I Have Discovered Gay Hockey Smut

Heated Rivalry by Rachel Reid
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I apparently started reading in the wrong order, because I was actually supposed to read Game Changer first, but whatever.

I’m actually more mad that I’ve been loudly cheering for hockey and reading smut for YEARS, and nobody has loved me enough to tell me that this entire book series of genuine hockey smut--bonus points: GAY hockey smut!--even exists! I had to rely on TIKTOK to clue me in, so I guess my parasocial relationship with TikTok has officially reached the next level. Thank you, TikTok, for knowing what I like before I know it myself! I checked this out of the library as an audiobook, and spent much of December plopping myself down with a big armful of cross-stitching next to my husband as soon as he fired up his Playstation and turning this on "so we could listen together." At first he was mortified, but it didn't take long before he was as in the weeds as I was with Shane and Ilya, and now I'm very much looking forward to watching the TV series together. Breaking down those gender essentialist stereotypes one tropey romance at a time!

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My two favorite things about Heated Rivalry are that 1) it has a genuine plot, and isn’t just a bunch of sex scenes pasted together with mildly plotty paragraphs in between them, and 2) there is actual hockey contained within. Not, like, a ton of actual hockey, because even I understand that, given the extended timeframe of the book, full play-by-plays of every game our heroes played during that time would be too much (but if someone wanted to make some fan videos attempting it, I’d watch them!), but enough to flesh the characters out as actual hockey players, and enough to make the game of hockey an actual part of the book. Because my personal belief is that, if you’re reading a hockey romance, you want to read romance and YOU WANT TO READ HOCKEY, and I will never understand how a self-proclaimed hockey romance (*cough, cough* Icebreaker *cough*) can manage to have absolute zero hockey therein.

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Since I am now apparently one of the Old Ones, and have been known to regale my fourth-wave daughters with stories about the bad old days when everyone was in the closet and being queer felt so fraught, one of the things that interests me the most about Heated Rivalry is how, by choosing a setting of male professional sports, the book is able to harken back to those bad old days and the experience of feeling actively in danger simply because of one’s sexual identity. Like, yes, I know homophobia is still out there (though not really in the circles in which my own kids run, hence why I feel the need to regularly trauma dump some lived experience truth bombs on them), but only in male professional sports does it really feel Brokeback Mountain-level these days. So setting the book series in the world of the NHL is a great way to access those Brokeback Mountain-levels of angst again, albeit with, at least in Heated Rivalry, a happy-ish ending.

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And of course, since I’ve also been bitching about this issue for years, finding out that in Heated Rivalry the REAL Big Bad is the NHL itself is right up my alley. Bring back Pride jerseys, you buncha assholes! I swear the administration’s bullshit toxic masculinity is so out of touch with their fan base that it’s ridiculous. Like, they genuinely thought that their fans would overlook the fact that the Golden Knights’ entirely mid goalie is a rapist?!? Just the fact that there are no out NHL players should make the administration realize that something about its playing environment is very, very wrong and they ought to treat that like the mental health crisis that it surely is. But nope! We’ve apparently just got to be hockey fans as best we can while they actively act like they’re playing in 1950, not 2025.

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I did think that the book was making too big a meal out of the “rivalry” part of Heated Rivalry. Yes, you can easily convince me that the gay part is an issue, because hey, toxically masculine NHL, but the rivalry? Um, lots of players have good friends from different teams? How could they not, when players get traded so often? And when there are regular goodwill events like All-Star Weekend and the Olympics? I just didn’t buy it as an issue, and every time a character tried to act like it was an issue it fell flat for me. Shane and Ilya had all the reasons in the world to be best buddies right from the start, AND it would have made their years-long situationship soooo much easier. Like, why wouldn’t they be friends, as top young players and top draftees and with so much in common? If they couldn’t figure out how to make it happen before, then the All-Star Weekend during which they were finally on the same team should have been the time! They publicly realize that they actually get along great! They make no secret of exchanging numbers! Whenever they play each other ever afterwards, they make a point of chatting during warm-ups, during which the announcers will fall all over themselves to say, “That’s what sportsmanship is all about, y’all.” They could even do the cute thing where their teams start fighting and one of them skates over, grabs the other by the scruff of their jersey, and skates them away from the scrum. The fans LOVE that stuff! And then after the game, their teammates are all, “Hey, you coming out with us?”, and each of them replies, “Nah, I’m hanging with Shane/Ilya tonight,” and that’s that.

Anyway, now onto Game Changer!

