Throw a Birthday Party For Your Dog

I'm trying to organize all kinds of files and folders on my computer this week (generally when I get a new computer I just dump everything from the old one to the new and then forget about it, which is I suppose why, now that I'm finally organizing, I found a folder, nested probably five folders deep under various titles like "Backup" and "Julie's Old Computer" and "C Drive," entitled "FLOPPY DISKS." And in that folder? Like, essays that I wrote as a freshman in college! Treasures!), and going through some photos, it occurs to me that I never showed you pictures of the birthday party that Will threw for Luna!

Yes, we are apparently the people who throw a birthday party for their dog. But it goes like this:

Will isn't what you'd call a "people person," but it's important to me that she be comfortable practicing all the social conventions, including playing party host. I mean, of course! She hasn't wanted a birthday party since she was nine, which is totally cool, but I always offer. And so when the one-year anniversary of Luna's adoption date started to roll around, I asked Will if she wanted to throw a birthday party for her dog, expecting the same polite refusal that she gives me every year when her birthday starts to roll around.

I was stoked, and SURPRISED, when she said, "Sure!" and was super into the idea!

But it makes sense. Don't you always want to do more for the ones you love than you want to do even for yourself?

Nevertheless, I pointedly helped Will plan a pretty chill party, just a few people, just a couple of hours on a Sunday afternoon. Just about the perfect amount of social time for the world's most introverted introvert. Will took care to invite the people she knew who she knew liked Luna the most, and I did a girl and her dog photo shoot with her so that we could make postcard invitations, which is by far my favorite type of invitation.

It was one of those parties that was so chill that I didn't even take many photos, and the ones that I DID take are terrible. Here, for instance, is the birthday cake halfway through the party, apparently, and also poorly lit:



Sydney made it for the party. The number above the bone is a 4; the shelter told us that Luna was probably around 3 years old when we got her, so we decided that this was her fourth birthday party.

Will made Luna a homemade birthday pupcake, frosted with peanut butter and decorated with a big dog bone:

Luna normally LOVES people, but unfortunately there was a severe thunderstorm that lasted the entire evening of the party, and Luna is absolutely terrified of thunderstorms. She spent nearly her entire party under Will's bed, with the children leading pilgrimages of guests to go pay homage to her. They lured her out for birthday cake, but all she was able to bring herself to do was lick the frosting some before going to hide again.

To be fair to Luna, the tornado sirens actually went off about five minutes after the above photo, and I herded all the child guests, plates of cake and all, into the girls' bathroom in the center of the house, while we adults stood around and listened to the weather radio and wondered if we were too lazy to get everyone outside to the root cellar.

We were too lazy, and the kids seemed just as happy to stand shoulder to shoulder eating cake in a tiny bathroom while a siren blared as they were to do it sitting on the carpet in the playroom. 

For dinner, Matt grilled hot dogs (thankfully before it started storming!), and we had a DIY hot dog bar. We printed this poster of different styles of hot dogs--which still fascinates me, by the way, and my goal is now to go through them all--and offered a lot of random toppings, including this, the BEST chili for a chili dog.

During a two-hour birthday party, I figured there'd be just enough time to eat, do one activity, have cake, and hang out for a little while before everyone went home, so Will and I decided that for the activity, we'd let everyone metal stamp their own dog tags:

It's one of my favorite all-purpose crafts, because kids and adults like it and can do it, and the dog tag blanks are really cheap, so after you've spent the money once for the metal stamps, you're golden.

For those of you who are in Girl Scouts, these also make terrific SWAPS!

On the invitation, Will had told everyone that no presents were necessary, but they could bring a donation for the Humane Society if they wanted. Sweet friends, but they pretty much all brought donations AND a birthday present for Luna, and if that isn't the nicest and cutest thing that you've ever heard of, then I don't know what is. Will's grandparents even heard about the party and sent her a card and gift by mail from across the country!

