesome art.

Okay, that basically encompasses everything that a homeschooler needs to know about eclipses! My kids wouldn't even tell you that they particularly love astronomy, but I know that our eclipse units have been among our all-time favorite homeschool studies. I mean, we got to watch these amazing astronomical occurrences FOR SCHOOL!

Your kids are going to love these activities, too.

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Homeschool High School Honors World History: DIY Art History Artwork Cards

The teenager's Honors World History: Ancient Times course uses an AP World History textbook, a college-level art history textbook, and all the other additional resources you'd want in order to flesh the study of ancient history out into a full-year high school honors course.

Among the other many resources I've compiled and DIYed for this study, one of my favorites is the new set of DIY artwork cards that I prepare for every new chapter of Gardner's Art through the Ages, which in turn I've keyed to the relevant chapter(s) in Duiker's World History. 

Artwork cards are a major component of a couple of different pedagogical approaches to homeschooling, and you CAN buy sets of them--Memoria Press is generally considered to have the nicest, if you're in the market. But if you buy sets of them you're not going to get exactly the artworks that you want in the sizes that you want, and depending on where you buy them, copyright can be an issue. 

Another option, one that I also use, is buying museum gift shop postcards. I LOVE my sets of artwork postcards, and it's nice because they're always high-quality, I know they're not pirated, and I didn't have to do any of the work of sourcing, printing, and cutting out the images. But they're hard to buy online, and they're pricey! I would NOT have the collection of artwork cards that I do if I was paying a buck-plus for each of them. I mean, geez, my kid is going through twenty or so of these cards per chapter in just her current study! And that's not even counting the separate political art or history of photography studies that we've completed fairly recently, yikes.

So you've got options, but if you want the highest-quality, cheapest, most bespoke sets of artwork cards, you probably want to DIY them like I do. 

Step 1: Go through the study materials and select the images you require. 

I always pre-read the kid's textbook chapters so that I can collect additional resources and set up extension activities anyway, so while I'm reading her art history textbook I also note the artworks that are referred to in that chapter. Occasionally, there are also a couple that her history textbook refers to that the art history textbook doesn't, or I might want to collect different types of images referenced there, like the cuneiform tablets from the Mesopotamia chapter, or the Neolithic stoneworks from the Ancient Great Britain section. 

Step 2: Find the images online and save them.

There are three ways to find good images online. First is just to do a Google Image search and filter the results for Large images:

This is a screenshot from when I was collecting images for our History of Photography study, but the process is identical.

You'll often come across pirated images this way, but you're not using your images commercially, so I'll allow it, ahem. 

Another good way is a Wikipedia search, especially for more iconic artworks. You won't get any pirated images here, but you WILL get some lower-quality images, as many will be photos that contributors took themselves of the artworks in their museum settings. 

And then ANOTHER good way is to go directly to the website of the museum that hosts a particular artwork. A lot of museums do offer free downloads of digital images of many of their artworks. My special favorite is the British Museum, which will often let me download an image so high-quality that I can print it life-sized--I've done that for both the Rosetta stone and for several cuneiform and hieroglyphic pieces, and it's so cool and useful for detailed study! 

Here's one list of museums that offer open-source images, but it's definitely not comprehensive because the British Museum isn't even on it. 

Here's the British Museum's image site; I usually download or request the super-high-quality images, because why not! Wouldn't some large-scale Greek vase images look so awesome framed and displayed in my future Life of Theseus-themed bathroom?

Here's the Metropolitan Museum of Art's image site. I like that if you're not looking for a specific artwork, but rather a time period or style, you can filter your results by open-access so that everything you see is obtainable.

The National Gallery's image site provides open-access images and also provides many of the Wikimedia images. 

Here's the National Trust images site. Only some of these images are free, but there are images that work very well with British history and geography studies. 

The Smithsonian's image site pulls from all its museums and holdings across genres, so it's a great resource not just for art, but also historical artifacts and even primary sources. 

Step 3: Print and cut.

I prefer to print my images with a laser printer onto cardstock, because I want them to look and feel nice. To make the artwork cards a standard size, I print them four to a page--

--then cut them on a guillotine paper cutter:

I label the back with title, artist, date, and, for these art history cards, geographic location, and currently I have them filed by textbook chapter.

My teenager is also keeping a comprehensive ancient history timeline, so I print another set of these images as thumbnails onto regular copy paper, and then she glues them into her timeline and labels them. 

Okay, so how do you actually USE these artwork cards? There are so many ways!

