Dragon Rider Smut Book Report: Iron Flame is Stupid But I Read It Anyway

 

Iron Flame by Rebecca Yarros
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Welcome to the second meeting of the Dragon Rider Smut Book Club! Here's what happened in the first book. 

SPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILIERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILER

In the second book, Violet and Xaden are still having the same fight over and over again.

Awesome.

Sometimes in a book, a character will make me feel like a literal space alien thanks to relational choices that they make that are so normalized within the book. Like, am *I* the crazy one for thinking that You Must Tell Me Everything is a crazy rule to set for your partner, AND that You Must Ask Me Anything You Want to Know And I’ll Only Tell You Something If You Ask Me is a crazy boundary? This is such a stupid fight to have for most of two books, because these are such stupid relationship rules!

Or am I actually literally a space alien?

I also think Violet doesn’t need to keep the secrets that she’s keeping from her friends, but Fucking Malek, Rhiannon, you are as bad as Violet with wanting to know everything going on inside people’s heads! Can you not give Violet a little space, please? Am I a literal space alien for thinking that it’s crazy for friends who are older than twelve to be this wrapped up in OMG I can tell something’s wrong what is it, um I’m good nothing’s wrong, no seriously tell me I know something’s wrong, etc. etc. ad infinitum.

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Violet really started to also get on my nerves with how often she’s got a tummy ache in this book. Every time someone says something emotionally charged, or she can’t tell her bestie a secret, or there’s a lick of tension in the air her stomach hurts, or it drops, or it squeezes, or sometimes for a change of pace her throat might tighten or she might feel nauseated. I’d have to go back and check, which I really don’t want to do, to see if this is true, but it would be marginally cool and an interesting-ish authorial move if this only started to happen after Varrish tortures her. Like, Yarros has always made a point about how Violet lives in her body, with her constant pain and joint issues (she learned the word “subluxate” for this book, so that’s fun), but it would be interesting if the experience being tortured for several days has caused her to hold that trauma in her body and express it through the one place Varrish couldn’t physically hurt, her tum-tum. It’s very possible that I’m wrong, though, and her tummy hurt throughout the entire book and I only noticed it in the latter half when it started getting on my nerves.

Side note, but I’m glad that we’re not raping people here, even during torture. Yarros gets a bonus star from me for that. Also the torture scene was genuinely good! I mean, it's so sad that Violet was tortured, I guess, but it's amazing how the quality of the book jumps up when she's genuinely in peril and not overpowered and also continually pandered to.

The book’s big climactic battle is stupid, but I’m also giving Yarros a bonus star because it was so stupid but simultaneously fast-paced that I was able to relate it beat by beat to my entire family, who have not read this series, with much hilarity. It was a lot of “okay, so in the first book Violet had this enemy and she killed him, but then the administration secretly brought him back to life and he’d totally changed and was a super good guy, so you’re not going to BELIEVE what happened when they went to check on the ward stone,” and “okay remember how Andarna is the most special because she’s a baby, well it turns out that she’s actually the MOST most special,” and “so then Xaden couldn’t hold out and he was about to die and that means that Violet was going to die and THAT means that everyone in Basgiath was going to die before they could repair the ward stone and THAT means that everyone in Navarre was going to die so you are not going to BELIEVE what he did!” My audience was rolling with laughter. It was awesome.

And after all that the only super important character who died was Violet’s mother, who was underutilized anyway so whatever. I did not buy her redemption arc that she was only being the world’s worst parent so she could secretly be the world’s best parent blech. I wish Yarros had really leaned in and made her some kind of secret venin or venin collaborator--I am so sad to give up my headcanon that she murdered Violet’s father to keep the venin secret, but I guess I can still keep my theory that *something* suss happened regarding his death.

Onyx Storm predictions:

• Violet and Xaden are going to endlessly fight about Xaden’s venin status. They will fight the same fight every time they’re alone, they will say the same things every time they fight, and it will be boring.
• Violet’s father will turn out to have secretly been… something. A rebel working against her mother? Also a venin but he also never used it so he can be a model for Xaden? I dunno, but Yarros is obsessed with Violet’s entire family so there’s definitely more to the father’s story.
• I still think there’s going to be something weird about Violet’s ancestry. Maybe she was adopted or stolen from venin parents or she was a baby venin but forgot or her parents did experiments on her.

