Can You Go to Philadelphia Without Visiting Independence National Historical Park? I Apparently Can't!

In the past twelve months, every single time I have put a toe into Philadelphia, I have found myself, at some point, in Independence National Historical Park.

Most recently, my partner and I spent a couple of days in Philadelphia after dropping our younger kid off at college nearby. We tried to do a few non-national park things, like eating cheesesteaks (of course!) and having drinks at the Library Bar (which I didn't really like, ahem)--

I got the Chocolate River, but it ended up kind of grossing me out because there was a giant ice cube in it, and chocolate shavings ON the ice cube. Hard chocolate plus ice doesn't feel like a palatable combination, shudder. I wish now I'd gotten the Candy Man instead.

--but somehow, inevitably, on our last morning in the city, we found ourselves here:

It's the low season at Independence Hall, I guess, so they were offering first-come, first-served group tours without the $1 pre-registration.

Y'all KNOW how I feel about saving money!

Even with that incentive, the crowds were so low that it was nice to be able to walk around in the gated site and take photos without having to worry about crowds. 

And even though it was soooo cold, it was such a pretty day!

I really like how park rangers get to have their own personalities on the job. I love chatting with them, and I love attending their programs, hearing their own unique perspectives on the content. To be fair, I'm still pissed at the park ranger at the Ulysses S. Grant National Historical Site who told me that homeschoolers are "less curious" than traditionally schooled children (oh, the comebacks I've thought up for her in the intervening years!), but the time that I recently spent roasting Andrew Jackson with a park ranger at Johnstown Flood National Memorial are some of my happiest since sending the kids off to college. 

All that to say that the park ranger who conducted our tour of Independence Hall was A Character.

He led a great tour--showed us all the proper stuff and gave us all the cool information--

--but I felt like he high-key thought we were stupid, and it was hilarious. First of all, he kept calling us "folks," but in that way that your one high school history, teacher, say, who was an older dude and clearly longing for retirement but he needed to stick it out a couple more years to get his full pension, would talk to you. Like, condescending and kind of chastising? You obviously haven't studied enough and you don't remember all the nice history you were taught and what kind of person does that make you?

Honestly, we probably deserved the park ranger's tone of chastisement and condescension, because he kept asking us really hard questions and visibly having to push down his annoyance when nobody knew the answer. I helped out the group by knowing one answer--"Articles of Confederation!"--but yikes, dates are my weak spot. And everyone else's, too, apparently! 

Oh, his best question, though! He was trying to get us to name the event he was describing, and none of us in our group of probably twenty knew what the fuck he was talking about. Visibly irritated, he finally said, "Most of you probably have a picture of this event in your pockets!" I was all, huh... maybe something about George Washington? Or Alexander Hamilton? I was literally about to suggest the ten-dollar founding father without a father when the ranger finally broke and exclaimed, "The Continental Congress! It's right there on the back of every two-dollar bill!"

I lost control of myself at that point and sort of stepped to the back of the group so he wouldn't notice me silently losing my mind with laughter, and found there two other wayward souls who were also snickering. He was just clearly so mad at how stupid we were! But seriously--the two-dollar bill!?! I haven't seen one of those in... I don't even know how long! I used to save them and spray glitter on them for the Tooth Fairy to put under the kids' pillows because they're so special, but I had to stop because I couldn't find anymore. Like, ever. Who on earth still has a two-dollar bill in their pocket, much less so consistently that they remember what's on the back of the bicentennial version? 

OMG it was awesome. I haven't felt like my high school self in a billion years, and I think I really needed that.

Obviously, even though I was literally right there a month ago, I had to go back to see the Liberty Bell afterwards. For, you know, my partner's sake! Surely he wouldn't want to leave without seeing it!

Yeah, you can clearly see that I'm just gritting my teeth and enduring it solely for my partner's sake...

I'll just point out here for the umpteenth time how well-designed this spot is. The Liberty Bell is on display with Independence Hall in the background, and it's just such a cool scene.

Whenever my partner and I visit a city, he will NOT stop talking to the various solicitors and other denizens who approach him, I swear to god. He has literally taken those stupid CDs that people try to hand you in New York City, and those stupid tourist maps and tourist "newspapers," and once upon a time walking back to our hotel late at night in Nashville, a woman came up to us to ask for gas money, my partner STOPPED TO TALK TO HER, and I 100% left his ass and kept on walking. If you're not going to be reasonable you can get mugged on your own, Buddy!

He gave her twenty bucks, and I was absolutely gleeful in pointing her out to him the next night, in the exact same place doing the exact same thing. 

So on this morning, I had lectured him before we left the hotel about not talking to strangers, no matter what they said to you. I hadn't had any issues when I'd come to the city with the younger kid, but when I took the older kid we'd had to steer around a couple of people trying to accost us on the Metro and then another person on the sidewalk, so I was not up for any nonsense on this trip.

As we were walking away from the national park site, though, a person who presented as an international tourist stopped us on the street corner and asked, "Is this where Liberty Hall is?" We were right in between both Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell building, so I pointed both out to him and told him where to go if he wanted to see either of them up close, he thanked me and walked off, and the second he was out of earshot my partner was all, "AND WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW?!?"

Dude, I'm allowed to talk to strangers because I can tell the difference between a lost tourist and a career mugger!

And then I cooled his irritation with another cheesesteak, because nobody can be mad while eating cheesesteaks!

So far every time I've visited Independence Hall it's been with a different member of my family, each of whom I insist must be "shown" the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall, etc. But now that they've all individually seen it, along with me three entire times, what on earth excuse am I going to make to visit again?

Stay tuned, I guess, because I'll think of something!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!