In Which John Burns Is My Favorite Old Coot Of Gettysburg

Let's go on a road trip!

Ohio has both a brand-new Wawa and a brand-new Buccees. Mr. Craft Knife and I tried the Buccees a few weeks prior when it was more crowded than Disneyland and I did NOT get the hype, but what with all our drives back and forth to Pennsylvania, I DO now get the Wawa hype!

I didn't ever tell you the story about how the kid and I messed up ordering at Wawa SOOOOO badly during our long-ago trip to see the college that would become her alma mater, because it is genuinely humiliating and the kid and I vowed never to speak of it again (while still almost constantly referring to it to each other, because we literally cannot process it, it was so embarrassing). But because of that, every time I visit a Wawa and its ordering kiosk has actual instructions, I always take a picture and get a little madder at the Independence Hall Wawa. I hate you, you guys! You exist in one of the biggest tourist spots in the country--WHY IS YOUR SPECIFIC ORDERING KIOSK SO NON-INTUITIVE?!? WHY ARE YOU SO HIGH-KEY RUDE ABOUT IT!!!

I once again managed to convince Mr. Craft Knife not only to come with me on this trip to pick our daughter up from college, but also to make a proper sightseeing trip of it, so I had someone to take pictures of me chatting with Lincoln at Gettysburg National Military Park!

Bro is soooo much taller than me--my feet barely even reach the ground in front of his favorite reading bench!

Also, he is the only person in the family patient enough to drive me wherever along the battlefield I want to go, hang out with me while I read every plaque, stand where I tell him to stand while I take photos of him in front of every significant (and insignificant) spot, and basically just do whatever I tell him to do while I am also being very, very, very boring about it.

I can remember the exact moment, approximately a decade ago, when I let a friend borrow my audio tour of Gettysburg on CD, but it's definitely too late to ask for it back now, ahem, so instead, Mr. Craft Knife and I relied on the NPS app for this first day of battlefield touring.

Here we are looking northwest towards the McPherson Farm:

On the morning of June 30, 1863, soldiers from the US cavalry and soldiers from the Confederate infantry were VERY surprised to discover each other on the road in front of McPherson's barn. In the image below, the road, Chambersburg Pike (because it runs from Chambersburg!) is the Hwy 30 just to the north of the McPherson Farm label, which marks McPherson's barn. My photos are taken from around the 1st Brigade 1st Division Cavalry Corps memorial.

This Confederate army, headed by Robert E. Lee, had sneaked past the US forces and into Pennsylvania, hoping to draw the US army out of the Confederate territories for the summer so that the Southern farmers could get a proper harvest for the first time since the war had begun, the better for the Confederates to steal it all later. He also hoped that putting battles in front of Northern faces would convince Northern politicians to press for peace, because who wants a battle right in front of their face (spoiler alert: definitely not the citizens of Gettysburg!)? He'd accomplished the sneaking part, and now he was stationed in Chambersburg, and his entire 75,000-person army was stretched in a big semi-circle over and around Gettysburg, busy pillaging and raiding and looting the countryside.

But the Union was chasing them north, just like Lee had wanted, except that Lee didn't know exactly where they were, because his cavalry, headed by Jeb Stuart, was also out and about, wandering around far from home base, and if Stuart sent Lee any communications about the location of Union troops, Lee didn't receive them.

The Union didn't know where the Confederate army was, either, but their 2,700-horse cavalry was nearby, trotting ahead of the army keeping their eyes open, and that's who spotted the Confederate infantry marching down Chambersburg Pike towards Gettysburg on June 30. The Confederates spotted them, too. 

And then both sets of forces literally noped out, lol! They both just reversed themselves right back where they came from and decided they'd deal with it tomorrow.

Which was July 1, 1863!

