West Towards Home with Roger Williams, Baron von Steuben, and Shake Shack

How cute is this parking lot bunny? One the one hand, I felt like I should scare it so that it didn't think that it was okay to just sit there in a parking lot, but on the other hand... look at its sweet little ears!!!!!!!

Also, here's the iced coffee bar I've been telling you about! I really wanted to take a better picture, but I also felt like an asshole whipping out my phone and taking a picture in the crowded bagel shop, so this sneaky pic will have to do. You can't see the lovely creamers and add-ins, but you CAN see all the nice varieties of coffees, yum...

And here's what it looks like when you've made your own delicious iced coffee just the way you like it and you've bought yourself a couple of bagels and you're ready to drive from Falmouth to Philadelphia!

I wasn't in a hurry on this day, so I thought that I would 1) avoid the toll roads, 2) avoid New York City entirely, and 3) see how many national park sites I could fit in. I'd really wanted to visit the Thomas Edison National Historical Site, but I hadn't realized how quickly the house tour tickets would sell out, and I didn't want to see it without the house tour, dang it.

Oh, well--there's always the Roger Williams National Memorial, with free parking and free admission!

Despite being super small, this national memorial site has officially radicalized me on the topic of Roger Williams. Why is he not WAY more famous?!? He was awesome!

For the rest of the day, whenever I had to stop for gas or at another national park site, I proceeded to blow up the family group chat with yet more Roger Williams factoids. 

Did you know that although he immigrated as a Puritan, he wasn't a religious extremist like most of the other Puritans? He believed in the separation of religious and civic matters, and that religious wrongs shouldn't be punished by civic action.

He named one of his children Freeborn!

He lived in Plymouth Colony for a while and even preached there, but he got pissed at them because they'd settled on Native American land without permission and also refused to pay the Native Americans any recompense for taking their land, so he left. 

He wouldn't shut up about civil rights and fair treatment of Native Americans, though, so eventually the entire Massachusetts Bay Colony exiled him, and he escaped the sheriff by fleeing on foot during a blizzard! The Wampanoags hid him in their own settlements until Spring.

Later that year, he acquired property by properly negotiating with and compensating the native peoples who it belonged to, and he founded Providence Plantations as the first European settlement on the continent in which church and state were strictly separated, and government was by majority rule. 

It was said by all that he and the native peoples of the surrounding lands respected each other and negotiated together when they wanted different things, and he also learned a bunch of their languages. 

Eventually he managed to unify all the nearby European colonies, and then the whole area became a sanctuary state for people persecuted by the Puritans. And that's how Rhode Island has the country's oldest synagogue!

I'm sorry to say that he was a little iffy about slavery, particularly when they were Native Americans captured during wars with other peoples, but he did try really hard to legislate against importing African slaves, and against slavery for life and passing down the status of slave to one's children... he was outvoted, though.

So imagine how fun it would be to be in my family group chat and get frantic texts of Roger Williams factoids All. Damn. Day. 

Oh, and Roger Williams memes!

Anyway, the park itself was actually pretty small, although it does contain a spring that used to mark the center of Providence Plantations... and this guy's grave, I guess:

So on we go to Weir Farm National Historic Site, a place that I fully admit that I knew nothing about other than that it was roughly on my route and had a passport stamp I could collect. 

I've come to realize that it's never any use to go to a place just for a passport stamp and a quick poke around, because I will then ALWAYS be like, "Ugh, I've got to come back for a proper visit!" 

Weir Farm didn't really feel like a place you could buzz through and see all the sites and move on with your life, although they do have house and studio tours, etc. Instead, it felt like a place that you needed to bring a picnic and some art supplies and a nice, long book to in order to really appreciate it:

In this instance, the visitor center and museum was the least of the experience!

I especially want to come back with my especially artsy younger kid and watch her be inspired. I don't know how you could walk around the grounds and NOT decide to set up your canvas and acrylics and start your en plein air masterpiece right away.

