Questions Better Left Unanswered

1. How did the child with the broken leg fall behind the couch?
2. What was the child with the broken leg doing on top of the couch's back? Sitting? Standing on one leg? Standing on one leg while reaching for something up high?
3. Why did the child with the broken leg not call out for help? Clearly, there is not enough room behind the couch for a child with a broken leg. How did falling on one's back behind the couch, without hope of getting up or out unassisted, NOT constitute an emergency requiring one to screech at the top of one's lungs for Momma, and yet breaking one's pretzel, or not finding one's favorite pair of shoes, DOES constitute this kind of emergency?
4. When I walked past the living room and spied one bare foot and one casted foot sticking up from behind the couch, and I therefore walked over, climbed over the couch, and asked the child with the broken leg if I could help her up, why did the child with the broken leg act as if I was doing her a favor by hauling her 40+poundage PLUS cast up in a non-ergonomically-correct position, thus straining my back? How would she have liked to have stayed down there all afternoon, perhaps, maybe with a bag of pretzels and a Boxcar Children novel?
5. How well do you think my sanity is holding up, in company with this child with a broken leg?