So, the morning of July 1, the Union cavalry had set up super early on Chambersburg Pike (the yellow road on the map), around the Herrs Ridge Road line (far left), keeping an eye out for the inevitable march of the infantry to show up from the west. When they spotted each other, that's when the Battle of Gettysburg began:

So, you've got 2,700 Union cavalry versus 10,000 Confederate infantry. Both sets of forces are basically just trying to hold off the other set until reinforcements arrive, but it's harder for the cavalry, because not only were they fewer in number, but they also didn't actually fight on horseback, so some of the cavalry had to opt out of fighting just to hold everyone else's horses for them. But it also sucks for the infantry, because every time they have to fight they basically all have to stop marching, and most of them have to get off the road and scramble over ditches and fences so they can line up right. And then they succeed in pushing the cavalry back a little bit, which the cavalry had actually planned for so they've got a few spots down Chambersburg Pike where they can retreat, and they have time to do that because before the infantry can follow them, they keep having to scramble back out of the fields and pastures and back into lines on the road.

Late in the morning, the Union cavalry finally got their first infantry reinforcements, the 1st Corp led by General Reynolds. He deployed the infantry to the north and south of Chambersburg Pike, including in that woods at the bottom of the picture. The woods mark the spot where he was also almost immediately killed, poor dude. Abner Doubleday was field promoted to take his place. But later that day, when General Meade finally arrived, he demoted Doubleday and made somebody else the 1st Corps Commander, and Doubleday pretty much sulked about that for the rest of his life.

Also, he maybe invented baseball.

The best part of the Google Map is that you can use all the memorials to figure out where everybody was in the battle. My favorite memorial is for John Burns, just north of the woods. He was just some old dude, a random pissed off civilian who'd already been agitating against the Confederate occupation in the previous days (including citizen arresting a few Confederates during their earlier pass-through, lol!), and who on this day took himself out onto the battlefield with an antique Revolutionary War musket to get those damn Confederates off his lawn, goddamnit! 

At one point, he managed to wheedle a proper rifle off of a wounded Union infantryman, and at another point, the general of the Pennsylvania infantry was able to convince him to at least go fight in the woods where he'd be out of the sun (and possibly the way, ahem). Burns paid him back, though, by fighting like a total badass in the woods, even shooting a Confederate officer clean off his horse. And later, when he was wounded and had to be left on the field while the Union soldiers retreated (more on that later), he convinced the Confederates that he was actually a non-combatant who'd just happened to get caught up in the cross-fire. They apparently didn't recognize him from his earlier agitation against Confederate troops, so they let him go back to town, where he recovered from his wounds and lived another nine years as a national hero.

Fun fact: when Abraham Lincoln came to Gettysburg the next year to dedicate the new national cemetery, he was asked if there was anything he wanted to do in town, and he replied that actually, he'd quite like to meet John Burns. So he did, and by all reports the two got along great!

Anyway, it's a good thing that Reynolds had deployed some of the Union forces north of Chambersburg Pike, because there was a whole northern segment of the Confederates, who'd been pillaging and looting north of Gettysburg, who had now managed to bust their butts to get back down south to meet those Union forces. They had a whole other fight on Oak Ridge, north of Chambersburg Pike and north of Gettysburg:

Buford's monument marks where that morning fighting was. Lincoln Highway is what they're calling Chambersburg Pike. At the bottom you can see the north edge of Gettysburg.

This spot has a nice observation tower where you can look out onto most of the first day's fighting:

This view shows where the Confederate forces came from the north:

And this view is to the southwest, back toward Chambersburg Pike and the morning battles:

There was a lot of back-and-forthing, and the monuments here are interesting to read because they're all, "In this spot so-and-so division was posted, then they advanced and shot some people, then they retreated and were shot at, then they advanced again for a little bit and did some more shooting, then they were chased screaming through town. Most of them died." Out of the 296 soldiers from the Pennsylvania division that this monument memorializes, seven were killed, 52 were wounded, and 31 were either captured or just plain went missing:

These new Confederate forces coming in from the north actually overwhelmed the Union force, who retreated south through the streets of Gettysburg (while the citizens cowered in their basements) all the way through town. Just south of town were two hills, one wooded and one bare, and that's where the Union was finally able to make their stand to end out the first day of battle.

The Gettysburg National Cemetery/Evergreen Cemetery area and Culp's Hill are where they ended up: 

And that's the end of the first day of battle!