The village that this kid has just astounds me. She doesn't exactly hide her light under a bushel, but in a lot of ways she's very different from other kids, and so solitary and independent by choice that it amazes me to see that people do know her, and do accept her for who she is, and do like her. I wouldn't call this one of the gifts that Luna, specifically, has given her, because I've seen many people come to know and love my brilliant introvert for who she is without a dog by her side, but I will say that Luna is a gift that makes Will more accessible to know and love for who she is. Not everyone wants to talk pop culture semiotics with Will, or national and world politics, or about books, even, although honestly, who wouldn't want to talk books? Not everyone wants to spend all their time with someone sitting next to them and reading, occasionally looking up to comment and briefly converse about what one is reading, but then continuing to read. 

But when Will is with Luna, she isn't so much just the brilliant introvert; she's also a kid with a dog, and just about everyone knows how to interact with a kid with a dog. You know how to talk to a kid with a dog, and you know what you have in common with her, and if you're the kind of person who'd happily attend a birthday party for a dog, well, then you probably can accept that kid for who she is, too.

A birthday party is such a small thing to give back to a creature who's given so much.

A Girl and Her Dog Photo Shoot

I know that I just wrote about this girl and this dog, but that was before we decided to throw a birthday party for the dog next month.

Stop laughing. I'm serious!

It turns out that my older kid, who hasn't wanted a birthday party for herself since she was... eight, I think?...is super revved up about the idea of having a birthday party for her dog. Yes, we're going to invite real people. Yes, we're going to have a craft project (metal stamping dog tags). Yes, we're going to have food (hot dog bar, because of course), and yes, we're going to make a cake just for the dog. I even showed Will photos of first birthday smash cakes for inspiration.

The people will have a cake, too. I've already found the tutorial for cutting a cake into a giant 4. We reckon Luna is turning four, maybe?

Anyway, we needed a photo of Luna for the invitations, so so that's what inspired this photo shoot. The kid brushed her hair, collected the dog, and off we trotted

literally

 --to my favorite photo shoot location, the drive-in next door. I had some shots planned out--some, like the one that I wanted of Luna's paw in Will's hand, went bust, and others, like the one below, I'm really, really happy with:

But the best shots that I got were after I just sat back in the grass, a little exasperated that the dog wouldn't sit where I wanted or stay sitting once I'd gotten her there or put her paw at just the right angle, etc. I sat back, sweaty and frustrated, and just took a break for a minute while the kid and dog goofed off.

Except that I actually sat back intending to take a break, then saw what the kid and dog were actually doing as they goofed off, and I put my camera back to my eye as surreptitiously as possible and got this:

And this.

After a couple of minutes of that I told Will that we were all done, and sent them off to play:

A dog who can put that specific look on that specific kid's face? Of COURSE that dog is getting a birthday party.

This is How She Trains Her Dog (and How Her Dog Trains Her)

We've had Luna for almost eleven months now, but she's really only been working on being trained for the past five or so, when the basic obedience course offered by the closest doggy daycare finally fit into our schedule. Seriously, it's not as if we could have gotten anything else done on a Saturday morning during the ballet year!

Matt and Will went through the basic obedience course with Luna once, and then were supposed to work with her one-on-one to cement the commands they'd covered before they enroll her for the next level.

And... they're still working on that.

Luna is probably around four years old now, and she came to us having had a litter and a bad case of heartworms. She's the sweetest dog that I've ever met, so clearly somebody treated her right, but equally clearly that never consisted of ever asking her to do anything. Ever. Which is so weird to me, because I've known plenty of people who are lazy dog owners, and their dogs will still shake hands or "beg" for a treat or something. Anything. Something stupid, probably, but something.

But our Luna came to us not even not knowing any commands, but not knowing how to play at all, and with seemingly no understanding that human language and gestures have meaning, or that she should look to humans for communication. The first thing that Matt and Will were taught was to hold a treat at their forehead to get Luna's attention, and then to give her the treat so that she learned to associate paying attention with a reward, and this step took FOREVER. Honestly, I think Luna still forgets, and Will still drills her on this sometimes.

