Tutorial: Make Bread Mold on Purpose (Because by Accident Isn't Scientific Enough)

Because life is everywhere.

Because what starts out small often grows large.

Because what happens by accident can also be done on purpose for a purpose.

Because ordinary materials can be used to make extraordinary things.

Because the five-year-old wants to do a science experiment.

1. Obtain, by any means necessary, a slice of bread:
2. Dribble three tablespoons (more or less) of water upon said slice of bread, apparently getting as much water on the newspaper that I'm trying to read as possible:

3. Put the wet bread in a Ziploc baggie (or a glass dish with a lid, if you're fussy about plastics), and hide it somewhere warm and dark. Visit it every now and then.

There, we've done a science experiment. NOW can I drink my coffee and finish the newspaper?