Sunday, August 10, 2008

Wedding! Wedding! Wedding!

There's nothing like how a wedding tends to take over everything in its vicinity, and it's not even your wedding. This weekend has been all "Wedding! Wedding! Wedding!", and I did not even attend the said wedding of one of Matt's first cousins, on account of they didn't invite children. Obviously I have been all about complaining about this and all the levels upon which it is wrong (philosophically, ethically, logistically, etc.), and in debates with child-free apologists, neither of the excuses of "That's just the way most people do it these days" and "Well, it's their wedding" fly with me. Firstly, I don't care if not inviting children is trendy right now. Barring real limitations (say, the wedding is taking place in a nightclub, or a porn studio), it's rude not to invite particular members of someone's immediate family. I see it the same as if the wedding read, "Blood family members only." See? Rude!

Not inviting children also doesn't apply as one of those wedding planning whims, such as whether or not to serve cake. It's a real inconvenience to the families invited, many of whom are already at great time and expense to come to the wedding because they love you so much, and they would feel terrible if they couldn't be there to see you. Mind you, the bride and groom did arrange a hella expensive group babysitting service for the duration of the wedding, and this actually would have been a fine solution, if this babysitting had taken place AT THE WEDDING LOCATION. But nope. The babysitting was to take place at the hotel at which the families were all to stay, and the wedding and reception took place at a winery a half-hour shuttle ride from the wedding, shuttles running from 4:00-5:00 and 9:00-12:00. Seriously? Seriously, no way for a parent to check on a child, no way for a parent to respond to an emergency phone call from the service, and it's expensive. None of the people who had family obligations to go to the wedding, but also had children found this appropriate. For instance, in this wedding the groom's sister has a two-year-old and a breastfeeding three-month-old--they're not invited. She brought a family friend with her from her hometown, paying her way, so her small children could be supervised one-on-one by a familiar face. Another first cousin has a four-year-old with cerebral palsy and a six-year-old--they're not invited, and they had to sit there in Seattle, where they live, and find a local babysitter here with medical training to babysit their son. They're both doctors, so they're pretty well qualified to take care of him themselves, you know. And then there's us, flying in from Indiana, only see the folks here for a week every year--my two-year-old isn't ready to have a stranger babysit her, especially in a group setting, and so while everyone else went to this wedding, I sat at home with the kids, a strange home with not many toys, no car, the kids upset because they want Daddy, from 3:30 pm until everyone got home after midnight. Superfun.

Maybe I'm alone in this last one, but I also think it's really weird to purposefully not invite children to a WEDDING. You know, a ceremony in which you celebrate the joining of FAMILIES. A bonding experience for a new, united FAMILY. You know who really adds meaning to the concept of "family?" CHILDREN! And you know, maybe you really do think that your dream wedding shouldn't include children. Maybe you don't think that parents would do anything to keep their kids happy and well-behaved in even a very formal setting, would bring small books and toys, would take the kids for long walks outside. Maybe you really think that all your loved ones with children, all these people who made such a special effort to come and witness your joy, would let their kids throw dinner rolls and shriek and spill stuff. If you really think that, then maybe you should be the one to make a special effort to plan a wedding in which this does not happen, to plan a celebration in which your young family members can be welcome and meaningfully included. They'd like the chance to wish you joy, too, you know, especially since they only see you for a couple of days each year.

Anywho.... Boy, I went to some great garage sales on Saturday! I don't know if they just have more awesome stuff in California than they do elsewhere, or if, since garage sales aren't as popular here, they don't get picked over like they do elsewhere, but man, did I score!

A Nightmare Before Christmas shirt for a T-shirt quilt: Lots of rubber stamps, and a white ink pad! How much do I love the sun stamps, and the Christmas tree? I love them a lot.
I don't actually do screen printing, but I did order some stuff from Dharma Trading Company for freezer paper T-shirt fabric stenciling (It will be waiting for me when I get home--whee!!!), and this would work for that? Elsewise, it's just awesome:
I was so excited to spy these little wooden embroidery hoops, because I've recently read about stretching great fabric in them and hanging them on the wall as art. Dinosaurs are possibly going in here:
Matching embroidered pillowcases for pillowcase dresses:
Dinosaur temporary tattoos! The sweeties warmed the cockles of my heart by both insisting that their tattoos be placed on their left ankles, "just like Momma." If only my tattoo was awesome like a dinosaur:
A quilted pillowcase, 20"x26". It has a commercial tag, but it still looks hand-quilted to me. Sweatshop?
And an awesome pair of red Converse sneaks for Willow for next summer, and this great book called From the prairie: A child's memories, which has patterns for cloth dolls and, get this, clothes for the cloth dolls. Righteous.

The girls were invited to the rehearsal dinner (run by Matt's awesome aunt and uncle), and they were, of course, charming and well-behaved:
I, of course, ate and drank everything I could reach--gotta get my money's worth, you know, since I'm not going to the wedding. Did I mention that my children aren't invited?
But enough with the preamble...I know you want to hear the gossip about the wedding. Well, Matt came home disgusting drunk, clearly taking my personal motto to eat and drink all he could reach to heart, and he could tell me unsatisfyingly little about the actual reception, because everything was all, "No, I don't know what the cake tasted like. I missed the cake because I was at the bar." Yuck. But he did tell me, and I later got all the dish, that the groom's sister, the one with the two-year-old and the breastfeeding three-month-old, actually missed her own brother's wedding. Baby Hunter became hysterical every time his Momma tried to leave him, and eventually, after many desperate attempts to leave, because obviously Karin so much wanted to watch her brother get married, he lost all composure and just had a huge nervous breakdown. Karin missed everything. She says, and of course she's correct, that this obviously wouldn't have happened if Hunter had been invited, because not only would she not have had to try to leave him, but she could have nursed him if he became upset and worn him to keep him happy and comfortable. It makes me really sad to think about how unhappy the situation was for her. Me, I'm not unhappy about the situation. I'm just resentful.
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