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I Ate a Pineapple Pork Bun in New York City and I Think I Will Never Be The Same Again

If you thought that bad weather would keep the tourists inside, you would be wrong. We will see all the sights in New York City no matter how cold it is!

We got so turned around attempting to find the right subway line to get us to Brooklyn that we ended up near Rockefeller Plaza, so we figured that we might as well walk over and see if the tree was still up.

It was!

And then the big kid saw the line to get into FAO Schwartz and was all, "Toys?!? TOYS!!!", so somehow we ended up doing that, too.

Of course, as soon as we got into the store and she realized that it was essentially just a mass of wall-to-wall people she wanted to immediately bail, but I said, "Come on, we're already in. Might as well power through."

The first week in January is actually a terrible time to visit FAO Schwartz regardless of the crowds--they were so picked over from holiday shopping, I guess, that although all the shelves were full, they were full with just, like, one or two products per brand, basically. Great if you want a goat cheese Jellycat or a Schleich brachiosaurus painted to look like it works there (which, okay, is kind of cute...)--

--but I kind of wanted to look at *all* the Jellycats, you know? Not just 1,000 copies of the worst one.

Whatever. At least it was warm inside, and it turned out that the subway station we wanted was right near there, after all!

On to DUMBO!

Technically, all people actually wanted to do on this day was walk around Chinatown and eat stuff. But I tacked on first walking across the Brooklyn Bridge TO Chinatown because, come on, it's RIGHT THERE!, and then, well, I tacked on first finding that one perfect photo spot that everybody goes to in DUMBO because if you're at the Brooklyn Bridge, well, then... I mean come on, it's RIGHT THERE!

Just us and 1,000 other tourists seeing the sights!

If you look veeeery closely at the photo below, you can even see a tiny Statue of Liberty. We really saw everything on this trip!

There she is again! 

Walking across the Brooklyn Bridge probably isn't something I need to do again, although I would like to catch a sunrise there, but it was a super easy and pleasant walk that puts you right into an interesting part of Lower Manhattan, a short walk from Wall Street on one side and Chinatown on the other.

We chose Chinatown!

And yes, I did force us a few blocks out of our way just so I could embody that Lumineers song.

It is SO hard for me to narrow down all the places I want to see when I visit somewhere:

But we did our best!

We bought buns and milk tea from Mei Lai Wah--

--and I need to tell you that this pineapple pork bun is the best thing that I have ever eaten in my life:

How do they make that crunchy pineapple topping? It was super crunchy, but it wasn't super sweet so it's not sugar. It was SO good, and I am devastated that I'm not eating it again right now.

We had no organized plan for what little shops and restaurants from my map we actually hit and in what order, so we got a lot of sightseeing done simply by wandering back and forth and around and around doing and seeing everything in the most inefficient manner possible:

Jin Mei Dumplings, cash only and window service only, but you get 15 delicious dumplings for $5!!!

I didn't see a tenth of what I wanted to see by the time we absolutely had to head out, which is always the way, sigh, and I guess it leaves plenty of reasons to come back one day.

Another place I'm coming back to: Madison Square Garden, where I once again managed to score the absolute worst seats in the house!

This game ended up being kind of heartbreaking, because I had to watch Shesterkin get injured (and he's still not back!), and then go on to watch the Rangers flat-out lose to the Mammoth, but at least they scored a couple of points in the meantime--

Here's a spot that I haven't yet made it to even once: the Empire State Building! I just like to look at it from the outside and imagine King Kong climbing it:

Fun fact: the best part of our trip is yet to come!

P.S. Come find me over on my Facebook page, where I often talk about my adventures, experiments, misadventures, and yet more misadventures as I'm doing them!

Fetishizing the Concept of "Hockey Player" Does Not Make a Book Hockey Smut. There Has to Actually BE Hockey In It!

Yes, I am also STILL slogging through A Court of Silver Flames! Not right this second, though, because my Heated Rivalry audiobook just came in...

Mister Hockey by Lia Riley
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

If it’s supposed to be hockey smut, then why is there no hockey?

Like, yes, there *is* a hockey player in the book, but 1) he not only never plays hockey in the book, but he also never so much as puts on his uniform or steps out onto the ice, and 2) he’s pretty much already decided to retire by the time the book opens, so is he even really a hockey player in the official professional sense? That present tense is barely hanging in there!

