Wednesday, February 26, 2025

Do You Want to be in the Dragon Rider Smut Book Club with Me? We're Reading Fourth Wing!


Fourth Wing (The Empyrean, #1)Fourth Wing by Rebecca Yarros
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

So, based on how partly enjoyable but mostly cringe I’ve found the much-hyped ACOTAR series so far, I’d expected that I’d also snark read my way through dragon rider smut the same way I’m snark reading my way through fairy smut.

But slap my face, because I’m actually genuinely enjoying the Fourth Wing series?

Mind you, it’s still VERY snarkable, but whereas ACOTAR was over-the-top cringe and was done no favors by its writing (HOW many times are you going to say the words “high lord,” FEYRE?!?!?), Fourth Wing has dialed the world-building down juuuuuust enough that it comes out on the right side of cartoonish, and though most of its twists and climactic plot beats are obvious, a couple are, happily, genuine surprises!


SPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILERSPOILER













Speaking of obvious plot beats… Basgiath War College’s rules are super draconian, which is how you know that Violet lives in the Evil Empire. You also know pretty much the second Violet whips out her family book of folk tales and starts reciting stories about the evil venin and their wyvern familiars that we’re definitely going to see evil venin and their wyvern familiars at some point, as well as probably all the other stuff in that story that I’m too lazy to look back up right now. Other corny tropes: gosh, y’all aren’t going to believe this, but it turns out that even though Violet is SO SMOL and SO WEAK, she is also the MOST SPECIAL dragon rider, because she gets TWO dragons, including the BEST dragon--gaspeth! Also, she’s got a boy best friend who loves her but is smotheringly too overprotective of her, and y’all. There is a guy who Hates her for Reasons, but also he’s hot. But he’s Troubled, and he’s got a History, so gosh, Violet probably better stay away from him!

But I dunno. Whereas Feyre and Tamlin annoyed the snot out of me, like, immediately, I actually like Violet and Xaden a lot. I’m terrified that they’re going to have this same stupid fight that they keep having over and over and over again for the entire series (Why won’t Xaden tell you every single thing in his mind and heart and all his rebellion plans immediately without you even having to ask? Because that’s stupid! And impossible!), and they have the cheeziest sex scenes, but hey. They also have no chemistry, so they’re working with the tools on hand.



ANYWAY, other than some cornball elements and obvious plot beats, this is a solid fantasy creation. I love the world-building, clunky as it is, with all its nichey little rules about magic and how to act around dragons, etc. I love the over-the-top deadly boarding school vibe--it’s giving Scholomance, which I also love. I love a crafty heroine who goes morally grey to solve her problems. And although I liked Xaden more when he low-key acted like he hated Violet, he’s still overall an interesting character, and I dig that he’s got “secrets” yet to be revealed.

And yes, fine. I LOVE it when there’s a good tag line, and Fourth Wing has the best tag line I’ve read in a looooong time. I want that shit cross-stitched on a pillow. I want to DIY a Xaden Riorsen flight jacket and stick a homemade Iron Squad patch on it.



Okay, my predictions for the future books, because I am DEFINITELY going to continue this series:

  1. At some point, Xaden will penetrate Violet with his shadow thingies. I’m sure that’s the main tag in a billion fanfics already, so Yarros might as well just lean into it.
  2. There has got to be some more shit going down with Violet’s family. Is maybe her mom going to turn out to be a venin? Or… her mom sacrificed her dad to them as part of an alliance? Or maybe her mom had an affair with a venin and Violet is actually a venin’s child and her mom murdered her dad when he found out?
  3. Something about Andarna, but I really do not know what because other than stopping time twice she’s pretty useless.

P.S. View all my reviews.

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Friday, February 21, 2025

Can You Go to Philadelphia Without Visiting Independence National Historical Park? I Apparently Can't!

In the past twelve months, every single time I have put a toe into Philadelphia, I have found myself, at some point, in Independence National Historical Park.

Most recently, my partner and I spent a couple of days in Philadelphia after dropping our younger kid off at college nearby. We tried to do a few non-national park things, like eating cheesesteaks (of course!) and having drinks at the Library Bar (which I didn't really like, ahem)--

I got the Chocolate River, but it ended up kind of grossing me out because there was a giant ice cube in it, and chocolate shavings ON the ice cube. Hard chocolate plus ice doesn't feel like a palatable combination, shudder. I wish now I'd gotten the Candy Man instead.