Final thought: the infantry was my favorite, and I don’t understand why they only had one scene together and then fell off the face of the Earth. I hope Onyx Storm has more infantry!

P.S. View all my reviews.

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Six More Sites To Go Until I Win Wilbear Wright

Y'all know I love myself a quest. 

A scavenger hunt. 

A checklist. 

A BINGO game. 

A trail.

If there's a prize I can earn, even better!

So this Aviation Trail checklist of 17 sites in and around Dayton, Ohio, that are important to the history of flight, has me by the throat this Spring. I want to visit all the places on the list, from cemeteries to college libraries to what looks like a warehouse on the grounds of a county airport. I want to stamp little stamps on all the sites. I want to earn a stuffed teddy bear wearing a flight jacket and goggles whose name is Wilbear Wright. 

And I will drag along whomever in my family can be tricked into getting into the car with me.

This particular adventure was an easy enough start, since we had to drive through Dayton to return the older kid back to college on the last day of her Spring Break. Might as well detour over to visit the first stop on the list, the Dayton Aviation Heritage National Historical Park!

It's been 7 and a half years since the kids and I last visited this national park site (which means I could also snag its passport stamp, yay!!!), and my partner had never been, so even the stuff that the older kid and I have seen before felt fresh and new to explore:

I'm still astounded that Wilbur and Orville built this dresser as children. On my last visit, though, I don't think I noticed the signage that suggested that the boys got their technical minds and interest in working with their hands from their mother. Yay for strong female role models!

I really want to visit Kitty Hawk some day. There's a passport stamp for it, after all!

I want to cross-stitch this on a pillow. I think it's hilarious:

If the brothers hadn't also invented the aircraft propeller, their planes wouldn't have worked. This, then, is their greatest innovation:

OMG I found a display that contains my bear. Don't worry, Wilbear Wright, I'm coming to claim you soon!

There wasn't a ton of stuff to see from the brothers' childhood home, which Henry Ford bought and had moved to Michigan, but here's their porch bench:

The second floor of the visitor center houses artifacts from the Wright Brothers' print shop that was located here:

There's also a parachute museum on the site, and I was interested to see that we got some of our parachute innovation through Project Paper Clip, yikes:

Tangent, but this parachute museum inspired me to look up where I can go tandem skydiving. The older kid said she'd love to tandem skydive, too, so someday this might be us!

OMG look who it is. I'm coming back for you, Wilbear!

Our time at the visitor center happened to line up with a ranger-led program that took us across the park to the location of the Wright Cycle Company:

Here's a recreation of their workshop in the original space:

Check out the cork handgrips and wood rims on that bike!

This is the original floor, so we're treading the ground that Wilbur and Orville trod!

Huffman Prairie, the second location of the Dayton Aviation Heritage National Historical Site and another precious stamp on the Aviation Heritage Trail, is only open on Wednesday and Thursdays, for some baffling reason, but happily, Paul Laurence Dunbar's house, the third location of the national park site and another precious stamp on the Aviation Heritage Trail, is only open on the weekends!

Here's Dunbar's bicycle, purchased from the Wright Cycle Company:

I'm conflicted about Dunbar, who was a brilliant poet but who abused his wife and actually nearly killed her before she managed to escape. He had a tough life and was the target of racism at all levels both overt and institutionalized and it's not like they had therapy back then, but still, I can't like someone who abuses their wife. But look at his darling little baby dress that he wore back when he was fresh and new and didn't know what his life would hold:

Side note: the stitching is sublime:

The last time we visited, I was also struck by the thoughtful and compassionate caption for this cane that hides a secret flask of alcohol. Dunbar was one of history's best code switchers, and he seemed to move seamlessly through various economic stations and within various cultural norms, but it never quite worked out the way he probably wanted, and he seemed to have always felt like he had something to hide:

Afterwards, I longed to sneak in just one or two more heritage trail sites, but the kid really did need to get back to school, so I just sighed a petulant sigh and took her. Little does she know that the trip to bring her home at the end of the semester will encompass a couple more sites, ahem, and then maybe just one early summer day trip and I'll finally be able to bring my Wilbear home.

