September Favorites: Rick Riordan is the New Tamora Pierce

I've been reading Chernow's awesome Hamilton biography since August. I love it, but it's slow going.

September was a strange month for reading! You're not going to believe this, but Will read ZERO Tamora Pierce books in September. She has now simply read every single book that Tamora Pierce has ever published--re-read them all, actually, some of them numerous times, and I guess now she has to wait for Tamora Pierce to write another book or for the passage of time to dull Will's memory of enough plot points to make them worth yet another re-reading.

I did not do a lot of reading, as I spent most of September busy being a raging stress beast and in my free time I primarily ate Cheez-Its while watching DIY, travel, and cat videos on TikTok. But what I DID read?

Um, it was mostly Rick Riordan.

I don't know what to tell you other than Syd's recommendations are spot-on, and Magnus Chase is delightful. I should probably clear off my library TBR shelf a little before I jump into the Lost Hero series, but then off I'll go!

Seriously, though--I didn't even read an Aubrey/Maturin book in September, even though there's one right there on my library shelf! Ooh, I did finally finish the March trilogy, though:

I don't know how you could read this and remain unsympathetic to the struggle for civil rights that still hasn't been won, or read this and still pretend not to recognize the racist extremism that's behind police brutality and systemic inequalities. That's not what our country is supposed to be built on, and John Lewis is a stone-cold hero for what he did to reverse it. May we all be strong enough to carry on his legacy.

Will has recently resumed her best life, as the public library has recently resumed its in-person hours! Patrons are only allowed to stay for one hour, so it's still not the halcyon days of spending an entire afternoon in her favorite chair, reading through a giant stack of books before picking out another giant stack to bring home, but it's enough time for her to breathe in the library smell (corona-free, hopefully...), walk the library aisles, and browse all the library books, before picking out that giant stack of home-reads.

If you look closely at Will's favorites from September, I think you might find a couple of new authors vying for Tamora Pierce's coveted spot as favorite author:

I'm pretty sure Will re-read all of the Wings of Fire books because there was a new-ish one that she hadn't read yet, and you know you can't go into the latest book of a series cold on every single detail of the series so far!

Here's the rest of what Will read in September:

Just between the two of us--I think the library missed her, too.

Recently, I got brave enough to begin again the daily two-mile walk that was my mid-morning sanity saver... until a dog near my turn-around spot started chasing after me and barking and terrifying the snot out of me every time I walked past its yard. I had visions of it hamstringing me and then gnawing on me at its leisure while I twitched in the road and tried to find the telephone app on my phone--have I ever told you that I have literal nightmares of being in an emergency and needing to call for help but not being able to find the phone app on my phone? I know, I know, it's RIGHT THERE on my home screen, and I don't even have that many other apps for it to get lost in, but the anxiety is anxious about whatever the anxiety feels like being anxious about.

Anyway, I finally decided that a daily walk is a much better emotional catharsis than bursting into tears mid-afternoon... so now I just turn around right before the scary dog's house. So I guess it's more like a 1.9-mile walk, but the point is that I have time to binge podcasts again, which is when I remembered that I never did get around to listening to Finding Fred:

I'm only halfway through the series, but so far it's gorgeous. Mr. Rogers wasn't perfect because, you know, he was an actual human person, but he came as close to perfect as I imagine that any actual, human person could.

My favorite YouTube video of September is actually sort of related to Mr. Rogers! Syd found out that in the UK (or rather, in practically every English-speaking country other than the US), the letter Z is pronounced "zed." Obviously, this made her curious to learn if they also change the alphabet song to match.

Reader, they do!

I think it was Will who instigated searching this video out because of something that SHE read, but really, who would ever pass up an opportunity to watch a crow learn physics through hands-on, problem-based activities?

I would happily homeschool a crow any day!

My reading goals for October are to finish both the Hamilton biography and the newest Twilight book that I'm slowly making my way through. The Hamilton biography is taking me forever to read because even though it's super interesting, it's also a LOT, and so I've generally just been reading a chapter or two a day while I drink my morning coffee--the time of day that I'm most prepared to buckle down into Revolutionary-era politics! Midnight Sun, though... It. Is. So. BAD! It reads like fanfiction, a kind of "I'm going to rewrite Twilight from Edward's point of view because he's my favorite and also I'm going to make him a sociopath. Oh, and I'm really going to hit his wealth hard." There are numerous self-serving references to how much money he's got and what he spends it on--fast cars, amiright?--and there's a VERY long scene, early on, in which Edward works through I'm thinking five different very elaborate scenarios for murdering his entire biology class, including Bella.