Next up: dinner in a former field hospital, then a ghost tour with the world's most reluctant ghost tour guide.

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, dog-walking mishaps, encounters with Chainsaw Helicopters, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Sewing American Girl Doll Clothes Is My New Mid-Life Crisis Hobby

One Facebook Story of my little niece holding her brand-new American Girl doll later, and my summer fate is sealed!

The art of sewing doll clothes is fairly new to me, but I always like to learn new things. And once upon a time I would also have told you that the sewing of tiny garments full of fussy, precise details did not appeal to me, but tbh I think that I, myself, am growing fussier as I age, because I kind of don't mind it now. So many precise 1/4" seams! So much tidy edge stitching! Such fussy cutting of novelty prints! I used to hurry through all my sewing to get to the finish as quickly as possible, more than ready to move on to the next exciting thing, but lately I've been pretty into the process, taking my time and focusing on the details and whiling away whole evenings puttering through a project while listening to endless audiobooks.

I just finished Endgame, which was a biography of Bobby Fisher, and now I'm ready for The Long Game, the last book in my hockey smut series!

There are several books of patterns for 18" dolls that I want to sew my way through, and first up is Doll Couture, a book that I actually own but never found the time to dive into when my own little American Girl doll enthusiasts were the right ages to have appreciated my work. Good thing I've got a new audience now!

This simple dress, a sleeveless bodice with a gathered skirt, is my first project:

Highly recommend owning an entire roll of tracing paper--it's so handy!

The instructions in this book are shockingly difficult to parse--they literally didn't tell me that the dress is supposed to come together like this--

--so at every stage I kept trying to sew the skirt into a circle, or stitch the bodice back closed, and once I thought I'd finally figured out what the step I was looking at said to do and ended up sewing the bodice shut at the bottom(?!?), but eventually my very own little Goodwill American Girl doll modeled a well-fitting dress for me:

I literally found her at Goodwill for eight dollars! I LOVE her! I think she's going to be my own personal version of the porch goose, and she's going to have SO many handmade outfits for all seasons and holidays. I need to fix her hair, though, so please send me all your best tips for untangling American Girl doll hair.

And then I sewed another!

I do really like all the tidy details involved, all the edge stitching and stitching down my seams and how nice everything looks when freshly ironed.

Oops, gotta trim that thread!

I experimented with a puffier skirt for the Halloween dress, and I find it much improved.

I really like how well-proportioned small-scale novelty prints look in an 18" doll's garment, and my plan is to use up as many of my novelty prints as possible sewing my niece a wardrobe of doll clothes for her birthday.

I've also been working hard to upgrade my photo set-up:

That's two softboxes plus a giant flexible vinyl panel from Menards that I clamp to my tabletop and sort of slither up the wall to make a seamless backdrop. Vinyl is such a bummer, but I love how it looks.

Now that I've finally cracked what the instructions wanted me to do, this dress is the simplest thing in the world to sew, and it turns out so cute every time. I even upgraded some bits, like fully lining the skirt and finishing the side seams, so mental note to make physical notes so I don't forget!

I considered appliqueing one of the gingerbreads from the skirt fabric onto the bodice, but I thought that it might look too baby-ish to the sophisticated eyes of its future six-year-old recipient. I kind of wish I'd done it anyway, though, because surely one can't have too many gingerbreads on one's outfit!

I had to make myself stop at two dresses for my niece's doll, though, because I have a lot of different patterns that I want to try. But it's surely not too late to sew just a couple of dresses for my own girls' childhood American Girl dolls, so carefully put away in the top of my closet (until I got them out to serve as extra fashion models for these photo shoots, ahem...). 

And of course my own little American Girl doll will need some outfits to wear when she's not helping me out with her fit checks of the garments I'm sewing!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, dog-walking mishaps, encounters with Chainsaw Helicopters, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

How to Embroider A Pair of Converse For David Bowie's Biggest Fan

I originally published this tutorial over at Crafting a Green World.

Yep, you can embroider your favorite pair of Converse to create totally custom shoes!