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If You Stand Still Long Enough, I Will Sew You (and Your Roommates) Easter Baskets

One of my kids doesn't like chocolate, so I've gotten into the habit of doing my Easter prep super early, before the stores get picked over, always in search of that singular non-chocolate (and also non-white chocolate, because in the kid's mind, the only acceptable cocoa is hot cocoa, and even then only sometimes) Easter bunny. 

This year, the sole non-chocolate alternative within driving distance was a blue raspberry gummy astronaut, of all things, from Wal-mart, which I'm officially avoiding during Trump's presidency, but it's better than Amazon and I gave up Target for Lent, so whatever, Wal-mart. Take my four dollars, I guess. 

The past couple of years I've happily tossed the older kid's Easter treats willy-nilly into a box to mail to her, but that was when I still had a daughter at home to do the whole Easter basket ceremony with. This year it'll be just me and my partner eating bunny ear cinnamon rolls and drinking mimosas, sob, so I don't know, I guess I felt like making a fuss. 

I also felt like making a fuss over the younger kid's dorm roommates, whom I have been steadily wooing into bonus daughter-hood all year. I've made so much progress that one or the other tends to pop into our weekly family Zoom calls, so obviously they need Easter baskets, too!

And all the more excuse to set the Cricut up at the kitchen table for the day!

The younger kid and her roommates are probably tired of getting all things baby blue, but that's their class color and I think it's adorable. They also might be tired of getting everything matching and monogrammed with their initials, but how else would I get to live out my dream of having triplets?

Behold the Easter triplets!

The roommates' baskets have bubbles, chalk, glow sticks, and candy. My own kid's baskets are overstuffed, as usual. Candy Easter is our third favorite holiday!

I used the pattern from the We All Sew Easter basket tutorial, but I went my own way with the construction. I also used the Pellon 809 interfacing that I have on hand, not the Pellon Shape-Flex that the tutorial calls for, so you can see that my baskets have less structure that the ones in that tutorial. They stand up well, though, and they weren't a bitch to sew like they would have been with a stiffer interfacing, so I'm pleased with how they turned out.

My older kid doesn't have to abide by baby blue, and she's in a single so she doesn't have to have her name on everything, either:

Now that the kids' Easter stuff is all prepped and ready to mail, I should probably decorate for Easter this week. A big part of me doesn't really feel like putting forth the effort when the kids aren't here to celebrate with, but I'm at the point where I really need to cut the constant moping shit out and, like, find myself again or something. I really like Easter eggs and candy and festive holiday coasters, so maybe I'll just lock in on that.

Oh, I also like buntings! I bet I could do one with appliqued bunny Peeps and it would be really cute.

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March 2025 Pumpkin+Bear Updates: Now You, Too, Can Have a Quilted Flyers Logo Hoodie!

I really like making things in multiples--it's a great way to perfect techniques, and I enjoy the process of working out a best practice as I go.

The problem is that often, I'm the only one in the family who wants the thing I've just made, ahem. Why everybody else does not want their very own eclipse bunting or witch hat or quilted Flyers logo hoodie, I do not know, but it definitely hinders my preferred process.

Thank goodness, then, for my Pumpkin+Bear etsy shop!

I burned with desire to make a second quilted Flyers logo hoodie (as I was making mine, I had an idea for a better way to do the interfacing that I OBVIOUSLY needed to test out), so I bought a second thrift store hoodie, quilted a new Flyers logo to it--my newly improved process worked perfectly!--and you can now find it listed in my shop:

I used the exact same quilting cottons for this one as I did for my own quilted logo hoodie, but you can see that with this one, I got much less fraying on the edges, thanks to my improved interfacing technique: I interfaced the fabric BEFORE I put it through the Cricut, which had no problem cutting through the extra layer:

I really lucked out with this hoodie, too. I'm hoping that hoodies will be easier to find off-season in the thrift shops, but this was a winter find, and it's a terrific score! It's a thrifted, like-new GapFit XL with no visible wear or damage. It feels like a thick cotton sweatshirt fabric, but I'd be happily shocked if it was actually 100% cotton. The hoodie's measurements are as follows:

*Chest Circumference: 49"
*Circumference at Hem: 49"
*Top of the Shoulder to the Hem: 28"
*Armpit to the Hem: 18.5"
*Armpit to the Cuff: 20.5"


I washed the hoodie before I sewed onto it, but I didn't wash it afterwards, so the quilted Flyers logo is still super crisp and not yet fluffy and crinkly. I'm second-guessing myself a little about not washing it before I listed it, since the soft quilting-ness won't be visible until it's washed and so maybe that will surprise the buyer, but I DID mention it in the listing, and we all know how good buyers are about thoroughly reading the listings, right?