And while she paints, I will lounge nearby on a quilt in the grass, nibble on brie and sourdough French bread, and read a very long and very fascinating novel.

I don't know if it was specifically because I told Google Maps to keep me off the toll roads or because I told it keep me well away from New York City, but the rest of my journey after I pulled out of the Weir Farm parking lot was BONKERS. I'm not sure if I drove on a single highway? I am VERY sure that I drove on many, many, many residential streets! It was a bleak afternoon, chilly and rainy, and I spent it on the kind of slick, windy, hilly, rural roads that would have had me as carsick as a dog if I hadn't been in the driver's seat.

OMG it was charming, though. So freaking beautiful. I kept driving down into these absolutely magical valleys with little towns in them, and every single little town was smack in the middle of some kind of little fall festival, with hay bales and pumpkins and scarecrow decorations and people walking around in flannels or puffer vests. At one point, driving into the most magical valley yet, I noticed an especially large amount of flannel- and puffer vest-clad people congregating at the median, and as I drove past I saw that everyone was visiting a giant statue of the Headless Horseman chasing Ichabod Crane!

The worst part of a solo road trip is that when you're hours behind schedule and the road and the weather are poor and you're worried about driving windy, hilly roads after dark, you have to be your own bad guy and not let yourself take an hours-long detour to find a pay parking lot in a crowded autumn tourist town and fight the crowds to pay your respects to all the finest literary spots that Sleepy Hollow has to offer. 

I'll visit properly when I come back to picnic at Weir Farm and take my tour of Thomas Edison's house!

As it was, I didn't find my hotel outside of Philadelphia until well into the night, and I fell asleep pretty much immediately after barricading the door to my room and wolfing down a peanut butter sandwich and some kettle chips.

Even though the kid's college was just a few minutes away, she was busy the next day learning until lunchtime, so I went back on my own to Valley Forge, because even though I'd been there twice already within the last few weeks, I had not yet paid homage to my own favorite hero of the American Revolution:

Baron von Steuben was a wonder, you guys. He was more or less openly gay, which they were not at all cool with back in Europe, but in the military and political world of brand-new America, everyone was seemingly cool with it, alluding to his relationships calmly and cheerfully in letters and such. I imagine this is entirely because he was an absolute beast of a war machine, and simultaneously a teacher so skilled that he could teach advanced drills and maneuvers without a shared language between him and his students. 

Although the scholarship is clear, some scholars still currently speculate about von Steuben's sexuality, but I think that's only because in our contemporary society, we still don't have a clear understanding of how the queer experience was expressed and acknowledged and understood by historical societies. There was clearly some capacity for non-heterosexual expression--remember that exhibit in the New Bedford Whaling Museum:

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But he certainly had male partners in life, and that was pretty well acknowledged and accepted by his social and career circles, as it should have been. And I just think it's low of places like Valley Forge to use some scholars' dithering as their excuse to completely erase a part of von Steuben's complete life, a part that was clearly very important to him, just to avoid having to deal with some visitors being pissed about it. Von Steuben was a hero and we would have lost the Revolutionary War without him, and if you're going to pitch a fit about him being queer then you're not as patriotic as you think you are.

Anyway, this is my mental note to bring him a Pride flag when I'm back at Valley Forge again later this year.

I love that his statue overlooks the place where he turned a bunch of guys into a functional army:

It's been naturalized back into an authentic prairie, but you can walk around and visualize what it might have looked like 248 years ago:

Tangent, but my younger kid will graduate in the year of the 250th anniversary of the Valley Forge overwintering. I wonder if the site will do any cool anniversary stuff that I'll get to come back and see?

Time will tell, but for now, it's time to go meet my kid for lunch!

My older kid thinks she's too grown now to have me look over her rough drafts, but I've gotta tell you that nothing makes me happier than when someone hands me a hard copy of their essay and asks me to give them some constructive criticism.

As you can see, I'm always happy to comply!

