Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Last Christmas

This holiday season was long and wearisome, and it still doesn't feel over, as Pappa's funeral was just this morning. Funerals are good only in that you know that after them, you can start to figure out how to feel okay again. It's officially after the funeral, now, so tomorrow I will officially start to figure that out. Feel free to post helpful tips.

And for as much as the New Year's holiday was spent mourning Pappa's death and even the Christmas holiday was spent hospital-bedside--
On Christmas morning, Pappa naps as Syd plays with her brand new Ponies.

--I am requiring myself to remember that quite a lot of it was joyful, as well. We baked a truly astonishing number of Christmas cookies, and decorated some epic gingerbread houses:

We did our usual tour of the most elaborately decorated house in Arkansas, and the town park with a Christmas lights trail and a Christmas train that runs through it:

We have seen every single member of our family currently living in the state, I believe, and even a few other out-of-state family members. The kids' favorite member of our family, however?

This new puppy of my mother's.

We ate ice cream floats from an old-fashioned soda fountain and visited the national historic site again so that Syd could show off her 4th Grader National Parks Pass and earn their Junior Ranger badge for a second time:

Such nice little lions...
...until they're not!
And we did, of course, have a lovely Christmas day:
Time for Daddy to wake up! 
My sweet girl is always the most excited to see others open the gifts that she gives them.
And I love that I caught Will's excitement watching Syd open a gift of her own.
Will, herself, mostly received dragons.

 See? It was a nice Christmas.

At some point, I know, the grief will fade from these memories of this holiday, and I'll remember again the happiness and contentment that I also felt. It will be easier to think of the last days that I spent with Pappa, without feeling sad that those were my last days with him. I know, intellectually, that this will happen.

For now, however, I'll just say that I will be very, very glad to see tomorrow.


Tina said...

It's such a hard part of life and I suck at words of advice. I have lost loved ones, but none that have been as close to me as your Pappa is to you. I have envied the closeness in your past posts, but I can't even imagine the pain you must be feeling now.

When my step-father passed away unexpectedly, I made a blanket out of his button-down shirts and gave it as a gift to his grandson. While I don't have the physical blanket, the memory of making it is a comfort to me.

When my Memere (my mom's mom) passed away, I kept a bunch of her jewelry (all costume and nothing expensive). From time to time I will pull the pieces out and use them in a craft project. Again, I have given away the finished products (to my sisters), but just working with her jewelry helped me.

And most recently when my Grammy (dad's mom) passed away, I made two blankets from her sweatshirts. I gave one to my youngest nephew, for he was always super snugly with Grammy whenever they went to visit, and I made one for Emma.

Crafting is my therapy. Maybe it can be yours as well.

julie said...

Crafting is good therapy! Staying busy in general is good. I got up this morning and did ALL THE THINGS! I made breakfast, I cleaned the kitchen, I made a meal plan for the day, I made lesson plans for the day, I am right now doing school with the kids, and then I'm going to do many, many more things on a list of, like, 1,000 tedious chores that I have to keep myself busy.

Tina said...

That sounds like a good plan! Busy is good, just make sure to keep taking care of yourself.