A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J. Maas
My rating: 2 of 5 stars
Here's my review of A Court of Thorns and Roses.
Here's my review of A Court of Mist and Fury.
Here's my review of A Court of Wings and Ruin.
And HERE'S my review of the piece of shit that is A Court of Frost and Starlight!
Did I just read the fury smut version of the Star Wars Holiday Special?
There are some book series in which I would happily read an entire book consisting solely of the main characters simply bopping around and living their lives. Outlander, for instance, if you omit Brianna and Roger and Ian and Lord John Grey. Percy Jackson, unless it’s more really shitty writing about Will and Nico, who are supposed to be AWESOME and I don’t know how on Earth Riordan managed to screw that up so badly.
ACOTAR is NOT one of these book series. I’m not entirely sure what I just read, but it was… wow. It was a combination of absolutely nothing happening and everything that did happen being really stupid. Is it possible that this novella is actually written by the winner of some sort of fanfic competition? They wrote the best Bryaxis/Tamlin dom/sub fic and as a reward Maas let them write this no-plot piece of fluff? Because seriously, it has ALLLLLL the fanfic tropes, not the least of which is the #foundfamily rhetoric that Maas keeps absolutely smacking us across the face with. I get it! They all found each other, and now they’re all family! But I swear to God they can stop overtly referring to each other as “my brother this” and “my brother that” and “my family blah blah blah” inside their own heads! Is consciously referring to each other as siblings the only way the rest of them can stop themselves from smutting each other as grossly as Feyre and Rhys are? Because if it is, it’s not worth it. I’d rather cringe my way through another entire scene of improbable wall shenanigans than hear the words “my brother” come out of their mental POV mouths one more time.
This novella reinforces my headcanon that everyone in this fairy crew is really stupid and that’s why they had such a hard time during the war. Their jokes aren’t funny, and their wine mom culture is boring. But boy, do THEY think their jokes are funny! You know they do, because every time someone says something that’s supposed to be funny, Maas forces us to pan individually to every single character and get their reaction shot that shows it’s funny. Like, Feyre says something stupid. Rhys smirks and says something horny into her brain. Cas snorts into his wine. Az laughs. Mor smirks but, like, sadly because she has daddy issues. Amrin gives a sly smile and makes a sexual innuendo. Even Elain giggles softly. And on and on and on, world without end, amen.
Everyone’s Solstice gift to each other is equally stupid, except for Elain’s gift to Nesta because books are awesome. I don’t care what everyone got each other or where they bought it, and I have no idea why Maas thought I would. Just saying, but the only time I would ever be interested in that kind of tedious minutiae is if I was writing a #cozy #foundfamily #fluff fic for a winter holiday-themed fest on A03…
I hate Nesta, and nothing short of the most traumatic backstory possible in the next book will ever make me feel sympathetic to her, but I actually am slightly looking forward to reading her POV in A Court of Silver Flames just for a break from this “we managed to save the world even though we made every wrong decision in the process” lovefest.
Also--jeez, are you elitist much, because I think Nesta’s ghetto apartment sounds… fine? I mean, sure, it’s no House of Wind, but it sounds pretty much like my own college apartment back in the day. Like, isn’t Nesta only in her mid-to-late 20s? Everything works in her apartment, the door has plenty of locks, and there isn’t any vermin--dude, it’s FINE! I get that we’re meant to see that Nesta is struggling and traumatized, and the alcohol and gambling and meaningless sex work with that, but adding the implication that she’s punishing herself by living with the poors is bigoted.
Predictions for A Court of Silver Flames:
- PleasepleasepleasePLEASE let Elain turn evil! She is so boring, and I don’t understand why on earth she’s there if it’s not to turn out that she’s suddenly evil and has been all along, mwa-ha-ha.
- OMG if Elain and Tamlin could just fall in love I would CACKLE. Instant 5 stars on Goodreads!
- Literally the only ACOTAR character I like and think is hot is Lucien, and that’s only before he soul-mated or whatever with Elain, and now he acts like a pathetic dog. So if he could, you know, get his groove back in ACOSF I’d love that. If not, I guess there’s always fanfic!
- As for actual plot, I don’t even care. I’m sure it will be something about the mortal queens and that Swan Lake-ish woman or whatever, but that all sounds so boring to me that I literally almost died of boredom while typing it out.
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