Y’all, this might be the coolest project I’ve ever taken on. This birthday present for my kid who’s David Bowie’s biggest fan and only ever wears black-on-black Converse on her feet may have destroyed all sensation in my right index fingertip (mental note: thimbles put the “fun” in functional fingers!), but it was worth it for how great these shoes turned out.

The process is long and tedious–and awful on your fingers if you don’t wear a thimble!–but it’s also very easy, absolutely suitable for a beginner sewist. Here’s how you can make your own custom pair of Converse!

Materials

To embroider Converse, you will need the following supplies:

• canvas shoes. The canvas material is the important part here, so any canvas shoe will do. I embroidered on a pair of monochrome black Converse high-tops, but I’m also kind of eyeing the grey ones for myself.
• self-adhesive water-soluble embroidery paper. This is often referred to as “stick n’ stitch” paper, because you can stick it down to a surface just like a sticker, and then embroider directly on top of it. When you’re finished, the paper rinses away with water. You can usually print on this paper with an inkjet printer, as well, which is so great for transferring more detailed designs. If you don’t have an inkjet printer but want to make a more elaborate design, you can use regular printer paper instead, but you will have to pick all the bits of paper out of your stitching afterwards, which is a pain.
• embroidery floss and needle. Two strands of embroidery floss is perfect here. Use the sharpest hand-sewing needle you can get, and don’t forget a thimble!

Step 1: Place the template onto the shoe.

This step would have been easier for me if I owned an inkjet printer. For the lightning bolt design, I cut the overall design out of the adhesive paper, then drew on the color blocking details in pen. I tried a few methods for getting the “Rebel Rebel” cross-stitch design onto the Converse, including trying to draw a grid onto the adhesive paper (so time-consuming!) and trying to use the perforations in the adhesive paper as my stitching template (my poor myopic eyes!), but ultimately I just stuck the printer paper with the design printed onto it directly onto the Converse. It doesn’t have to be perfect as long as it gets done!

Step 2: Embroider Converse according to the pattern.

I used a running stitch, backstitch, cross stitch, and satin stitch for this project, with the backstitch being the most useful for the lightning bolt, and the cross stitch the only stitch I used for the “Rebel Rebel.” For the lightning bolt, I outlined each part in the color I wanted it to be using a backstitch. I used a satin stitch to fill the narrow blue and black color blocks, and more back stitching to fill the red lightning bolt.

I would not recommend a satin stitch for the lightning bolt, because the thread has to cover too much area. It’ll sag over time and be very vulnerable to breakage.

Below, you can see how I cross-stitched the “Rebel Rebel” design directly onto the printer paper pattern. I didn’t end up needing the adhesive paper that I’d already placed there, but it doesn’t add bulk to stitch through and it rinses away easily, so I left it:

Step 3: Remove the pattern paper.

To remove the water-soluble adhesive paper, just rinse the canvas under the faucet for a few minutes and it will come away. To remove the printer paper template, first tear away as much as you can, then soak the canvas until the paper is thoroughly waterlogged. That makes it easier to pick away the remaining paper bits under your stitching using tweezers. It will be a LOT easier to do if your pattern isn’t entirely cross-stitch, ugh!

Optionally, you can cover the back of your embroidery with fusible interfacing designed for exactly that, but I decided to leave the back of my stitching as-is. I didn’t put any knots into the floss, instead hiding the ends well inside the layers of canvas and padding, so it shouldn’t be uncomfortable, and I don’t *think* friction will be an issue, either. But the kid comes home from college for the summer in just a couple of weeks, so if it looks like the embroidery floss is becoming worn on the inside, I can always place interfacing down before it becomes a problem. If it happens, I’ll let you know!

David Bowie’s biggest fan LOVES her new kicks, so much so that the beloved bookshelf quilt is now in second place in the category of Favorite Gifts Made By Mom. Meanwhile, I’m thinking that I might like to embroider a Starry Night scene, or a trilobyte, or maybe Stonehenge on my very own pair of Converse!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

How to Sew a Key Fob

I originally published this tutorial over at Crafting a Green World.

A key fob is a quick and easy stashbusting project that will come in super handy!