Without any actual hockey, the book instead becomes smut that revolves around the simple fetishization of “hockey player” as object, which is fine but not what I thought I was going to be reading. Jed doesn’t do anything particularly hockey-forward, so he’s basically just embodying the concept of hockey player in this book. There was a second, when we learn that Breezy hid all her Jed merch before she let him in the door so he wouldn’t find out she was a superfan of him in particular, that I thought this idea of fetishizing the concept of hockey player would be an important topic in the book, perhaps one that the book ends up speaking to and complicating and making us think about what it is to both love hockey and to enact a fandom that makes sexy CapCuts of players and calls going to games “visiting the boy aquarium.” But no. Breezy doesn’t really spend any time thinking about the man vs. the myth and what it means to love one vs. the other, other than to mention in passing that this was easily resolved (in the right direction, of course!), and even when her previous lack of full disclosure causes her to be the one that Jed accuses of selling his private information to reporters, it’s not really about that, as Jed himself later said, and it’s solved with basically zero effort on either side.

@gasquatchmama Ladies, I think they're on to us...it's quite a show. #hockey #hockeywarmups #stretching #hockeystretches #fatherfigure ♬ Father Figure - George Michael

Or rather, Breezy puts forth a LOT of effort, but for some reason Riley decides to make Breezy’s actions irrelevant to the solution? And also, that podcast confession is the cringiest thing a romance character could possibly do, and if someone did that to me, I don’t care how blameless they were for whatever I’d accused them of, I’d never speak to them again. I’d burn their face out of photos and try to forget they’d ever existed, solely for my own sanity. Honestly, I might have to murder them and then invent time travel and go back in time and murder all their grandparents just to make sure I’d erased their entire timeline.

I do like that both Breezy and Jed are portrayed as kind of stupid, making basic jokes and inane puns and bad decisions and rolling way too hard on commitment without letting nearly enough time pass. There’s a lid for every pot! The strongest part of the book was their meet-cute through their first sex scene, when I could pretend that the stupid things they said or thought were just because of nerves and their awkward chemistry could be read as adorable rather than off-putting. It was only after that when I looked at my hoopla app, saw I was something like 70% through the entire book, and went, “Uh, oh…” There was plenty to flesh out to make the book longer, resolve some of these issues, and basically just carry its weight. The conflict with Breezy’s mom was just abandoned with an unrealistic insta-fix, the same with the mean library director but in the other direction, Jed’s brother remained mostly off-screen, and, oh, right… NOBODY PLAYED HOCKEY!!!

@more_than_parents Boy aquarium anyone? 🤣#boyaquarium #hockey #hockeyromance ♬ Pony - Ginuwine

I did appreciate the attention paid to the issue of concussions in sports, because as a fan of hockey I’m very concerned that the players stay safe (and I wish they’d wear their neck guards!), but I did NOT appreciate the way that the wider impact of Jed’s brother’s concussion injury is portrayed. Jed announces that he’s solved the problem of his SIL trying to sell his private information by… paying off her house? I get that money does solve problems, but not ONLY money! Can you not, like, talk to the SIL about, you know, your feelings and her feelings and your boundaries and what she needs for her family to thrive economically and emotionally and maybe have some therapy and commit to spending more time together so she’s not isolated and offer to take your nephews for a few weeks so they can have quality time with a male role model? No? Just… money? Okay…

Oh, and I'm not buying for a second that an independent bookstore focusing solely on children's titles is going to thrive in this day and age. Sorry, Breezy, but you're about to have a hobby business propped up by your boyfriend's professional hockey money.

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Check out My DIY Flyers Logo Hoodie

 IT IS SO GREAT, RIGHT?!?

Remember a couple of months ago when I went to a Philadelphia Flyers game and sulked because the merch was too expensive and vowed to violate their intellectual property rights and make my OWN Flyers merch for myself, thank you very much?

Well, I achieved my dream, and it turned out awesome!

The key to the entire enterprise is the Cricut that my partner surprised me with on Christmas. I still need his help with the graphic design, because it works best if you do your templates in another (*cough, cough* better *cough*) graphic design program and save them as svg files to just export into the Cricut Design Space program, but once you've got that, everything else is a dream:

Honestly, my partner's inspiration for this gift was probably watching me, starting this time last year, hand cut a billion applique pieces for the eclipse buntings that I sold the snot out of last year (I miss you, total solar eclipse!). Because the Cricut cuts fabric, even fiddly little shapes, and it cuts it perfectly, just as smooth as butter:

There were a couple of bits in those tight turns where it didn't quite get the full curve, but it was easy to snip:

After that, I just had to baste everything down with fusible webbing and applique it on!

I appliqued it to a Goodwill hoodie, and it's my newest favorite thing:

I keep waiting for strangers to admire it, but 1) I don't go anywhere, 2) I try not to talk to people when I DO go places, and 3) you probably can't actually figure out that it's homemade unless I tell you, which I won't because see 2).