In addition to the "watch" command, Will trains Luna daily on "sit," "down," "come," and "touch," which is the prerequisite to "heel." Luna can do those commands now, but not consistently. Still, it's better than she did for months upon months, when Will had to physically move Luna's body into position after every command.

I, personally, would have gotten sick of this after the first week, and Will has had her moments of frustration, but for the most part, she is more consistent and patient with her dog than I have ever seen her be before:

She finally watches!

Here's a good down, and Luna isn't jumping up immediately for a change, so it's a VERY good down!

The good down was probably mostly a fluke...



Will usually rewards Luna with bits of hot dog, but I think that's bad for her arteries, and so every now and then I talk her into making a batch of homemade, healthy dog treats. Luna really likes these honey dog treats, but these particular ones are the same no-bake, pumpkin and oat dog treats that my Girl Scout troop taught Brownies to make at a Pets Badge workshop last month, and we have tested them on MANY animals, and every single animal has adored them:

Luna loves them so much that when Will accidentally spills them, life kind of becomes chaos:



Back to work!

Will still puts a treat on her forehead to remind Luna to "watch."

She also has Luna "touch" to encourage her to go weird places, because Luna is scared to go weird places. She avoids our kitchen because she's scared of the slippery floor there, bless her heart.

This dog has given this kid so much more than we have given this dog. We've only given Luna food, shelter, walks, training, fun experiences, and unconditional love and affection. But she has given our older daughter gifts she wouldn't otherwise have. Learning comes easily to Will, so easily that she barely notices that it's happening most times. It's so easy for her to learn new things that it's also easy for her not to understand that learning isn't this easy for most people. I've seen many, many clever children (and adults!) who are disdainful, contemptuous of others who learn more slowly than they, annoyed by people who take a while to think, who ask questions about something that's already been covered, who need material repeated for them, who need to repeat the material over and over again. It's a disgusting state of mind, and I won't permit Will to voice it at another, but I can tell that she thinks it sometimes. Who wouldn't be tempted, when they see someone inexplicably struggling with something so EASY? It's easy to lose your compassion that way, to think that your quick learning makes you better, when really it's nothing to your credit--you were simply born that way. But if you think that it makes you better, then you think that those who can't duplicate your quick wit are worse than you, and perhaps they deserve their bad breaks, and you don't notice all the good breaks that you've been given just because you happen to be such a clever girl.

But then here comes this dog. You love her the most, and she loves you the most, and you'd do anything for her, and you know that she'd do just anything in her power to please you. But boy, is she a slow learner. You tell her the same things over and over and over again, and you know she wants to do what you say; you can see by her head tilt and her wriggling butt and the uncertain lifting of her front paw that she desperately wants to do what you say, but she just. Doesn't. Get it. You have to patiently demonstrate the same thing over and over again, watching her so eager, watching her not get it, and you get so frustrated, but how can you be mad at her? You can see how much she wants to do your thing. You can see that if willpower would make her learn the thing, she would have learned the thing long ago. It's clearly not her fault, because she's absolutely the best dog, but being the best dog in the world does not mean that she's the fastest learner. She may, in fact, be the slowest learner.

But you don't give up, because you love your dog so much (and also because your mother won't let you, because she secretly knows what is going to happen). And very, very, VERY slowly, what your mother secretly knows will happen does, indeed, start to happen. One day she points out to you that you used to have to push your dog's butt down to get her to sit every single time, over and over again, but now you only have to do it sometimes. And then hardly ever. You used to have to say, "Down," and then physically pull your dog's feet out from under her to lay her down, but now you only have to put the treat down there and she remembers. She IS learning. It IS happening. And whereas you take your own learning for granted, as if everyone can spell a word aloud once a day for four days and then have that spelling memorized, and can read a whole book an hour, every hour, you are absolutely thrilled at every very small advance that your dog makes in understanding. Every time she remembers to sit, you celebrate. You're more patient. You're learning to be more encouraging. You're becoming a better person every time that former shelter dog looks in your face, her ears up, and wills herself to learn for you.

That's of far more value than anything that we could possibly ever give to this dog of ours.