If you know someone who’s required to keep an ID and/or a key accessible at all times–a college student, say–then you know that it can actually be quite annoying. Nobody really wants to hang a lanyard around their neck every day of their lives, nor do they want to always be digging through their bag every time they have to swipe into a building or unlock their dorm room door or use their meal plan.

A key fob is a great solution for anyone who needs just a couple of things handy. It fits happily on one’s wrist when needed for ready access, and makes your stuff a LOT easier to find in a backpack or tote bag. And although you do have to purchase the hardware, the rest of it is simple to sew from scraps, making the key fob a great solution for the enthusiastically scrapbusting crafter, too!

Here’s how to make your own quick and easy and super handy key fob!

Materials

To sew a key fob, you will need:

• 4″x12″ piece of fabric. I like quilting cotton or similar for this. But if you used something heavy like denim, you might be able to get away with omitting the interfacing!
• 4″x12″ piece of interfacing. I really like Pellon 809 Decor-Bond for this project, although you could go a step up or down in weight and your key fob would still turn out nice. Because this is a stashbusting project, though, don’t despair if you don’t have any suitable interfacing! Dig through your fabric stash and look for anything on the stiffer side, like pre-washed Eco-fi felt or PUL, or even double up on thin interfacing.
• super glue. Use E6000, Gorilla Glue, or something similar. For some reason I have the WORST time keeping super glue nice in between uses, so I always try to buy the smallest package possible.
• 1″ key fob hardware. If you don’t want to spring for the special pliers, don’t think that you can just use your regular pliers–the grooves on conventional hardware pliers will scratch the snot out of your key fob hardware. Ask me how I know, ahem! If you do want to use regular pliers, pad both sides of the key fob hardware super well by putting a popsicle stick or scrap of denim fabric between the pliers and the hardware.

Step 1: Cut your fabric and interfacing to size.

As you can see in the image above, these key fobs are so quick and easy to sew that you might as well make multiples!

As for scraps, for this project I’m using a scrap that once belonged to a button-down shirt, a scrap that once belonged to a tablecloth, and a bit of stash.

Cut the fabric and the interfacing to 4″x12″.

Step 2: Iron the interfacing to the back of the fabric.

Hmm, I don’t know if my cuts are looking perfectly precise there. That plaid, especially, was a little more loosely-woven than I really wanted, but it was exactly the right colorway. Oh, well–the folding will fix it!

Step 3: Fold the fabric into quarters, lengthwise.

The easiest way to do this is to first fold the fabric in half, lengthwise, and iron well to crease it. Then fold each side in to meet the middle crease, and again iron to crease it.

The key fob is going to feel very thick at this point, and won’t want to hold all those creases, so clip it well.

Step 4: Edge-stitch around all sides.

Can y’all see the mistake that I made on all three of these key fobs?

ARGH!

I edge-stitched around all the raw edges of my key fob, but for some reason–forgetfulness? Distracted by an exciting part in my Fourth Wing audiobook?–I neglected to stitch down that fourth side, the folded side.

I’m so irritated at myself, but these key fobs are finished and gone to their college student recipients by now, and the good news is that there’s no way on earth that any of those teenagers are going to notice the absence of that one stitch line that they didn’t even know was supposed to be there. I fear that over time that fold will lose its crispness, though, especially at the middle where it will rub against the wearer’s wrist.

Ugh, this mistake will haunt me until the day I die.

Don’t be like me–edge-stitch ALL THE WAY AROUND your key fob! Depending on your machine, you may have to increase your needle size or stitch length to handle the bulk, but it should nevertheless be sewable for any home machine.

Step 5: Attach the key fob hardware.

The very first time I made key fobs, I excitedly put them in one of my kid's college care packages to give away to her friends, and over the proceeding semester, I was MORTIFIED to hear from them that one by one, their key fobs had fallen apart! College students are hard on their stuff, and the prongs simply could not hold the weight long-term.

Another failure to take to my grave!

I’ve seen a suggestion to use a seam ripper to poke little holes in the fabric that let the prongs dig in deeper, but just between us, I’ve had no more problems with my key fobs detaching after I started gluing the dang things.