• Flash cards. Memorize the artwork, title, artist, date, and geographic location to add to one's working knowledge of art history. Having a ton of artworks memorized will make it easier for you to slot future pieces into your memory, and allow you to build context and make better comparisons/contrasts, add to your understanding of social history, and write some kick-ass essays, etc.
• Sort and organize. Having these visuals at hand allows you to easily make comparisons about style and other features of artworks that may be less noticeable when each image is trapped in the pages of a specific chapter of your textbook. How do the early Native American earthworks compare to Neolithic European ones? How does portraiture vary, and how would you sort portraits stylistically when the images are separated from geohistorical context? 
• Order chronologically. We play a lot of history card games in which we have to try to put something in chronological order. We have almost all of these Timeline games, but you can play the same game with art, and not only is it interesting, but it builds a chronological understanding of art on a sensory level.
• Display. Once upon a time, a worker who was doing emergency repairs on our old, poorly-maintained, homeowner's special home came out of the kids' bathroom after installing a new toilet and asked me if I homeschooled. I was all, "Yes?" I thought it was the weirdest, most random thing for someone to figure out about me with zero evidence! But when I told this story to the kids later, they were immediately all like, "Um, it's because you tape educational posters to the wall facing the toilet?" Because riiiiight... when I want the kids to memorize something but I don't want to go through the emotional torment of MAKING them memorize something, I just print that thing out onto 8.5"x11" paper and tape it to the wall facing their toilet. I also once put tape onto ALL our things and made the kids label them in French and that's all still around, and every once in a while I printed out and assembled a giant line map of someplace we were studying, made them label that, too, and then hung it in the hallway until I was ready to make them study some other place. I also use pushpins to make little clotheslines across our bookshelves and I have the kids clothespin these art cards to them, and sometimes I'll display them on our magnet boards. I thought I was being sneaky like this, but apparently I wasn't, lol!

I should probably act like, since these images cost only the amount of the paper and the ink, and they're just cardstock, I'll recycle them when my last homeschooling kid graduates in a couple of months, but you know I won't. I won't have the kids to label me new giant maps for the hallway, so perhaps I'll retire them all permanently on display there!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Kid-Free in New York City: Day 2 is When Dreams Come True!

We woke up to SNOW!!!!!!!

It was the perfect magical winter morning in New York City. I think the schoolkids even had a snow day? Happily, all the museums and other assorted tourist destinations stayed open, so after a breakfast of cold pizza, my partner and I bundled into our typical February midwestern outdoor gear and headed out into the magic.

Here in the elevator is when I finally got tipped off enough to Google our hotel and figure out that we were sleeping in a Republican stronghold:

I'm trying to visualize what a Republican women's Galentine Dinner even looks like, but to be honest I don't really know what a regular Galentine Dinner looks like, either, sooo...

Republican stronghold or not, our hotel was SO conveniently located! Just a couple of blocks walking through the snow, and here we are at the MOMA:

I'm not really an art aficionado, shame on me, so I mostly wanted to look at the famous stuff:

I was SUPER excited to see my pal Frida, though!

And words cannot describe my excitement when I saw THIS crowd:

What are they looking at, you ask? Why, none other than my old nemesis, Mr. Starry Night!

This 2,000-piece Starry Night puzzle and I have been locked in battle since early December.

It's an absolutely terrible puzzle, a miserable experience all around, ridiculously hard AND with pieces so poorly cut that they will fit in places they aren't supposed to be, and I tell it all the time that Vincent Van Gogh would be ashamed of how unpleasant it's being to me.

Fortunately, its real-life counterpart is delightful:

Also, I think the real-life Starry Night is actually smaller than my puzzle at home? Weird. 

I wish I had a 2,000-piece puzzle of THIS Van Gogh painting! I'm obsessed with it. It randomly feels like an illustration of some kind of Lovecraftian abomination--I keep seeing that curly beard as squid tentacles, and I don't know why, but I love it. 

Fortunately, my partner has a proper appreciation of art, although I absolutely saw him get chided by a docent for standing too close to one of the paintings. He says he was looking at the artist's brushstrokes, and I believe him, because unlike me he does not have intrusive thoughts that encourage him to maybe just lick the painting a little bit.

But don't worry--I didn't even lick the Mondrian, even though it's such a pretty red!

Nobody could lick the Monet, because they had a barrier up. It's so big, though, that how would you even decide where to put your tongue?

Warhol is surprisingly unlickable, even though he's literally painting food. It think it's probably because most of these soups sound disgusting. 

Pollack, on the other hand, is VERY lickable:

My self-control really won out, because not only did I not lick the art, but I also did not buy a hundred books in the gift shop. Instead, I sneakily and guiltily took photos of the ones I want so I could request them from the library when I got home. That big biography is actually already on hold for me!

After I'd seen all the stereotypical must-sees, my partner dragged me off to experience the proper modern art:

The giant stacked cubes didn't do anything for me, but fine, I DID love the giant hanging stuffed animal sculptures. My old Grumpy Bear is definitely there in that blue sphere:

After most of the day at the art museum, we'd built up sufficient good culture credit so we could, with clear consciences, then go do what is possibly the cheeziest, corniest, hokiest thing you can possibly do in New York City:

If you don't go to Ellen's Stardust Diner to eat overpriced food, drink overpriced (but healthily strong!) cocktails, and watch the waitstaff sing Broadway karaoke, then are you even a New York City tourist?!?

WE are PROPER New York City tourists!!!