I don't know if it's a natural knack, the fact that they're both avid readers and have always been, or my painstaking, astute, and thorough instruction, but both of my kids are excellent writers. One prefers, and seems naturally better at, non-fiction, and the other prefers, and seems naturally better at, fiction, but I tell you what, there is nothing so able to give you a boost in life (other than money and influence, sigh) as the ability to clearly and effectively communicate, and I am thankful beyond my ability to write it that both of my kids have that ability.

This particular excellent writer and I only had time for a flying visit, as the responsibilities of a college freshman are many and varied, but after her last afternoon class we were able to spend a few hours together just catching up and gossiping. I bought her some sorely needed clothes (somehow both of my kids are underpackers), we poked around a bookstore and a record store, and then she kindly took the lead when I got overstimulated in the Shake Shack:

I don't think I can do Shake Shack. My food had too many sauces, and my mushroom patty fell apart, and I used a shocking number of napkins. 

The next morning's self-assembled hotel breakfast was MUCH better:

Even though it was too short, this was the best visit, because I got to see that my daughters? Friends, I am thrilled to report to you that they thrive. There are ups and downs, of course, stressful encounters and new situations, a Greek class and an ocean weather class that are each harder than they seem, but all in all this seems like it's turning out to be a special, perfect semester in which each kid is in exactly the best place for her to be, doing fulfilling activities and having meaningful experiences, building relationships, having adventures, and otherwise just enjoying their lives. 

It's kind of funny, because ever since I've come home from that trip I feel almost like the opposite for myself, and I'm pretty sure I'm starting my long-anticipated mid-life crisis. And I wonder if my mind was just waiting to make sure that my daughters didn't need me for any of their crises before I could start my own?

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, dog-walking mishaps, encounters with Chainsaw Helicopters, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

P.P.S. I just learned that there's a graphic novel biography of Baron von Steuben entitled Washington's Gay General! I just requested it from my public library!

Exploring the Coast with My Sailor

Because when you visit your sailor at the edge of the ocean, of course you have to do ocean things!

Seeing one of my kids after missing them for a month is the best feeling ever, but weirdly, they get creeped out if I just want to sit and stare at them and pet their hair all day. So we had to plan some activities to see if we could space out my creepy mom moments to a sustainable level.

At this point, I just need to go on a tangent about the DIY Iced Coffee Bar at Cape Cod Bagels. We discovered it back in August and managed to visit it every day we were there, and on this trip I also visited it every day! It's essentially just a bank of chilled coffees in different flavors, with a separate area where you can add your cream and sugar. It is the most genius concept I have ever encountered, and I had a marvelous time mixing up different coffee flavors for myself, then perfectly sweetening everything to my exact likeness. 

I miss you, Cape Cod Bagels!

And why yes, I DID bring my kid's national parks passport book on this trip with me, just so she and I could do my favorite things for us to do together--collect passport stamps and visit museums! Because obviously you cannot collect your New Bedford Whaling National Historical Park passport stamp without also visiting the New Bedford Whaling Museum!

Please look at a picture of this animal that definitely really exists:

What, you've never seen a hyena whale before? Guess you're not as much of a sailor as you thought you were!

How about a bearded whale? Look at its little paws!

These are from Historiae Animalium by Conrad Gesner, who's definitely seen a real, live narwhal for his very own self:

I don't remember if this definitely real siren is from the same book, but it's certainly got the same look about it!

Y'all know how excited I get whenever I see a Marshall Islands stick map! It's the first map that ever blew my mind, and now I'm sort of low-key obsessed with the different ways that humans visualize their local geography:

Here's another interesting conflation of two of my Special Interests:

I present to you a map of the United States, embroidered by a young Miss Silvia Grinnell. Her father was a ship captain, and she was named after her mother. The map looks like it was pre-printed with the lines to embroider, although it's also very possible that Silvia drew those lines herself as part of the project. I love how the larger borders are pipe cleaners that she stitched to the fabric:

It wasn't uncommon for children of all sexes to be given this type of academic handwork--I mean, think of the beloved salt dough map of today!--but it IS uncommon for it to have survived, especially in such good condition. Alas that I no longer have any of my children's carefully crafted salt dough maps... much less their cookie cake maps, ahem. 

