August Favorites: Public School, Poor Coping Techniques, and a Pandemic Playlist

Ugh, you guys. I was so naive. I legitimately thought that public high school, even pandemic-themed virtual public high school, meant that my homeschooling workload would be cut in half. I figured I'd help Syd with her homework, maybe sneak in some fun activities to supplement her learning, maybe focus on my OTHER high-speed learner while Syd contentedly worked away on her own high school stuff, maybe just get caught up on all the arts and crafts activities that we've been longing to do in our non-school hours. Finish our paint-by-numbers. Buy some resin supplies.

What virtual public high school ACTUALLY consists of is me homeschooling some other teacher's lesson plans every day, all day, with no prep time. Trying to interpret some video lesson to figure out what the teacher wants my kid to learn from it, then trying to teach it to my kid some other way so she actually will learn it. Still being the bad guy, since all the instruction is still coming from me. Getting just as frustrated as she is with weird and wonky technology and online stuff that doesn't work right. I swear to the heavens that she has submitted that very first Upload a Photo assignment to her algebra teacher 40 times, and the algebra teacher still can't open it and so still won't award her the points. All her other teachers can see her photo uploads!!! WhAt ThE hELL!?!?!?!? Also, her French teacher kept assigning the kids readings in their French textbook, and Syd kept doing them, but bombed the first quiz, and it turned out that Syd randomly has a different French textbook (????) that's just randomly also in the online portal where she accesses her online biology textbook, but that's not the French textbook that the French teacher wanted them to use--it was some other textbook, in some other online portal, but we didn't notice because, you know, THERE IS A FRENCH TEXTBOOK RIGHT FREAKING THERE.

Want to guess how many times Matt has caught me sitting on the kitchen floor in the middle of the day, crying while rage-eating macaroni and cheese straight from the pot?

More than once, you guys. More. Than. Once.

Anyway, that's why I read so many books in August. It's because after I finish the daily hell of mentoring Syd's virtual public schoolwork, all I want to do with the rest of my life is 1) watch my month of Disney+ that I got for my birthday (I have seen Hamilton as many times as there are days), or 2) read quietly while listening to Spotify. Preferably no other humans exist in the dimensions in which I do these activities. If they do exist, they ideally should also be very, very quiet. If they wanted, they could hand me the pot of macaroni and cheese when I spontaneously start crying.

Okay, *sometimes* I will do the New York Times crossword. But I still don't want to talk.

My obsession with series books continued through August. It turns out that most of what I read is part of a series!

After reading this series with me, Syd described John Lewis as a BAMF:

She is not wrong. Telling her immediately afterwards that John Lewis had died the month before was pretty crappy, and I wish now that I hadn't done it.

I did just pick up Book 3 from the library, though! Perhaps that will give a chance for the hero worship to eclipse the sadness...

Here's one of Syd's heroes that she handed over to ME, and she didn't tell me any sad things about him to ruin my experience:

I also just picked up The Last Olympian from the library! Syd tells me that after I read that, I can start the Heroes of Olympus. I think the Trials of Apollo comes after that?

Will is in charge of all of our library Lumberjanes requests, or at least I think she is--I just magically find the newest Lumberjanes graphic novel on our library shelves every now and then and happily read it! Here's the one that I read in August:

   

And I think the newer ones are already in our holds queue!

My obligatory Aubrey/Maturin read was my favorite one yet:

You know how I feel about those two! There's a scene here in which both Aubrey and Maturin are afraid that Maturin is going to die during their imminent adventure. Aubrey is trying to toast Maturin, starts to tell him how much he loves him, gets choked up, and then accidentally drops his cup, it shatters, and he FREAKS OUT because apparently sailors are superstitious as hell. I LOVED IT.

And don't even rag on me about spoilers, you guys--this book is something like 40 years old!

My favorite non-fiction book of August also turned out to be part of a series, although I didn't know it at the time:

I checked it out from the library because I'm into rockets, but the book is so well-written, and has just as much to say about dying small towns and family members who don't love you as much as you wish they would and busting through your academics because it's about all you've got as it does about rockets.

Also, Will and I made something called rocket candy together when she was deep into her pyromaniac stage. Turns out that phrase was coined by this guy, who invented it as a teenager! We're very lucky that he lived through that experiment...