--but somehow, inevitably, on our last morning in the city, we found ourselves here:



It's the low season at Independence Hall, I guess, so they were offering first-come, first-served group tours without the $1 pre-registration.

Y'all KNOW how I feel about saving money!

Even with that incentive, the crowds were so low that it was nice to be able to walk around in the gated site and take photos without having to worry about crowds. 

And even though it was soooo cold, it was such a pretty day!


I really like how park rangers get to have their own personalities on the job. I love chatting with them, and I love attending their programs, hearing their own unique perspectives on the content. To be fair, I'm still pissed at the park ranger at the Ulysses S. Grant National Historical Site who told me that homeschoolers are "less curious" than traditionally schooled children (oh, the comebacks I've thought up for her in the intervening years!), but the time that I recently spent roasting Andrew Jackson with a park ranger at Johnstown Flood National Memorial are some of my happiest since sending the kids off to college. 

All that to say that the park ranger who conducted our tour of Independence Hall was A Character.

He led a great tour--showed us all the proper stuff and gave us all the cool information--


--but I felt like he high-key thought we were stupid, and it was hilarious. First of all, he kept calling us "folks," but in that way that your one high school history, teacher, say, who was an older dude and clearly longing for retirement but he needed to stick it out a couple more years to get his full pension, would talk to you. Like, condescending and kind of chastising? You obviously haven't studied enough and you don't remember all the nice history you were taught and what kind of person does that make you?

Honestly, we probably deserved the park ranger's tone of chastisement and condescension, because he kept asking us really hard questions and visibly having to push down his annoyance when nobody knew the answer. I helped out the group by knowing one answer--"Articles of Confederation!"--but yikes, dates are my weak spot. And everyone else's, too, apparently! 

Oh, his best question, though! He was trying to get us to name the event he was describing, and none of us in our group of probably twenty knew what the fuck he was talking about. Visibly irritated, he finally said, "Most of you probably have a picture of this event in your pockets!" I was all, huh... maybe something about George Washington? Or Alexander Hamilton? I was literally about to suggest the ten-dollar founding father without a father when the ranger finally broke and exclaimed, "The Continental Congress! It's right there on the back of every two-dollar bill!"

I lost control of myself at that point and sort of stepped to the back of the group so he wouldn't notice me silently losing my mind with laughter, and found there two other wayward souls who were also snickering. He was just clearly so mad at how stupid we were! But seriously--the two-dollar bill!?! I haven't seen one of those in... I don't even know how long! I used to save them and spray glitter on them for the Tooth Fairy to put under the kids' pillows because they're so special, but I had to stop because I couldn't find anymore. Like, ever. Who on earth still has a two-dollar bill in their pocket, much less so consistently that they remember what's on the back of the bicentennial version

OMG it was awesome. I haven't felt like my high school self in a billion years, and I think I really needed that.

Obviously, even though I was literally right there a month ago, I had to go back to see the Liberty Bell afterwards. For, you know, my partner's sake! Surely he wouldn't want to leave without seeing it!

Yeah, you can clearly see that I'm just gritting my teeth and enduring it solely for my partner's sake...


I'll just point out here for the umpteenth time how well-designed this spot is. The Liberty Bell is on display with Independence Hall in the background, and it's just such a cool scene.

Whenever my partner and I visit a city, he will NOT stop talking to the various solicitors and other denizens who approach him, I swear to god. He has literally taken those stupid CDs that people try to hand you in New York City, and those stupid tourist maps and tourist "newspapers," and once upon a time walking back to our hotel late at night in Nashville, a woman came up to us to ask for gas money, my partner STOPPED TO TALK TO HER, and I 100% left his ass and kept on walking. If you're not going to be reasonable you can get mugged on your own, Buddy!

He gave her twenty bucks, and I was absolutely gleeful in pointing her out to him the next night, in the exact same place doing the exact same thing. 

So on this morning, I had lectured him before we left the hotel about not talking to strangers, no matter what they said to you. I hadn't had any issues when I'd come to the city with the younger kid, but when I took the older kid we'd had to steer around a couple of people trying to accost us on the Metro and then another person on the sidewalk, so I was not up for any nonsense on this trip.

As we were walking away from the national park site, though, a person who presented as an international tourist stopped us on the street corner and asked, "Is this where Liberty Hall is?" We were right in between both Independence Hall and the Liberty Bell building, so I pointed both out to him and told him where to go if he wanted to see either of them up close, he thanked me and walked off, and the second he was out of earshot my partner was all, "AND WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT I'D LIKE TO KNOW?!?"