The kids would have HAAAAATED it. There's a non-zero chance the college kid would have cried, because she's done that when less embarrassing things have happened in restaurants. The teenager would have never willingly left the house with me ever again. I had an absolutely astounding amount of fun.

Since we're already being corny, might as well take another swing through Times Square!

Okay, actually THIS might be the corniest thing we did in New York City, but when we were there last, every time we walked through Times Square, I swear there was an actual line out the door and around the block consisting of tourists waiting to get into the M&M store. This time, there was no line and we had a little time to kill, so in we went to wander:

And yes, I WAS tempted by the Pride merch. They might even have gotten me if they'd said that they were donating any part of their proceeds to any LGBTQIA+ organizations, because that sweater with the rainbow neckline is randomly very cute?

Saved by corporate greed!

I finally could not stand the suspense anymore, and we walked over to stand in line underneath the most glorious marquee in New York City:

I was so excited that I was about to cycle right around into a panic attack, but thankfully the line started moving and before I could freak out further, somehow I'd found myself in the third row center of the Walter Kerr Theater, holding an honest-to-god playbill and looking at the honest-to-god Hadestown set:

I sent this photo to the kids with the caption "!!!!", and got a serious of supportive exclamation points and keyboard smashes back. Daughters are the greatest gift a person could have.

Y'all, I was so excited at where I was that I did not even notice that every single other person in the audience was also in a flurry of excitement not because it was also their first time at Hadestown and they'd been waiting something like five years for this but actually because apparently LIN-MANUEL FREAKING MIRANDA was sitting two rows directly behind me? And generously doing selfies and autographs with people? And I did not even notice, and if I had noticed, I don't think I would have even cared. If it was Andre DeShields, probably... Eva Noblezada, definitely. 

Anyway, our seats were SO GOOD! We were a little too close to see the elevator set piece (come to think of it, two rows directly behind me was probably the perfect seat...), but the loss was worth it to have the hanging lights swinging over my head. I could see every expression on everyone's faces, and when the main characters knelt at center stage, I was essentially eye level with them. 

I've been a fan of musical theatre since I was 13 or 14 ("Phantom of the Opera" was my gateway original cast recording, and then I found "Hair," and then there was the year that I listened to "Evita" on loop...), but this was my first actual live Broadway show. I've watched so many pirated recordings of Hadestown on YouTube that I was actually surprised at how different, better, and more powerful it was to see it live. I mean, I obviously knew that it was going to be better and more special, but I figured I'd seen it multiple times on screen already, so the better and special parts would just be the experience of being there, like seeing my favorite band playing live after having only listened to their music on Spotify for years. But it was SO different, and SO much more special. Live theatre is this Whole Other Thing that is built between you and the actors and musicians brand-new every single time, this whole other ephemeral thing that you experience just the once, every single time. I'm a little glad that I don't live close to New York City and so can't dilute my memory by watching Hadestown every week, like I would absolutely want to. Even if I didn't get tired of it and instead became the Hadestown version of a Disney Adult, it surely wouldn't stay as magical in my memory as it is now. 

Best. Christmas present. EVER.

After the show, I still completely failed to notice the apparently revived Lin-Manuel Miranda fervor as everyone else but me who hadn't already seen him suddenly saw him, and instead my partner and I busted out of the theater (well, I did take a small detour, because a few minutes later my partner looked at me and was all, "Where did you get that Hadestown souvenir cup?!?" I said, "Someone just left it on the aisle floor so I picked it up!" I drank wine out of it last night while watching Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse and it made me very happy), took a hard right just like the YouTube videos I'd watched told me to, and ended up here, hanging out in front of the stage door:

Here's where I FINALLY heard all the Lin-Manuel Miranda scuttlebutt, as everyone else was gossiping about it and showing each other their cellphone selfies. I've never met a celebrity out in the wild--do they mind having people come up to them and ask for photos and autographs when they're someplace like the theater? Like, I know they get paid an absolute ton of money, but they're not being paid right then, so is it rude to make them work when they're not getting paid, or do we just count all the ton of money that they ARE being paid as part of their compensation for having to take photos with tourists on their downtime? I have no idea, but I AM 99% certain that if Lin-Manuel Miranda had happened to have been seated next to me, he would never have experienced someone awkwardly ignoring him as hard as I would have, on account of I have no capacity for interacting with any strange human, much less a famous one. Just... shudder. 

Anyway, here's me not giving a flip that I didn't see Lin-Manuel Miranda with my own eyes!

So, my first stage door experience wasn't a bust, because the vibe was very good, I got all the Lin-Manuel Miranda hot goss that I'd been oblivious to while it was happening, and Sojourner Brown graciously came out and signed my playbill and gazed upon me with all her talent and beauty:

None of the other actors came out, though, because while we were all standing outside, freezing and gossiping about Lin-Manuel Miranda, the man himself was inside, comfy and warm and schmoozing up all of our actors!

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Ah, well. Back to the Republican stronghold, then, for shawarma-- 

--and bed. 

Tomorrow, I meet Winnie-the-Pooh! Shall I ask for his autograph and a selfie?

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!