Ahem.

I really like the size of the logo compared to the size of the hoodie, but next I sort of want to experiment with making a different-sized quilted hoodie, so I need to come to some sort of percentage calculation of logo size compared to hoodie front:

That can be for another time, though, because during the kids' Spring Break shopping I thrifted another hoodie just for me, so now I can figure out how to make a quilted Blue Jackets logo!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Make a Giant Upcycled Cardboard Minecraft Grass Block

 

This is an old tutorial that I recently realized that I've never shared here before! I originally published it in Crafting a Green World way back in 2017.

Why, yes, this IS an oddly specific tutorial that I’m writing here. But what can I say? If you know a kid, do me a favor and try this: leave the computer and go ask that kid if she’d like to have a giant Minecraft grass block all of her own. I’ll wait right here, because trust me–you’ll be back, and you’ll be making this, too, and here’s how you’ll do it:

1. Score some cube-shaped cardboard boxes. This is the trickiest part of the project, because most cardboard boxes aren’t perfect cubes. You can cut down a larger cardboard box, but I volunteer weekly at a food pantry, and what I did was simply keep my eagle eyes out for the perfect type of box. One day, we got in a pallet-full of I Heart Keenwah snacks, and the boxes that those snack packs come in are perfect cubes! Tape the box closed, and you’re all set!

2. Download Minecraft grass block skin vectors. Google it, Baby! You want to find vector images so that you can size them up and down and the image will stay proportionate. My I Heart Keenwah boxes were 8 inches square, and using vector images allowed me to maintain the correct sizing of the pixels that make up the block.

You will need a top, bottom, and side image for the grass block. If you’re going to use the block as a party invitation, like we’re doing, then put the party info on the top. Resize the vector images so that they just fit on the sides of the box.

3. Print the images onto used paper. Use the back sides of paper that you’ve already used once. 

4. Cut the images to size. A guillotine paper cutter is the best and quickest way to get smooth cuts.

5. Adhere the images to the box. You know how a cube goes together, right? Four sides, a top, and a bottom are what you’ll need, and don’t forget that the sides also have a top and bottom–grass above, dirt below. Use your favorite glue or double-sided tape to attach the images to the box.

6. Is it a party? Put the party invitation on top. My partner is a graphic designer, so he redid the vector for the top of the Minecraft grass block to include the details of the party invitation. You can get the same effect by simply gluing the invitation on top, or putting it into a pocket on the side of the block.

You could actually mail these invitation, although our particular plan is to doorbell ditch them on friends’ front porches. My kiddo spent so much time playing with the blocks before they were delivered, however, that we’re considering making another set to play with at the party, and for her to keep.

P.P.S. Want to know how that long-ago party went? Here it is!

P.P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

How to Clean and Refinish Antique Door Hardware

This tutorial was originally posted over at Crafting a Green World.

My house is… well, let’s call it “well-loved.” Door hardware aside, the house as a whole is wonky and inconvenient, quirky in a way that modern houses just aren’t, and whatever its quirks, I generally either genuinely like them or politely ignore them.

I do get curious about some things, though, and the four antique mortise locks on the four doors in the original part of my house are among those curiosity-inspiring objects. Although their keys are long gone, their keyholes are delightfully Victorian, but all the exposed pieces, plus the equally interesting door hinges, are covered in several thick layers of sloppily-applied paint. I don’t have any kind of yearning to restore my wonky old house to its original condition, but it would be pretty cool to clean and refurbish just those antique door fixtures, just to see what they actually look like…

So that’s what I did!

Step 1: Make sure you’re not going to get lead poisoning. 

Lead poisoning is not worth playing with, so my first step before messing with ANYTHING old, from thrift store dishes to the awesome windows I found by the side of the road last fall, is to check it with a lead swab. These came out lead-free, although I tested again every time I uncovered a new layer of paint.