It was such a success, however, that even though I don't yet have another Goodwill hoodie to place it on, I'm already working on version #2, the Flyers Pride logo:

And then I might see which of my favorite teams end up in the Stanley Cup playoffs and make them my next DIY logo. The Stars are playing so well this season, so fingers crossed!

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Rainbows and Red Wings: I Went To a Philadelphia Flyers Game on Pride Night!

I guess that going to NHL games has become one of my empty-nest hobbies, since I went to my very first game the day after I dropped my very first kid off at college for the very first time. It's a way more fun pastime than the mid-life crisis I'm currently working on ramping up!

Is it coincidence that both of my children just happened to enroll in colleges next door to NHL franchises that I really like? Honestly, yes, but the drop-off after Winter Break always feels even sadder to me than the Fall Semester drop-off, and there is nothing better to cheer one up after sadly dropping their beloved baby off at school than a long ride on the Septa, a long walk through the frozen parking lot, and this on the horizon:

Lol at the ubiquitous flattened Girl Scout cookie box. I don't know whose troop had the genuinely brilliant idea to sell Girl Scout cookies in the arena parking lot, but you are supposed to take all your trash with you when you leave, ahem:

Okay, and what's the only thing that could be even better than going to a regular NHL game? Going to an NHL game on Pride Night!

The NHL, like most (all?) male sports leagues, has a homophobia problem that's absolutely disgusting, so it's extra exciting when I can be part of an overtly queer-welcoming event. Because dude. Bisexual women in long-term heterosexual relationships also appreciate representation! The Flyers team also includes one of the most committed advocates for queer representation in hockey, #21 Scott Laughton. Also, here's their TikTok:

So overall, it was just really nice to be there on Pride Night and feel like (hope that?) for the Flyers, at least, Pride Night is more than just set dressing.

I'm sorry to say, though, that although the Flyers Pride logo is cool as hell, the vinyl on the shirts felt really cheap, so I didn't spend my mortgage on any merch. Don't tell their intellectual property lawyers, but a couple of days ago I used Photoshop to break the Flyers logo into layers that I can cut with my Cricut and I'm going to piece and quilt my own Pride logo Flyers sweatshirt, ahem.

Now, you guys. What's the only thing could possibly be even better than going to a real NHL game on Pride Night?

Well, when I was shopping for Flyers tickets, I found a couple of resale tickets for a crazy good price, considering that they were second row center ice just behind the away team penalty box. The caption also said that the tickets included access to something called the SHIFT4 Club, which omg you guys. It turns out I bought resale tickets from a season tickets holder, and the tickets included access to a VIP club with all-inclusive food and drinks:

I literally researched to find the exact time that doors opened for this club (90 minutes before the game), and my partner and I got there when it opened, and then we FEASTED!

I am eating proletariat food in the photo above, but my partner had a full-on steak with mashed potatoes and asparagus.

They even had boxes of popcorn ready to take back to your seats, which we balanced with two hard ciders, two hot dogs, a tray of French fries, and an order of chicken strips while we made our way down to the best seats I may ever have at an NHL game:

I mean, you guys. How good are these seats?!?

Happy Pride, indeed!

Also, Gritty!!!!!!!

I was too busy enjoying myself to take a ton of photos, but it was a good game! 

Not super high scoring, and the Red Wings didn't play nearly as aggressively as I'd expected them to, but Philadelphia played nice and fast around them.

And we even made it on the TV! Kind of...

I think it counts, lol. I've got my orange hat on and everything!

And during the intermissions, we ran back to the VIP club for more snacks...

...and then juggled all our new snacks back to our seats to watch more hockey:

The Red Wings played a shockingly clean game (ahem), so I only got to enjoy a visitor to the penalty box once:

And then when Larkin was in the penalty box, I was equally shocked to hear all the horrific slurs the Flyers fans around me were screaming at him the whole time. Philly sports fans are a WHOLE MOOD, y'all.

Another thrilling first? My first overtime! The Flyers scored just a few seconds into the first overtime, though, and then, glory of glories, the victory cuddle pile happened to take place right in front of my seat:

Lol at the dude having to physically hold the door to the penalty box closed so the players don't crash through it and all fall on the floor:

It was such a good game! I can't wait to go to another Flyers game after another school drop-off, this time wearing my homemade quilted Pride logo sweatshirt.

Also, my partner literally pulled a chicken strip out of his coat pocket to eat on the walk back to the hotel.

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