New Bedford is in a miniscule nook completely covered by two pipe cleaner pieces. I wonder if the conservators peeped between those pieces to see if she'd sneaked a special embroidered marker there for her hometown?

Here's my own hometown, below. I think it's interesting that she embroidered the names of the indigenous nations there, as she knew them:

My love for Moana is a running family joke, as is the fact that whenever we buy a month of Disney+ so we can watch the latest Star Wars or Marvel or Percy Jackson series, I also basically end up watching Moana every single day of that month. And sometimes in conversations or via text, I will randomly exhort my child or partner to "consider the coconut. Consider its tree," then continue to extol how we can "make our nets from the fibers," and "use the leaves to build fires," etc. I promise that I'm very fun to be around!

Anyway, does the below informational signage not sound EXACTLY like that song? I cackled when I saw it, lol:

There actually wasn't a ton about whaling itself at the museum, which I appreciated because whaling is pretty disturbing. Instead, it was information about whales--

--the culture of the appreciation, observation, and study of whales--

--and the culture of the whalers and those who worked on the whaling ships.

Included in this, I was delighted to see museum evidence of one of my Special Interests, historical boyfriends! It's still an open question among scholars how subversive queer expression would have even been on whaling ships during this time and place--perhaps not very!--but some of the very few first-person narratives known today include some intriguing ambiguity.

Just a few days after this, she'd be setting sail on her own tall ship not completely unlike this one!

After seeing the rest of the sites--and getting our passport stamps, of course!--I'd had a couple of other spots in mind to visit--

--but considering that I'd also spent the entire day bragging about how I'd been to the Cape Cod National Seashore twice in a matter of weeks and had seen copious sea lions both times, the kid decided that what she'd really like to do with our evening is go see some sea lions.

So we did!

You can tell I'm with one of my kids when I start taking photos of rocks and shells and weird stuff on the ground. If you're not obsessed with examining things that would be just perfect for your nature table, were you even a homeschooler?

This kid is definitely the beachiest one in the family after me, and she'd probably be even beachier than me if she wasn't so fair-skinned. So it was nice to hang out with someone who accidentally ended up getting just as wet as I accidentally ended up getting!

And this time I didn't have to dread driving back down the peninsula in the dark, because I had a confident and capable fellow adult to do it for me!

Afterwards, we picked up more pizza from the place next door to my hotel, and had settled in for our own little Family Movie Night, when the kid got a text from one of her fellow sea friends that it was going to be a good night for seeing bioluminescence. By this time, she'd seen the phenomenon several times herself, but I had never, so we hopped back in the car and went on another adventure!

The trouble with the bougie little town where the kid's program is located is that it's a bougie little town. Most of the waterfront is private, with little non-resident access or parking. She and her classmates mostly walked or biked to the beaches, and they all have stories to tell about security guards trying to kick them off of beaches they even had the owner's permission to be at. But the kid knew a couple of places where we could more or less park legally for a bit, assuming we could get in and out before the cops arrived. She directed me to one such place, where I parked, we got out of the car, and a male voice from the darkness immediately called out, "Can I help you?"

I cheerfully replied, "Nope!", and then we cheerfully (but quickly, ahem) ignored Random Man/Cat Burglar/Security Guard/Mob Boss/Serial Killer while we poked around the dark harborside, picking up little sticks and rocks and tossing them into the water to annoy the  phytoplankton to make them bioluminesce at us. It was VERY cool, but as soon as I'd watched it for about five seconds I whispered, "Let's go," the kid replied, "Yep," and we were off. 

We'll see each other again in Auckland!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to random little towns, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!