And for as much as the New Year's holiday was spent mourning Pappa's death and even the Christmas holiday was spent hospital-bedside--
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| On Christmas morning, Pappa naps as Syd plays with her brand new Ponies. |
--I am requiring myself to remember that quite a lot of it was joyful, as well. We baked a truly astonishing number of Christmas cookies, and decorated some epic gingerbread houses:
We did our usual tour of the most elaborately decorated house in Arkansas, and the town park with a Christmas lights trail and a Christmas train that runs through it:
We have seen every single member of our family currently living in the state, I believe, and even a few other out-of-state family members. The kids' favorite member of our family, however?
This new puppy of my mother's.
We ate ice cream floats from an old-fashioned soda fountain and visited the national historic site again so that Syd could show off her 4th Grader National Parks Pass and earn their Junior Ranger badge for a second time:
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| Such nice little lions... |
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| ...until they're not! |
And we did, of course, have a lovely Christmas day:
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| Time for Daddy to wake up! |
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| My sweet girl is always the most excited to see others open the gifts that she gives them. |
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| And I love that I caught Will's excitement watching Syd open a gift of her own. |
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| Will, herself, mostly received dragons. |
At some point, I know, the grief will fade from these memories of this holiday, and I'll remember again the happiness and contentment that I also felt. It will be easier to think of the last days that I spent with Pappa, without feeling sad that those were my last days with him. I know, intellectually, that this will happen.
For now, however, I'll just say that I will be very, very glad to see tomorrow.
It's such a hard part of life and I suck at words of advice. I have lost loved ones, but none that have been as close to me as your Pappa is to you. I have envied the closeness in your past posts, but I can't even imagine the pain you must be feeling now.
ReplyDeleteWhen my step-father passed away unexpectedly, I made a blanket out of his button-down shirts and gave it as a gift to his grandson. While I don't have the physical blanket, the memory of making it is a comfort to me.
When my Memere (my mom's mom) passed away, I kept a bunch of her jewelry (all costume and nothing expensive). From time to time I will pull the pieces out and use them in a craft project. Again, I have given away the finished products (to my sisters), but just working with her jewelry helped me.
And most recently when my Grammy (dad's mom) passed away, I made two blankets from her sweatshirts. I gave one to my youngest nephew, for he was always super snugly with Grammy whenever they went to visit, and I made one for Emma.
Crafting is my therapy. Maybe it can be yours as well.
Crafting is good therapy! Staying busy in general is good. I got up this morning and did ALL THE THINGS! I made breakfast, I cleaned the kitchen, I made a meal plan for the day, I made lesson plans for the day, I am right now doing school with the kids, and then I'm going to do many, many more things on a list of, like, 1,000 tedious chores that I have to keep myself busy.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds like a good plan! Busy is good, just make sure to keep taking care of yourself.
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