Like, vividly described scenarios. Of a teenager mass murdering his fellow students and teacher. I'd ask who the hell WRITES that kind of thing these days, except that obviously people can write about whatever they want, but it seems like an awfully strange thing to write about Edward Cullen, the romantic vegan vampire upon whose back the author's entire fortune was built. Just burn it all down, I guess, Stephanie Meyer! 

So even though the book is TERRIBLE I keep making myself slog through it (it's also something like 650 pages?!?), reading the most appalling parts out loud to whoever happens to be near me. OMG like the scene in which, in the middle of the night, Edward climbs the outside of Bella's house, crawls in through her open second-story bedroom window, and sits in a rocking chair across the room from her all night, watching her sleep, listening to her breathe, and smelling her blood. And they don't even KNOW EACH OTHER YET. Okay, I know that Twilight is basically a punchline now, but at one time there were a bunch of girls and women who were sincerely into picking up what Meyer was putting down, this ideal of a dream-boat boy who's got it all and is truly special and happens to be utterly devoted to YOU, you know? And then pop culture came along and laughed at them and shamed them for it, because of course anything that girls and women love must be laughable and shameful, right? And then, after decades have gone by and Meyer is sitting on top of an absolute dragon hoard of money that these girls and women have paid her, she puts out this book that's all, "Ha-ha! I'm in on the joke, too, you fools! That boy you used to love is a sociopathic stalker and when you thought he was being romantic he was imagining how he'd get away with drinking your blood and wearing your skin!"

And do NOT even get me started on how I'm pretty sure that she only made Jacob fall in love with a literal baby because she was pissed that a bunch of her readers thought he was a cuter boy than Edward. 

To the Apple Orchard: The 2020 Pandemic Edition

 

The pandemic has changed most of our anticipated fall adventures (Will and I should be just about packed for Florida by now, with a zillion SWAPS ready for the Girl Scout Convention and handmade Mickey ears ready for Disney World), but one adventure that thankfully stayed the same is our autumn trip to the local apple orchard.

Per usual, this kid picked approximately one apple--

--and then headed off out of sight with her bestie:

Fortunately, this other kid of mine is still willing to hang out with her parents in an apple orchard. It IS the best way to get the sweetest apples that only live way up high, after all!

Unfortunately, I think we hit up the apple orchard a little late this year (and to be honest, we almost didn't make it on this day, either--there was exactly one hour of work that I'd wanted the kids to do before we left that they refused to do, so I got pissed and flipped the breaker FOR THE ENTIRE HOUSE until they did it, and it still took until significantly after noon for the work to get done. The good news is that we saved on a few hours of electricity, I guess!), and so there were only slim-to-none pickings left. 

But every single apple that was left on a tree in early October, after a cold snap?

We picked it!

I'm pretty sure that the person who enjoys this yearly trip the most is Luna. The first time we took her to the apple orchard with us was the first time that we discovered that Luna LOVES apples, and since then, every time we go she acts like she's come to a wonderland full of yummy treats that fall from the sky and then lie on the ground waiting for her to eat them.

I mean, she's not wrong...

This trip is also one of the very few times a year that I can convince the entire family to sit still and let me take their photos together.

Well, almost the entire family...

She's chomped another apple off the ground and is running off with it so we can't make her share.

Syd and I saw a TikTok that claimed that if you hold your camera upside-down when taking someone's picture, the picture will have a cool and unusual perspective. I don't think it really works, though:

The apple orchard is extra efficient because the kids can also pick out their Jack-o-lantern pumpkins there:

One kid always picks out the biggest pumpkin she can find--this year, her pumpkin weighed 25 pounds! The other kid always manages to get painfully attached to the weirdest pumpkin in the patch. Can you tell which one the kid below is?

Just as we were finishing up our apple cider slushies, apple turnovers, and elephant ears, the sun FINALLY came out, and I was thisclose to making everyone tromp back into the trees for a set of photos taken with proper lighting, but first we took a swing through the general store for cider and another peck of apples, and while we were in there a mask-less child coughed directly on Will--like, DIRECTLY ON HER. FROM APPROXIMATELY SIX INCHES AWAY. WITH NO ATTEMPT TO COVER ITS MOUTH--and I freaked out and hauled Will away from the family by her elbow while they gave me the stink-eye as if *I* was the one acting crazy and Will loudly protested, because of course she was utterly oblivious and also thinks I'm just crazy in general.

So that kind of killed the mood, and I lost my urge to Fight for the Perfect Photos, and instead we headed home, because even during out favorite time of year, at one of favorite places in the world, doing one of our favorite holiday traditions, it turns out there's still a pandemic going on.

P.S. Want to see what we're going to do with a bushel of apples, a gallon of cider, and two Jack-o-lantern pumpkins, one very large and one very weird? Follow along on my Craft Knife Facebook page, where cider cocktails and caramel apples are made, and teenagers are in charge of the applesauce!

