In Which Each of the Groups Contains a Bedraggled Monkey

We left off last time in the weird story I wrote as a kid with me, a small child even in my story, having taken it upon myself to turn my bedroom into a home for abused animals (Matt ridicules to this day the poster that I still have from my childhood bedroom. I think my Aunt Pam gave it to me--she's known for her really thoughtful gifts--and she knew I would love it: a huge photo of a cat trussed up like the lead singer in a hair band, playing a guitar. Did she know that I would still love it 25 years later? Cause I do). As if that wasn't enough adventure, we happen upon an infinite, previously uncharted cave system that opens up one day from the backyard (It's the Ozark mountains--it could happen!): ...ball came back in the tunnel and pulled on my jeans leg. I got back on Choc and followed her. The gigantic cavern was luminous, too. There were three more branches leading into the cavern. As we watched, three more groups came out of the branches. I wondered what happened to the other fifteen. Each of the other groups had a bedragled monkey along to draw a map of the place. Our groups got together in one large group. Every bird flew up to the second level of the cavern with a rope and secured it. The three monkeys and I climbed the ropes while the four dogs held the ropes from below. All the mice explored the smallest holes leading from the cavern to see if they were safe. I had tied a string to all of them and each of them could explore to the length of a ball of twine. The birds explored aroudn the roof and the cats we took with us. The second level was just rock protruding out from the edge of the cave all the way around. It wasn't very wide. There were exactly four tunnels to explore. We each went into one. I had walked a long ways when I discovered something about the walls. Upon examining them, I discovered they were copper! Snowball dug at them with her claws and I discovered the copper was only an inch thick. But the copper extended a long ways. I could cut it all out and not make any damage to the caves. Just then Star, not more than a kitten, Popeye, a tough old tomcat, and Lelu, a mangy manx cat came in. Star had a piece of diamond, ...

...Popeye a hunk of gold, and Lelu a sliver of silver. I knew they would be the same as my copper. Then I heard barking from below that I would recognize anywhere. Bandit had found something! We all rushed out of the cavern and climbed down the ropes with the monkeys. What I saw next astounded me. One of my white mice was black and oil was tricling out of the hole he had been exploring. I took a bucket Bandit usually carried and put it under the hole becasue the mouse had been exploring a hole above the floor. Then I took Chalk, the mouse who had discovered the oil and put him on Barker's (a little daschund) back; I told him to find water and splash it on Chalk. I started wondering where the other fifteen groups were. I told R, G, and A (the monkeys) to go and get more natural wonders and put it in their knapsacks while I went back with Bandit to look for them. I was really worried. I could tell Bandit was, too. When we got back where we started, I checked on McKinley and Mickey. They were both dozing lightly. I softly whispered "Attention!" and they both snapped to their feet, staring straight ahead, and at the same time gave a squeak and a meow. Perfect! I lavished praise on them. Then I picked a tunnel at random but saw that it was the one we had just left so I let Bandit pick, instead. He walked into one and I followed. But by then I was exhausted so I called Bandit to me. I hooked him to his dog harness, then connected it to my miniature wagon I had stopped to get. I had painted it...

And friends, we've still got something like 26 more pages of this to go!

And, um... isn't copper strip-mined?