Sooo… these fixtures look awful. Once you realize that I’ve been living in my house for approximately 8 years and never before so much as blinked an eye at the pitiful state of these pieces, you’ll understand how house-proud I apparently am NOT.

Step 1: Remove the fixtures from the door. 

For me, this involved muscling through five layers of paint to even get to the screw heads, and then muscling against those layers of paint to unscrew each screw. Fortunately, just a quick spray of WD-40 was all it took to get each rusty, painted-over screw turning.

You don’t need the water to be THIS soapy. I just like bubbles!

Step 2: Remove the paint. 

There are a few methods for removing paint from old hardware, but the easiest, most eco-friendly way is simply to grab a beat-up old crock pot and boil the snot out of everything. I did this out on my back deck one sunny afternoon. Set the crock pot to low, add a squirt (or fifteen squirts, in my case…) of dish soap, and walk away. A few hours later, you can fish each piece out with tongs, set it on a piece of clean newspaper, and peel away the paint or gently scrape it off. If any paint still seems stuck, put the piece back in the crock pot for another couple of hours.

When you’re finished, your piece won’t look pretty, but it WILL look paint-free!

Step 3: Get distracted and therefore make more work for yourself. 

You’re supposed to thoroughly dry each piece after scraping all the paint off. But… I don’t know. One kid might have needed help factoring a polynomial, or the other kid might have wanted me to drive her to pick up holds at the library, or maybe a friend texted me, or heck, maybe I saw a squirrel. Who knows? Whatever happened to interrupt me after paint scraping but before thorough drying, it resulted in me eventually wandering back by the deck and noticing that all of my nice door hardware that I had spent all that time cleaning off had rust ALL over it.

Pro tip: Your cleaned pieces will rust VERY quickly if not dried thoroughly!

Step 4: Remove rust from the door hardware. 

If your piece doesn’t have any paint on it, but it’s dirty and rusty, you can start here. Or if you’re like me, and you have the attention span of a gerbil, continue here! Fortunately, removing a thin layer of rust is SUPER simple. I put my metal pieces in a shallow dish, covered them with vinegar, and let them sit for a couple more hours on my deck.

After a couple of hours, I took the pieces inside and used a soft cloth and cool running water to rub away the residue and rinse off the vinegar.

THEN I DRIED EACH PIECE THOROUGHLY.

Step 5: Polish the hardware. 

Your end result isn’t going to be a gorgeous, like-new piece of door hardware. I mean, fifty years ago someone first painted over that piece for a reason, right? So I was a little disappointed, sure, but not too terribly surprised that my clean, rust-free, paint-free door hardware shows a lot of wear. The pieces are also brass-plated, not solid brass, and the brass plating has worn away in several spots.

You actually CAN re-plate antique pieces, but I’m not going to. Instead, I polished each piece with #0000 steel wool. You’ll find this in your local hardware store with the sandpaper, not with the cleaning supplies, because this is fine steel wool for polishing, not scrubbing.

Step 6 (optional): Repair and restore. 

after I had cleaned and polished the pieces, I was actually able to see a manufacturer’s stamp on the hinges that were previously completely covered with paint and crud. That particular stamp was only used between 1920 and 1934, so I’m pretty stoked!

Unfortunately, I can’t find any specific information on my mortise locks, although I do hope to restore those to functionality. Here’s a site that sells parts for several varieties of antique locks, and another site that sells skeleton keys that, while they aren’t guaranteed to work on any particular lock, aren’t so spendy that they’re not worth gambling on.

Step 7 (optional): Seal the hardware.

I did not seal my door hardware, because I’m willing to live with it a while first. My area doesn’t get terribly humid, and I’m curious to see how the hardware will fare without being sealed. If its condition starts to deteriorate, I have no problem with the extra steps of popping it back off the door, cleaning the rust off (again), and sealing it.

However, if you want to ensure that the pieces that you worked so hard on stay as nice and shiny as they look right this second, you can coat them with any sealant that works on metal. None of your options are particularly eco-friendly, but if it keeps an antique piece out of the waste stream and allows you to get by without buying new hardware, it’s a net good.

The final result isn’t door hardware that looks brand-new, but it IS door hardware that looks clean, feels authentic, and is much, much, MUCH preferable to what it looked like before!

Now I just have to scrape those same five layers of paint off of the door, too…

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