Dude, I'm allowed to talk to strangers because I can tell the difference between a lost tourist and a career mugger!

And then I cooled his irritation with another cheesesteak, because nobody can be mad while eating cheesesteaks!

So far every time I've visited Independence Hall it's been with a different member of my family, each of whom I insist must be "shown" the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall, etc. But now that they've all individually seen it, along with me three entire times, what on earth excuse am I going to make to visit again?

Stay tuned, I guess, because I'll think of something!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Thursday, February 13, 2025

Rainbows and Red Wings: I Went To a Philadelphia Flyers Game on Pride Night!

I guess that going to NHL games has become one of my empty-nest hobbies, since I went to my very first game the day after I dropped my very first kid off at college for the very first time. It's a way more fun pastime than the mid-life crisis I'm currently working on ramping up!

Is it coincidence that both of my children just happened to enroll in colleges next door to NHL franchises that I really like? Honestly, yes, but the drop-off after Winter Break always feels even sadder to me than the Fall Semester drop-off, and there is nothing better to cheer one up after sadly dropping their beloved baby off at school than a long ride on the Septa, a long walk through the frozen parking lot, and this on the horizon:


Lol at the ubiquitous flattened Girl Scout cookie box. I don't know whose troop had the genuinely brilliant idea to sell Girl Scout cookies in the arena parking lot, but you are supposed to take all your trash with you when you leave, ahem:


Okay, and what's the only thing that could be even better than going to a regular NHL game? Going to an NHL game on Pride Night!


The NHL, like most (all?) male sports leagues, has a homophobia problem that's absolutely disgusting, so it's extra exciting when I can be part of an overtly queer-welcoming event. Because dude. Bisexual women in long-term heterosexual relationships also appreciate representation! The Flyers team also includes one of the most committed advocates for queer representation in hockey, #21 Scott Laughton. Also, here's their TikTok:


So overall, it was just really nice to be there on Pride Night and feel like (hope that?) for the Flyers, at least, Pride Night is more than just set dressing.

I'm sorry to say, though, that although the Flyers Pride logo is cool as hell, the vinyl on the shirts felt really cheap, so I didn't spend my mortgage on any merch. Don't tell their intellectual property lawyers, but a couple of days ago I used Photoshop to break the Flyers logo into layers that I can cut with my Cricut and I'm going to piece and quilt my own Pride logo Flyers sweatshirt, ahem.

Now, you guys. What's the only thing could possibly be even better than going to a real NHL game on Pride Night?

Well, when I was shopping for Flyers tickets, I found a couple of resale tickets for a crazy good price, considering that they were second row center ice just behind the away team penalty box. The caption also said that the tickets included access to something called the SHIFT4 Club, which omg you guys. It turns out I bought resale tickets from a season tickets holder, and the tickets included access to a VIP club with all-inclusive food and drinks:


I literally researched to find the exact time that doors opened for this club (90 minutes before the game), and my partner and I got there when it opened, and then we FEASTED!


I am eating proletariat food in the photo above, but my partner had a full-on steak with mashed potatoes and asparagus.

They even had boxes of popcorn ready to take back to your seats, which we balanced with two hard ciders, two hot dogs, a tray of French fries, and an order of chicken strips while we made our way down to the best seats I may ever have at an NHL game:


I mean, you guys. How good are these seats?!?


Happy Pride, indeed!



Also, Gritty!!!!!!!


I was too busy enjoying myself to take a ton of photos, but it was a good game! 


Not super high scoring, and the Red Wings didn't play nearly as aggressively as I'd expected them to, but Philadelphia played nice and fast around them.

And we even made it on the TV! Kind of...



I think it counts, lol. I've got my orange hat on and everything!

And during the intermissions, we ran back to the VIP club for more snacks...


...and then juggled all our new snacks back to our seats to watch more hockey:


The Red Wings played a shockingly clean game (ahem), so I only got to enjoy a visitor to the penalty box once:


And then when Larkin was in the penalty box, I was equally shocked to hear all the horrific slurs the Flyers fans around me were screaming at him the whole time. Philly sports fans are a WHOLE MOOD, y'all.