Here are the whopping three books that I read in August that it turns out are NOT part of a series:

I particularly wish that El Deafo had a sequel, though!

Will, fortunately, has had a very smooth transition into August. Her days continue to look much like this--

--and even better, and knock on wood(!), we've possibly found a venue to host her PSAT AND her AP exam (it's an hour and a half away, but whatever--I'm thrilled!), and so far her very first real-live college class seems to be challenging and engaging and fun for her.

Will is a beast at getting her schoolwork done and happy as a clam afterwards, burying herself in fantasy novel after fantasy novel. Here are her favorites from August:

You'll see, of course, a goodly amount of Tamora Pierce--of course! And apparently she's also on yet another Wings of Fire read-through...

Here's what else she read in August!

That reads like a life well-lived, doesn't it?

Another pandemic fun fact: along with my resting heart rate, my insomnia has been ratcheting up like you would not believe. I've had some level of insomnia since I had the kids, but now I do shit like waking up at 4:00 am on a SATURDAY and wandering, zombie-like, around the house, until by the time someone else finally wakes up at a reasonable hour, I'm presenting them with a spotless, dirty-dish free kitchen in which there are freshly-baked blueberry muffins and a breakfast casserole I'm just taking out of the oven, and I cannot tell them my name or what year it is.

I've become, then, a connoisseur of those ten-hour ambient noise YouTube videos. Some of them sound cool but are too gimmicky--a pirate ship during a storm would NEVER have zero people hollering on it!--but others are pretty awesome. I like to turn those fireplace videos up until it sounds like there's a forest burning down, and this is my favorite rain video:

That, plus my weighted blanket and a sleep mask, generally gets me to sleep... until 4:00 am, at least! After 4:00 am, I'm just gonna go vacuum the kitchen and bake muffins.

I am in a podcast drought! Much of it has to do with the fact that I don't feel like thinking during my free time right now (not when there are books and Disney+ for zoning out in!), but now that 1) my birthday Disney+ subscription ends tomorrow and 2) I have my sewing machine back and it works great--YAY!!!--so I can start sewing again, I'd love some more good podcast recommendations. In the meantime, I'm going to share with you what I'm mostly listening to while I read:

It's my dorky, dorky, nerdy, dorky personal playlist of my own personal favorite songs. Feel free to skim through it and judge me for my choices. It's even got my name on it, so you can come stalk me, I guess. I mean, I'm pretty boring--as you can tell from my Spotify favorites!--but if you want to quietly watch me quietly reading while listening to indie folk/Broadway show tunes/vintage country gospel, feel free.

Also... send me your best podcast recommendations!

How to Sew a Poodle Skirt

I  originally published this tutorial on Crafting a Green World.

You guys, if you have never read about the history of the poodle skirt, I need to start you off with the information that it is just about the most fascinating thing EVER.

Basically, back in 1947, a woman wanted something awesome to wear to a holiday party. Being of a DIY mindset, she made herself a circle skirt out of felt (no seams!), then decorated it with cute appliques.

As you can imagine, knowing how ubiquitous the term "poodle skirt" is today, her creation went over very, very, very well.

What you might not have imagined before, however, is that it's not just poodles that were on the poodle skirt. In fact, that first Christmas skirt didn't even have poodles on it at all! Throughout the poodle skirt's massive popularity in the 1950s, people felt free to personalize it in whatever ways that appealed to them.

Think cacti. Or horses. Or Elvis Presley silhouettes. Cartoon mice. The Eiffel Tower.

So when you think of a poodle skirt, you really should be thinking of a simple felt circle skirt with novelty felt appliques.

Easy to make. Endlessly customizable. NOW you want to make one, don't you?!? So let's do it!

Tools & Supplies

To make a poodle skirt of your own, you will need the following:

• Felt. In Step #1, you'll do the calculations to learn how much felt you'll need for the skirt. You'll also want felt in the appropriate colors for all of your appliques.
• Matching thread. I don't use interfacing when I sew, because it's costlier and less eco-friendly than doing without, so you'll want a matching thread to sew your appliques to the skirt.
• Measuring supplies. Get yourself one of those yardsticks with a hole at one end (or just drill the hole yourself). You also need chalk and scissors.
• Stencils and templates. I freehanded some of the appliques on the particular skirt that I'm showing you in this tute, but other appliques came from Google Image searches. I'm not selling the skirt, so it's cool.
• Sewing notions. See Step #1 for these, too.