So, fold the key fob fabric in half so that the short edges are together. I stitch them together because now I am the most paranoid key fob crafter, but tbh you probably don’t need to.

Run a thin line of super glue along the short edge. YOUR key fobs won’t be going anywhere!

Follow the directions on the key fob hardware to attach it. Usually, this will require you to set the fabric edges together inside the hardware, then use pliers (don’t forget to pad them if they’ve got grooves!) to clamp the hardware around the edges. Pay attention that the prongs are piercing the fabric, not just folding against it–I’ve found that tugging on the fabric as I clamp it helps with this–and that the hardware is lined up well with the fabric. With 1″ hardware and fabric folded down to 1″ wide, it should be a perfect fit!

Set the key fobs aside for the super glue to cure, then they’re ready to use.

Y’all, tell me honestly: in the above image, the missing edge-stitching is all you can see, isn’t it?!?

ARGH!!!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

I Took 1,719 Graduation Photos, Mostly of the Dog

Because how could I not, when she is genuinely THAT CUTE!

Also that miserable having to wear a preschool graduation cap and gown that we bought her off of Facebook Marketplace.

I think it's this one, so at $8 we probably didn't really get a great deal on it, but 1) this was my very first Facebook Marketplace purchase, and 2) I'm uncomfortable with haggling, so anything below list price feels like a good get. 

Fortunately(?), the kid's cap and gown come free with her tuition!

I did end up ironing that gown in my hotel room while watching the PWHL, after sending the husband and kid off to buy candy to sneak into the movie theater later that night. Project Hail Mary was even better on IMAX than it was on the regular screen!

I didn't get every photo on my shot list, but honestly, I got a LOT more than I thought I would! I got a lot of great photos showing off the cap and gown from behind--

--and some really good detail photos of her cap with its "2026" charm:

I couldn't quite figure out how to make her favorite picture book or stuffed animal work in photos, but I got some shots in anyway:

But all the photos of her and her best friend in their matching caps and gowns are priceless!

If you zoom in on Luna in any photo, though, you can see that she is absolutely OVER our nonsense, lol. She would never actively protest, but I'm cracking up at this close-up of her just staring resentfully into the middle distance:

Also, her jowls tucked behind the elastic band that I stitched onto that baby graduation cap!

I tried to take most of my photos in campus spots that were meaningful to the kid, but sometimes I veered off-road a bit. I'm pretty sure the only time the kid has so much as stepped into the campus chapel was during Admitted Student Day, when the campus female a cappella group serenaded us with Billie Eilish, but still. It's a lovely spot for some photos!

My favorite photo spot was the kid's favorite classroom on campus, although the photos that I took there aren't super sharp--why do classrooms seem to always have such bad lighting?!? But the science building on this campus, and the classrooms inside it, are on the old-school side in just the right way, with scientific charts on bulletin boards (my favorite is this one) and cases full of fossils and cabinets full of rocks and shelves full of the textbooks of generations past:

I forgot to even put a graduation prop in this photo--there were a thousand boxes of rocks, each one hand-labeled, and just between us I lost my head a little. If you ever want to look at my one thousand photos of hand-labeled rocks, let me know!

It would be so bad to steal from a school, but if that fish fossil ever turns up missing, they should probably send a SWAT team to my house...

And just like that, we're already doing things for the last time. Last time reading the posters of bad science jokes on the walls in the physics department:

Last time paying waaaay too much for admittedly delicious local hard cider:

I'm genuinely embarrassed to tell you this, but this bottle was over $30!

Last time bumming off the kid's meal plan points for chicken and fries:

All this, and she still always has so many meal plan points leftover on the last day of school that she buys out the undergrad grocery every year. We're always stocked with snacks every summer!

I'm really looking forward to all the family events and other graduation festivities that her school hosts, since this will be our first proper graduation from a genuine institution, and even more so now that I know I can relax and not worry about getting the perfect photo of the kid in her cap and gown.

Ooh, there's a family party the night before her graduation ceremony. DO YOU THINK THEY'LL HAVE KARAOKE?!?!?!?

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!