How to Upcycle a Crystal Head Vodka Bottle into a Sugar Skull Candle Holder

I originally published this tutorial on Crafting a Green World.

Y'all, I drank some vodka so that my kids and I could make this project. Friends, I am always working for YOU!

It's October. You need a sugar skull candle holder.

There are skull-shaped vodka bottles for sale in liquor stores.

Let's play!

Supplies

To make your own sugar skull candle holder, you will need:

• Skull-shaped glass bottle. I'm using empty Crystal Head vodka bottles (hiccup!), but there are other skull-shaped glass bottles around.
• Rust-Oleum Paint+Primer spray paint, heirloom white. I don't love spray paint, obviously, because it's not eco-friendly, BUT this exact color in this exact brand is the perfect bone color.
• Paint pens. We used both Sharpie and Beric paint pens. I, personally, preferred the narrower tips of the Beric pens, but both brands show up well and don't flake off or smear.

Directions

1. Clean and paint the skull-shaped glass bottle. There's a neat trick that you can do to paint a bottle: stick a pole in the ground, upend the bottle over the pole, and get the whole bottle, top, and bottom, in one go! I, however, didn't feel like digging around for a pole, so I just turned the bottles upside-down after they dried and sprayed on another coat. No big deal.
2. Decorate the bottles with paint pens. Have a lot of fun with this! Draw patterns and designs or focus on one big concept; either way its going to look absolutely awesome.

This is a great project for a kid to do if they can treat paint pens respectfully. Teach them all about the Day of the Dead, let them look at lots and lots of images of real sugar skulls, and then let them be as creative as they like.

If you want to seal your sugar skull candle holder with a clear sealant, you can, but in this case, I don't really think it's necessary. I also didn't want to make my own sugar skull candle holder shiny.

The Crystal Head vodka bottle fits a standard-sized taper candle, and I'd recommend cutting a cardboard circle out of recycled food packaging to fit around the candle so that you're not in any danger of wax dripping onto your beautiful creation.

P.S. Want to make a REAL sugar skull? Check out my walk-through here!

Constellations on My Kitchen Shelves

 Remember how I tried to improve my kitchen shelves by sewing fabric baskets to hide all the crap that we shove on them, but that just made me see how ugly the shelves just... ARE?

Laboring under the delusion that paint and wallpaper are cheap ways to spruce up a space, I decided to spruce up this particular kitchen space by painting and wallpapering it. 

Like, for REAL painting and wallpapering it. As in, not using whatever paint I happened to find in the garage, but deliberately shopping for and purchasing brand-new paint. Not "wallpapering" by decoupaging my favorite comics or Harry Potter paperbacks all over the shelves, but purchasing actual, legitimate, real-live wallpaper.

Will volunteered to assist me with taping off the shelves. Thank goodness for that kid!

I painted the trim around the shelves, permitted Matt to talk me down from the wallpaper of cartoon T-rexes eating tacos, and instead bought this constellation wallpaper, on account of my mid-life crisis has turned out to consist of taking up once again my childhood love of astronomy.

In retrospect, I wouldn't pay this much for wallpaper again. I underestimated the square footage of what I needed to cover, and so instead of having a nice, big surplus of wallpaper to use on other projects, I had thankfully enough wallpaper to cover the shelves, but only enough extra to cover a couple of tin cans, so I guess look forward to my upcoming tutorial on covering tin cans with wallpaper to use as utensil holders!

Also, as I was painting the trim, I noticed that the super old paneling on the kitchen walls is peeling away, so... that's cool, I guess.

ANYWAY, here are the shelves all nicely painted and wallpapered!

Pretend like you don't see any bubbles in that wallpaper, please. It's important that you do this for me. Instead, feel free to notice the peeling paneling below the shelves. What on earth am I supposed to do about that?!?

Next up, Matt has plans to build a roll-out shelf next to the refrigerator--something like this! His hobby is mixing cocktails, so he can put all of his bulky bottles of alcohol and mixers there instead of in the kitchen nook, and wouldn't it be absolutely wonderful if he could also fit some of the crap that we now toss on top of the refrigerator so I can't reach it? Even better, perhaps he could fit some of the things that I've thrown in those fabric storage baskets, so that there would be fewer baskets in the nook and you could actually see that expensive wallpaper!

I'm also toying with the idea of thrifting some fabric and putting up a curtain to block the view of the messy hallway from the kitchen, and the view of the messy kitchen from the hallway. It would involve putting a couple of holes in the expensive wallpaper that I JUST put up, though, and I'm afraid that it would look tacky, as well. I don't always have a clear visual idea ahead of time about what's going to look tacky or not...

What do you think, guys--are you on Team Curtain or Team View into the Messy Next Room?