Directions

1. Calculate the measurements for your skirt. A circle skirt is exactly what it sounds like--a skirt in the shape of a perfect circle, with another circle, cut out for the waist.

So first, stop and think about how you want to get the skirt onto your body and keep it there. The skirt in this tute has an elastic waist, which means that I cut the center hole large enough for my kid to pull it up over her hips, and then I sewed 2" elastic to it for the waistband. This is a great solution for a kid or a teenager because as the kid grows, it's possible to remove the waistband, enlarge that center hole (provided that you've left the room and the skirt is long enough), and add new elastic. I  fully expect my kid's poodle skirt to last her through adulthood.

If you're already an adult, however, you can instead cut that center hole to size and install a zipper. It's more work, but the skirt would be less bulky at the waist and you could make it with a smaller piece of felt.

Either option is totally up to you!

So decide that first, so that you know the measurement for the center hole. The measurement will be the circumference of the circle that you want. In this case, I want a measurement of 24" so that my little noodle can get the skirt up over her little noodle hips.

Now, either do the math or plug that number into this circle calculator. The number that you want to get from this calculator is the radius. A circle that is 24" in circumference has a radius of 3.8". If you're going with the elastic waistband method, go ahead and round up to the nearest inch, which makes my new radius 4".

Next, decide how long you want the skirt to be, measuring from the waist to where you want the bottom hem to hit. I wanted another 20" of length. To find the total radius of the circle that you need to cut, you need to add that radius to the radius of the center hole. In this case, the total radius of my circle is 24". Double that number, and you'll have the total dimension of felt that you need in both length and width. Fortunately, felt comes in up to 72" widths, so you can make a pretty good-sized skirt from a single piece of felt.

Once you have your yardage, fold it into quarters. The very center of the piece of fabric will now be one of your corners. Place the hole in the yardstick right at this corner, and use it as the pivot to mark your total radius measurement in chalk. You'll see a perfect quarter of a circle marked out. Do the same thing, this time measuring the radius of the center hole. Cut them both through all four layers of fabric, then unfold the fabric and marvel at your perfectly-measured and cut circle skirt!

2. Add felt appliques. With the skirt unfolded, create and lay out the appliques until you're happy with their placement. You can also add other embellishments, such as the necklaces that I put on both of the unicorns, and a rope ladder from one of the caves.

When you're happy with the placement, pin all of the appliques to the skirt.

3. Sew the appliques to the skirt. Felt doesn't unravel, so you don't have to satin-stitch these appliques in place. With matching thread installed, I set my sewing machine to a stitch length of 3 and a width of 3, then zig-zagged around each applique. I highly recommend a walking foot for this.

4. Add a bias tape hem, if you'd like one. Again, felt won't unravel, so any kind of hem is completely optional. However, I thought that this skirt did look much more finished with the addition of a double-fold bias tape hem in a complementary color. I'd have had to stitch the appliques all around the hem, anyway, so it wasn't that much more work to add it.

5. Add the waistband of your choosing. For the elastic waistband on this skirt, I cut a piece of 2" elastic in a complementary color to the exact waist measurement (22.75"). I lapped the ends, marked both the elastic and the skirt waist at the quarters, pinned them together at the marks,  then zig-zag stitched them together, stretching the elastic to match the skirt as I sewed. It took less than ten minutes!

While felt is a very sturdy fabric, if I were you I'd remind whoever plans to wear the skirt that felt is also quite delicate. I know people were wearing these all throughout the 1950s, but people took better care of their clothes then, and also Velcro wasn't commercially available until the late 1950s. Velcro will pull at felt something terrible, so be careful when it's around.

Felt also doesn't wash well in a washing machine and doesn't dry well in a dryer. It'll be okay if you wash it on cold and hang it to dry, but it's better yet if you pretend like you're wearing your poodle skirt to a sock hop every time you put it on and treat it accordingly.