Another thrilling first? My first overtime! The Flyers scored just a few seconds into the first overtime, though, and then, glory of glories, the victory cuddle pile happened to take place right in front of my seat:


Lol at the dude having to physically hold the door to the penalty box closed so the players don't crash through it and all fall on the floor:


It was such a good game! I can't wait to go to another Flyers game after another school drop-off, this time wearing my homemade quilted Pride logo sweatshirt.

Also, my partner literally pulled a chicken strip out of his coat pocket to eat on the walk back to the hotel.

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, road trips to weird old cemeteries, looming mid-life crisis, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Tuesday, February 4, 2025

I Made Greek Alphabet Blocks from Cardstock, Because Even College Students Learn Better with Manipulatives

It is completely unsurprising to me that the homeschool kid who knew more about Greek mythology than anyone I have ever met is now a college freshman studying Ancient Greek.

It's actually turned out to be her most rigorous class--more than the math classes, more than the classes that required multi-page papers, more than the upper-level literature class she took as a first-semester freshman! I took a year of Ancient Greek when I was in grad school, but when I looked at her homework last semester, I was all, "Um, your teacher is a LOT harder than mine was. You should probably sign up for a peer tutor, ahem..."

Anyway, you'll never out-study this kid, and she doesn't actually *need* these manipulatives, because her class blew through the alphabet stuff back in late August, but when I wanted to put something light and handmade in her care package this month, I remembered this set of DIY Greek Alphabet Blocks that I purchased and downloaded way back in 2017. 

Because a vacation is no fun if you don't study for it!

Unfortunately, the shop where I purchased them is currently taking a break, which is a bummer because this set of blocks comes together perfectly.

Tediously, but perfectly!

I experimented with white glue, super glue, and double-sided tape, but the quickest, easiest, and by far best is hot glue. I also recommend super thick cardstock for a project like this, a bone folder, and a good movie to keep you from getting bored.

It really does take a long time to cut these out, fold them, and assemble and glue them, but they came out so great!

You can't quite do the words perfectly without accents--


--but nevertheless, I think she'll have fun spelling things out:


I mean, if you don't use alphabet blocks to spell out Greek curses for motivation while studying, then are you even a college student?

P.S. I post on my Craft Knife Facebook page all. The. Time, sometimes even while I'm in Greece! Come see!

Thursday, January 30, 2025

I Learned a New Trick, and Now I'm Going to Film Myself Crafting Everything

I have been wanting to figure out how to do the thing that all the cool craft TikTokers do, in which they film a hyperlapse of themselves creating a project from start to finish.

But I couldn't quite figure out how they were doing it! One creator posted that he used a Go Pro strapped to his chest, which... that's a hard no for me. I wanted something more like a nature film, with a stationary camera mount that has my entire workspace in its field of view. I do NOT want something strapped to my body that I'm going to forget about and end up taking to the toilet with me. Just... no.

I swear I thought for months about this, wondering if I could set my tripod up on top of my table without getting too much in my way, or if I needed something more like a boom to swing the camera over my space, or if maybe I should just nail a couple of straps to the ceiling and duct tape my camera to them.

But then randomly this week, as I was about to sew a Pumpkin+Bear shop order, I was all, "What if I just stick my ring light on a shelf and hold it there with my giant dictionary?"

It's inelegant, and with the added weight that entire shelf is definitely going to come down on my head and kill me one of these times, but by golly, it worked!

And boom, that's what it looks like when I sew a custom American Girl doll face mask!

Next up, I need to make a couple of kite paper window stars in my kid's school colors to send to her in her next care package (her dorm room has a wonderful sunny window), so I'm going to film that, too! And then I wanted to figure out how to quilt a Philadelphia Flyers logo to go onto a sweatshirt, so I can film that, and THEN I want to send my other kid some DIY Ancient Greek alphabet blocks in her care package, so I can film that, too.

And then, honestly, I may film myself reading for a few hours, because if I'm not DIYing something, I really just want to be reading.

P.S. If you want to sew your own American Girl doll face mask, here's how.

P.P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, dog-walking mishaps, encounters with Chainsaw Helicopters, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!

Monday, January 27, 2025

Back and Forth Through Pennsylvania: Fort Necessity

I tell you what, when your kid attends college in Pennsylvania, it really gives you a chance to knock out those Pennsylvania national park sites!

I've done more USA roadtripping in the past 10 months than I usually do, and Pennsylvania is currently my favorite state to visit national park sites in. One, they're all free, and two, they're (mostly) all open 7 days a week! On this recent trip home from Philadelphia, my partner and I dared to drive home on a Wednesday, and were punished for our audacity by having First State National Historical Park, Hampton National Historical Site, and Monocacy National Battlefield all closed. 

But our good buddy Fort Necessity was open! On a Wednesday, even! 

A place that I had a blast visiting with the kids back when they were little and we were on yet another magical homeschool adventure probably isn't the best place for me to visit directly after dropping them off for their Spring semesters, because for some reason I always feel so much more bereft after this drop-off than I do after the Fall semester drop-off--which is why I *wanted* to visit First State National Historical Park, Hampton National Historical Site, or Monocacy National Battlefield instead, humph. But obviously the only thing worse than visiting a national park site and feeling sad that I miss my kids would be NOT visiting a national park site at all. 

A twelve-hour drive with NO learning?!? And NO passport stamps?!? Heaven forfend!

So bravely (and nostalgically) I marched onward to the fort.

And hallelujah, the fort's bathroom! My partner and I were currently in a fight because that morning he'd randomly called down to have the valet bring the car around while I was literally in the bathroom still getting ready for the day(?!?), and THEN when I met him in the lobby after freaking out to finish getting dressed and packed as fast as I could (I am positive I left something behind in that hotel room...), he told me he was going to go start the car and then come back inside to check out, so I walked ten feet away to the coffee carafes, but apparently while I had my back turned fiddling around with the coffee he indeed came back inside and checked out, but then he went back outside to the car and just sat there at the curb without saying so much as a peep to me, so I stood in the hotel lobby like an asshole for several minutes, sipping coffee and thinking, "Gee, it's taking him a long time to start the car..." 

Just between us, I feel like I have grown discernibly stupider in the past five years. And also, SO HAS HE.

ANYWAY, I would have happily wet my pants that morning before I asked to stop for a bathroom break, so thank goodness for a heated, comfy visitor center bathroom... with limited edition Halloween Bath and Body Works foaming hand soaps?

I love how hard some national park site's museums go. I blew the below photo up extra-large for you so you can admire the realistic expression of anguish on that poor guy's face as he supports his dead comrade: 


Below is one of my all-time favorite history facts:


When I die, bury me like Braddock!

I thought this was a really interesting way to preserve a cultural artifact:


It's a modern recreation of a war belt that could have circulated in the mid-1700s, but the beads that make it up are authentic glass trade beads from the early- to mid-1700s. It's so much more interesting than a modern plastic recreation war belt plus a display pile of these authentic glass beads would have been. It's also powerfully subversive, in that it reminds you that the beads that Europeans traded to the Native peoples were then used by the Native peoples to communicate intentions of war against the Europeans.

The French burned Fort Necessity immediately upon their victory, and afterwards much of the knowledge of the fort passed from living memory, so much so that the below model shows what the Fort Necessity National Battlefield first erected in 1932. That's what they thought Fort Necessity looked like!


This dinky little stack of sticks is what it actually looked like:


I think it's fun to see it in the snow, because the original Fort Necessity wasn't around long enough to experience a single snowfall:

I thought about the kids and missed them a lot on this visit. 2016, when they were 10 and 12, was a particularly great homeschool year for us, and this October road trip that we took to see several sites of the American Revolution was just about perfect. The kids were enthusiastic about everything we did and saw, soaked up every piece of information, skipped rocks across the Delaware at Washington's Crossing and sang "The Shot Heard 'Round the World" at the Minuteman battle site, walked the National Road and recited "The Midnight Ride of Paul Revere" in front of his statue, earned every Junior Ranger badge we came across and listened to Dear America diaries and The Matchlock Gun in the car between stops. Currently sitting, as I am, with the discomfort of not knowing what I should do next with my life, it's easy to sink into the nostalgia of the good old days and wish I could just do that again.

Also, I accidentally took several similar photos:

2025

2016

2025

2016
2016

2025

Last of all before getting back in the car for another eight hours, you've got to get your passport stamp, because learning is its own reward, but passport stamps are even better:


There's also a Junior Ranger badge program that's only available on-site, and if you've got more time (and the place isn't packed with snow) you should also visit Jumonville Glen, to see another spot where Washington acted like a dumbass.

So... is travelling around to collect national park passport stamps a suitable fulfilling purpose in life? Asking for a friend, so let me know!

P.S. Want to follow along with my craft projects, books I'm reading, dog-walking mishaps, encounters with Chainsaw Helicopters, and other various adventures on the daily? Find me on my Craft Knife Facebook page!